A diminutive of juniper

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Elfbruary Day 8: Arwen the Smith

I noticed in my recent reread that the banner Arwen makes isn't described as embroidered or woven. It's described as "made" and "wrought." Words Tolkien uses for things made through smithcraft. And the materials mentioned for the banner are metals, not any specific cloth.

Find the pattern here

i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:

Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:

The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!

Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏

Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!

it would be so awesome

Heads up guys there’s a new scam going around. I literally just got two in a row

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How Oropher Became King:

How Thranduil Became King:

PROPAGANDA:

[Dick]

"Just look at him and tell me you don't want to get him preggo."

[Ian]

"It's me. The same person who submitted him last time. He did better than I thought he would so I KNOWWW I ain't crazy! I need that man BRED. He was too powerful, they couldn't let him carry any children himself. He's the living embodiment of Cassandra from Greek myth, cursed to always be right and never have anyone believe him. Maybe a child from his own womb would break the curse. 🙂‍↕️😮‍💨"

(Bc why else would be be strutting around with his tits out half the time?)

PROPAGANDA:

[Stan]

"It would be funny if the twin of the winner won."

"He would be an amazing dad, even though at first he is gruff and a bit reckless, you can see as the series goes on, how deeply he loves and cares for the people closest to him, he would do anything for his family, and he would be the most dedicated dad out there."

"Gotta get both twins knocked up."

"why should Ford have all the fun? also Stan would be a WAY better dad than Ford."

"HED BE SUCH A SINGLE DAD I NEED HIM PREGNANT AND STRUGGLING WITH A BABY AND RAISING HER THE BEST HE CAN AND SOMETIMES FAILING BUT OVER ALL MAKING IT WORK I CAN PICTURE HIM USING HIS PREGNANT BELLY AS AN ICECREAM TABLE WHILE HE WATCHES DUCKTECTIVE AND PERIOD DRAMAS."

"He's the sexier more breedable brother to me but also I just think it'd be funny if he won the second time around since Ford won the first one :)"

Grunkle Stan propaganda from last season

[Senshi]

"You know he'd take such good care of his body and eat extra well to make sure that the baby arrives healthy and strong. Also, he'd make such a good father."

"He's perfect mother material also just look at those tits."

"Dude is peak malewife material AND dad material, why wouldn't we need him pregnant??"