horse friebd

My issue basically is that I'm a bit traumatised by which I mean I've had a normal reaction to an upsetting dangerous and scary situation and my normal reaction is bothersome to people who are forced to operate in the confines of a professional setting which is everyone including me. I've been given action items as per usual which involve simply being relaxed instead of being upset. I've failed at this. I'm a very bad girl and I must suffer. Action item: fuck it, live the rest of my life. Give my cat junior everything she could possibly want. Literally do whatever.

Stevie couldn't even eat hollandaise sauce. She's scraping hollandaise off a poached egg, regularly. The finesse required to do this... Little girls have never been free.

I'm 33 and when I eat more than one slice of pizza I think of Bonnie Bryant and I feel ashamed. Apologise to me Bonnie.

Bonnie Bryant, the turtles were allowed to eat unlimited pizza in a sewer and they were Cool for it. Lisa Atwood caught anorexia at summer camp and had to see a psychiatrist.

Still deeply affected by Bonnie Bryant writing the saddle club girls eating two slices of pizza tops after a long day of backbreaking physical labour and then being like *groan* im a deplorable fat fuck

Deleted the draft and booked a real therapy appointment

Who am I kidding you guys like home improvement and dinner parties and having sex #outcast #fringeofsociety

Do you guys like Minecraft?

Woman was mean to me today and I will be attempting to cope with this for the rest of my life as per usual

It feels like my hips and lower back are wrapped sailor moon style in shreds of bleeding screaming muscle 😌 regardless I love my life because the sun is out and the sky is BLUE

Waaaait my understanding of the anatomy of the spinal cord maybe is bad and wrong. Listen. Umm. They barely told me anything, and I was on drugs. The spinal cord terminates at L1/2 and then turns into the big stringy spaghetti cauda equina which is still within the dura and floating in CSF soup? Can you guys understand the spine because I can't. Everybody said spinal cord to me, is it not spinal cord?...

Oh also I got a call from my dad to say they told him he has three months to live and not that it's a big deal and it's probably fine and they just needed to put something on the form so he could get federally funded home hospice, and don't tell my sister.

The neurosurgeon (beautiful woman) said I was recovering really well which I took to mean I'm a good little girl for mummy and behaving everso well and I said yes I'm so fantastically happy I can walk, which is true, and I said like here's my big list of problems not that they're a big deal or anything and it's probably fine and she's like ehhh could be the surgery could be (vaguely) the nerve and we smiled and laughed with each other and it was a fabulous ten minutes all in all. I do get to do my MRI early, vaguely within the next two months, and do get to see a hospital urologist vaguely within the next few weeks but so far getting anything from the hospital at all requires the hospital physiotherapist (goat and beautiful woman) to doggedly follow up on my behalf so we'll see what happens. Also! I got all my MRIs on a USB stick for finally for the first time ever I've laid eyes on the actual tumour himself which I've been asking for at every opportunity since they took the damn photo. Kinda bonkers that I consented to this mutilation without ever seeing the evidence of a tumour with mine own eyes, and it's been greatly psychologically settling to finally see it. No one in my life is as excited as I am to see it so that kinda pisses me off. Can I get a "Woah that's crazy" please when I post it?