if you or a loved one have ever tried looking up discussion of a female fictional character online only to see terms like ‘waifu’ and ‘best girl’ used you may be entitled to financial compensation

ok yes it’s true ‘mom friend’ and ‘girlboss’ also suck but this is specifically about the nightmare that is dudebro fans looking at every woman in a story like she’s gonna come to life and be his real life loyal housewife. like the implication is that, regardless of the medium of the story, somehow they see this as a dating sim where they choose who their fave is and project romantic fantasies onto her, acting as if they are in any way a part of this fictional world and she could ever love them back. it is the art of ranking every female character by appearance and cute girl tendencies and pitting them against each other. like boy she’s not your domestic girlfriend she is pixels and also she’s too busy fighting for her life inside the hell dimension aren’t you interested in the story

this email couldve been a meeting where we stand on seven tall pillars with our faces in shadow

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here