heck yeah babey

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it

YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!

And there’s me

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

my friend liz had her spotify account hacked and literally didn’t realize for a year until I was talking about my decade in review playlist and she looked at hers and it was all brazilian music and she was like oh this explains why I would go to sleep listening to classical music and wake up and it’s playing trap. and also why there are like 30 playlists on my account that I didn’t make. she just thought spotify was like that

hand to god at some point my friend liz managed to fuck up her install of Portal so bad that it was displaying minecraft textures

tonight she very carefully explained that there’s been a screw rattling around in her laptop for months but today it stopped which means it’s wedged on something and then the image on the screen started sliding sideways but she rebooted three times and now it’s fixed. and then an hour later she dropped from the call

Baby shoes for sale theylook gay

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

so how am I ever supposed to quit this stupid website when there's just casual shakespeare jokes on the reg

We used to make posts about loki on here

I love this post so much. “we used to make posts about loki on here” is the gentlest way possible to describe this website’s history. It’s like saying einstein dabbled in science

you have to withstand it bro. you have to endure it patiently