Settle a bet.
Who wins in a fight?
Kronk
Gaston
soooo true bestie
NO ONE GETS THEIR ASS BEAT IN A POLL LIKE GASTON
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Show & Tell
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Origami Around


roma★

izzy's playlists!
One Nice Bug Per Day
taylor price
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
trying on a metaphor
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Discoholic 🪩
Game of Thrones Daily

@theartofmadeline

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@caketea
Settle a bet.
Who wins in a fight?
Kronk
Gaston
soooo true bestie
NO ONE GETS THEIR ASS BEAT IN A POLL LIKE GASTON

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odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again
I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful.
@theshitpostcalligrapher
ay @systlin hmu
@systlin
My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.
Solen sken, skönt gyllene
Dagen Tor föddes
På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell
Där låg Loke
—KJN
My translation:
The sun shone, sweet golden
The day of Tor’s birth
On the tarmac, by Taco Bell
There lay Loki
(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)
@bold-sartorial-statement
ay yo show ur husband
@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes:
(oops spot the typos)
i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it
Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki
The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing
This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!
And in Danish because why not:
Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden
På dagen for Tors fødsel
På asfalten ved Taco Bell
Dér lå Loke
“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”
*Snorts*
When Thor born
He hair shine brite
A very very
Magical site
But then I see
A bab from hell
I pik up loki
From taco bell
the rosetta stone of shitposting
@incorrectnorse-quotes
Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite
there should be coming of age stories for people turning 30
Mini sunrise tapestry made with weaving, needle felting, and embroidery.
Also my cat Gansey.
(◡‿◡✿)
(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”
(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”
✿\(。-_-。) “Kick his ass, baby. I got yo flower.”
Fun fact
After my response, O.P. said “YOU RUINED MY POST” and that’s the one reblog I wish I could find

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY–
here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:
it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.
so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
you have to pay for pay per view.
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”
AS A FAMILY.
and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.
“i received the tv bill today,” my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. “does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?”
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography
silence.
my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”
silence.
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”
WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?
“don’t expose my kid to that crap.”
DON’T
EXPOSE
MY KID
TO THAT CRAP
“if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room.”
I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
IN THE LIVING ROOM
but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
are you fucking kidding
i did not want to go to porn prison
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences
but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?
are you fucking kidding
this is the best thing i’ve ever done
*flies past*
omfg did you guys see that????
jack black is literally the only human that never needs any context for me. I could see him going anywhere and doing anything. like if i got abducted by aliens and saw him just wandering around the spaceship putting bugle chips on his fingers to make it look like he has claws i would be like ‘that’s some classic jack black right there’ and not even question it
prometheus: hot take,
the greek gods: no give that back
I shouldn’t have laughed that loudly
calm down guys, it's only the 8th
At this rate, Caesar won't even show up on the day. You tipped him off.
At this rate, Caesar
won’t even show up on the
day. You tipped him off.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Caesar was tipped off by a seer and still showed up
This has gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. 😂😂😂
Remember to eat, my loves! There's a whole world of delicious joy awaiting you! X

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Equivalent in Leeds, England
You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........
now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020
is it too early or can we start screaming now
in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner
this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world
detective pikachu was a cute movie and all but the part where they drenched a mr. mime in gasoline before setting him on fire and watching him burn alive was really fucked up
I like how this sounds like a typical shitpost but no it actually happens in the movie.
We should go back to rating everything like Bill and Ted. Those guys were onto something.
You guys I just realized that what I’ve always wanted out of werewolf fiction is a story where lycanthropy isn’t a purely human condition
Like this dude wakes up from his wolfbender and his room is full of all these fucking chickens from local farms that he initiated into his pack. They all start clucking and crowing at the moon and when it’s full they all transform into these tiny little weird bipedal wolves with wings.
I don’t remember making this post but it’s going around again and I’m losing my shit
Imagine becoming a werewolf because you got attacked by a fucked up chicken
A wildlife rehab centre discovers that one of its patients is a lycanthrope when the full moon hits and their wolf transforms into a slightly different wolf.

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It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.
IT'S REAL
AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER COMES FROM DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND
ITS REAL
Mr. Pretty from Dildo, Newfoundland photographed a Giant Penis Shaped Iceberg
IN CONCEPTION BAY
This reads like an article in the postillion
anything u think about YOUR life after 10pm is bs to be ignored. anything u think about a character’s life after 10pm should be posted about online and expanded on for paragraphs. :)