Walk prouder scream louder ja kohta vedetään taas

1. see this so many times, a lower support needs autistic / adhd person who expected live normal among Ableds talk about struggle w day to day n be so exhausted every day n so many (so many!!!!) similar lower support needs autistic / adhd ppl in notes n comments etc talk abt be similar & feel so broken n failure n alone etc bc no one talk abt it. honestly so heartbreaking n frustrating for me knowing it common LrSN experience

it so common!! so many people struggle with it! but despite be so common, ppl not really talk about it abled ppl don’t n many LrSN ppl also don’t bc embarrassed / don’t know to / been shut down n shamed before / don’t realize not everyone like this. no one know how common of experience it be. despite be so common no one rly have good easily accessible solution to it

2.

n bc am higher support needs person n this be higher support needs blog inevitably going talk about how this impact higher support needs people bc it absolutely does

bc ppl not talk abt this experience n so not realize how common this be among LrSN ppl, AND ppl talk even less abt more severely disabled people & ppl w mid n high support needs, the General Nondisabled World (which many LrSN ppl made to exist in) kick us to our own separate lil contained hidden place to point no one realize we exist or should be put in your world view. so some LrSN (autistic/adhd) ppl inevitably think they higher support needs than they actually be

ppl see struggle w these things n auto label it / themselves who struggle / other ppl as mid or often even high support needs,

bc compare to General Nondisabled World it feel very big n the distress feel very big n the struggle feel very big n it is (!), it be higher than what General Nondisabled World demand them to be. but bc that General Nondisabled World on purpose hide the rest of us who cannot even pretend to blend into n fake it until we make it there no comparison to the whole disability spectrum.

so us mid & high support needs ppl get pushed out even further, where words for us no longer recognizable for us, we forgotten even further.

try seek community using our own terms n words n experiences n descriptions n quick shorthands bc don’t want to / too invasive to / too long to / shouldn’t have to list out every single thing we need support on n be essentially told hi now you too much too high too difficult for even high support needs

low support need get push to mid support needs, mid support needs to adapt get push to high support needs, n high support needs people left no where to go once again

it not about compare to nondisabled ppl bc to them we all too much. it about overall disabled people

n it not just abt you yourself. it about wider it about all

have heard many low support needs ppl come to me n say they been listening to me & other ppl w high support needs & advocating with us centering us in their advocacy n believe we deserve support n through that. they recognize & get more okay n comfy with admit & accommodate their own support needs n deserve support too

support the most marginalized n entire community will feel good effect it trickle up

so

tldr like

low support needs not mean no support needs, unfortunately low support needs not mean no struggle it can often mean immense struggle just like mid n high support needs ppl. struggle with clean house laundry cooking shopping n forget to eat until suddenly it end of day n can’t keep job n constant in burn out all the time n severe depression anxiety ocd etc all be really really common lower support needs autistic / adhd experience in current world unfortunately n deserve more recognition n support n be talk abt more than it be getting right now but it cant just be solely from high support needs people.

… while yes, men including autistic men should not weaponize incompetence to force women do chores

but this be be such? bizzare strawman tangent? to add onto my post? that talk nothing of gender (bc it apply to all genders) or even mention word weaponized incompetence?

***do you know what HSN / high support needs mean? do you know what weaponized incompetence mean? do you know what chores mean?***

which to help:

weaponized incompetence talk about manipulation tactic where someone on purpose (!!) pretend (!!) not be able do something they actually can (!!!) do! it describe person weaponizing their position of power in relationship!

& chores mean household chores mean things that maintain house, for example cleaning furniture & clean up & laundry & load unload dishwasher etc - AKA instrumental activities of daily living (iADL)

& high support needs autistic people (of all genders)… generally be people with significant social communication struggles, repetitive restrictive activities & sensory struggles, & adaptive functioning struggles, which mean they need 24/7 supervision & hands on help on most if not all basic ADLs & iADLs - among other things that be long list & different for everyone & have explained many times before by me n other HSN & non HSN autistic people & sat a hour here trying phrase things but not have language explain it right now. if you not know what typical high support needs person can be like maybe should start there instead.

so having said that.

fail to imagine widespread phenomena where HSN autistic man (population who typically be working on basic social, communication, adaptive, & living skills etc like basic ADLs & how to communicate basic needs to get them met), be skilled enough at “chores,” n date (be in romantic relationship with) woman (who presumably not HSN considering it implied she able do these chores), (or be family members with women), n have the **power** in relationship to weaponize n to pretend to not able do what colloquially call “chores” when he actually have ability do so, n to make women do that for him

like we know not being able do something is not weaponized incompetence right?

but not just imagine hypothetical, but actually see & hear about & personally live in (!!) reality otherwise around, an actual widespread ableist phenomena, where people (of all gender) around HSN autistic people (of all gender) actually be PRESUMED incompetent, not believed be able do or learn things, not allowed do things, not give opportunities to do things, to point we seen as forever children who need protecting and/or demonized as aggressive danger n locked away (esp if we talking about HSN autistic people of color, n HSN autistic Black men esp come to mind), to point “presume competence” be one of major slogan in HSN & nonverbal nonspeaking AAC user advocacy.

or other REAL reality of how so many HSN autistic people (including men) actually not have our needs met, instead of opposite!! be locked away be ignored be left in neglect & abuse by people all around us, from family members to professional carers to educators to medical professionals to policy makers to… so many others, who all hold extreme power over us, including our literal life. we be left at whim & charity of everyone around us, depend on others & their mood & availability & niceness & grace & professionalism to stay literal alive. if we not get basic of basic support we need many of us just die!

who weaponizing whose incompetence here?

while yes HSN autistic men do benefit from male privilege n this show up in how they fare compare to other HSN autistic people of other genders in e.g diagnosis rate, how we treated n seen by others, healthcare, influence by other factors like race, n that be whole other VERY nuanced conversation that need lots care n not simple straightforward arrow, but like. this be wild overestimation of what power they have on interpersonal level. & let not forget intersectionality!

why this the **first & only** thing that you have to say when mere “high support needs” be put into conversation?

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