The moose

men will literally run off a cliff and hang in mid air for two seconds before realizing it, looking down, and then dropping from a deathly tall height 

men will get into a fight with someone and turn into a dust cloud with stars in it

men will follow a carefree baby into a dangerous construction zone or factory and get hurt in any number of comical ways while the baby remains unscathed

men will drive several nails into a piece of wood with a hammer then when their attention is taken away from the task at hand hit their thumb with the hammer causing it to swell to the size of a dodgeball and turn red

men will literally unhinge their mouths for the sole purpose of eating a decker sandwich that is 4x taller than their head in a single bite

men will wear garments such as ties or scarves around their neck so as to make them easier to animate

men will be crushed by a heavy object and fold up like an accordion, accompanied by actual accordion music after this happens

men, when asked how many lumps they want, will pathetically think that the person asking meant lumps of sugar. the man will ask for two lumps, only to be hit with a large mallet two times in a row

men will consume spinach and immediately double in size

men will have chases in corridors with doors where they enter from a door and randomly come out of another one, often in completely random patterns.

Almost as bad as French.

With French you’re only ever one omitted article away from an obscenity.

Just like how in English anything can be an obscenity if you try really hard and believe in yourself

As a kid, I was really upset that Bill Watterson wouldn't license Calvin & Hobbes so I could have plushies or so there would be a Saturday morning cartoon. Now, I realize his resistance is the reason we don't have a Calvin & Hobbes DreamWorks movie starring Chris Pratt.

Everybody say thank you to Our Lord of Artistic Integrity, Bill Watterson.

someday we will think of dogs as types, loosely sorted into groupings based on purpose & broad physical traits, and nothing will be siloed in closed studbooks in a bunch of separate breed clubs and kennel clubs and the concept of purity will be utterly irrelevant 🙏 inshallah and the creek don't rise

someday we will think of dogs as types, loosely sorted into groupings based on purpose & broad physical traits, and nothing will be siloed in closed studbooks in a bunch of separate breed clubs and kennel clubs and the concept of purity will be utterly irrelevant 🙏 inshallah and the creek don't rise