DISABILITY

the amount of backhanded comments I'd heard from my irl friends about how they really like the times where I wear things other than sweatpants and hoodies and I should really work on creating my own style is insane

Trevor Noah interviewing Judith “Badass” Heumann

Judy Heumann believed in the inherent value of each disabled individual and would never back down on what she thought was right. Her friends and fellow activists remember her as a strong leader.

Judy Heumann

December 18, 1947 - March 4, 2023

start in the middle and massage away towards your hairline

follow along the brow and above the forehead

rub your temples and cheekbones while you're at it, any sore points

She talks about how, as a kid, you learn to finish work before you can play and that you take this with you into adulthood. So you keep the mindset of having to finish 'have to' tasks/chores before being allowed to 'play'.

Normalize using small words with aac.

Normalize not bullying or making fun of someone who is verbose when able to speak but isn't when using aac.

Normalize being patient for an aac speaker to type.

One thing I'm noticing with back to school is how hard conversations are, especially with people who aren't familiar with my way of communicating, so I wanted to share a bit how you can support your AAC-using peers.

Acknowledge My Needs

You might think it's best practice not to mention I'm communicating differently, but for most of my classmates I find the opposite is true. Classmates don't know how to talk to me, or make assumptions that I won't need modifications in a conversation made, and then I get talked over and left out. Something you can do is politely ask about best practices. Phrases like "Hey, can I do anything to support your communication?" and "Do you need anything from me?" go a long way. Remember that these questions are not to sate your curiosity, but to provide me with an equitable space to communicate.

Give Me Time

In the fast-paced setting of university this is huge. The most common way I get left out of conversations is my peers talking too fast and moving on from subjects and topics before I can participate. Actively involve me! Ask me if I have anything to add. If you see me typing/selecting symbols, take your moment to wrap up your thought, and then glance over at me and wait for me to add on or shake my head to allow you to move on. If I don't have something to say once, don't assume that goes for every time. Regularly pause in conversations and create space for my input. I find I worry about slowing people down in conversations and the more you continuously make space the more I know I'm allowed to participate as an equal.

Involve My Contributions

Sometimes when I share something, it just gets ignored or not acknowledged. I have things to add to a conversation. Acknowledge what I share and build off of it. Have a conversation with me instead of letting me just say dead sentences that go nowhere. In return, I'll do my best to respond in turn and keep the conversation going.

Don't Interact With My Screen

Don't look at it, don't touch, don't move it. If it's in the way, ask if it's really in the way or if you can work around it. If it's in the way still, politely tell me. Unless I invite you to look at or interact with my screen, it should be for me only. Think of it as a brain and my thinking process.

Ask How I Want to Share

Sometimes when sharing with the class I prefer to write, sometimes I prefer to use AAC. If we are sharing back as a class, don't just say you will be the one to share back. Offer and include me in the discussion for options to share back. Understand when I say I don't want to, and if you're someone who's comfortable sharing feel free to volunteer to share for me if I want. Most importantly, respect what I say and listen to if I do or do not want to share back.

Let Me Have the Big Desk

If there's a larger desk in the classroom, let me use it. I need to have my AAC and my notebook and depending on the class sometimes a computer as well. I take up space and if there's extra room you don't need in a class, let me use it.

Go With the Flow

Sometimes I will vocally talk. Go with it. Don't question my ability or inability to talk sometimes. I am not here to sate your curiosity. Communicate with me at my level, how I choose to.

my needs are higher than it is socially appropriate to ask someone to meet when you dont know them well -> i don't know the people running any given organization or program or class at all; i am a stranger to them -> asking for what i need is punished bc it is seen as rude, bossy, or entitled -> this is so aversive to me that i simply stop trying to participate in anything.

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