frickin' fiction

you deserve a life you aren’t constantly recovering from

I wish we lived in a beautiful world where people did not use things for evil because I wish I could send gifts to people without knowing their address or asking them to doxx themselves. because like. for example sometimes i will be like oh that's a cute guinea pig plushie I wish I could send it to my guinea pig mutual who I've never spoken to or interacted with because I think they'd like it. but I can't do that without being like, hi, I'm a stranger on the internet you've never spoken to, tell me your home address, I want to mail you an object. I just want to be able to hand a box to the post office worker and be like, hello, this is for guineapigmutual, and they will nod and say yep we know exactly who that is and they will take it and mail it and I don't need to ever know the actual address or name or anything. unfortunately things cannot work like this but I can dream

Maybe the goal right now isn’t perfection. Maybe the goal right now isn’t performance. Maybe the goal is staying human. Maybe the goal is not abandoning yourself.

jowls are normal double chin is normal stretch marks are normal armpit fat is normal. none of the things that tiktok and instagram are telling you to change are things you need to even consider changing. you can have a normal body, it will be okay

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

chronic pain diagnoses are all like yeah we don't know what this is or why it happens. we also don't know how to treat it. good luck out there soldier

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

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OOPS TOO DEEP

Sorry—Centralia, Pennsylvania? Centralia, Pennsylvania, which was abandoned because a fire that started in a garbage dump lit a coal seam beneath the town, causing a subterranean fire that has been burning for decades, undermining the land, causing deadly sinkholes, building collapses, and eruptions of toxic gas? That Centralia, Pennsylvania?

baby, my passion for you smoulders undying like the coal seam under the penis trail in Centralia, Pennsylvania