Eat Your Teeth, Brush Your Vegetables

no offense to the english but i just found out england has only ever won the world cup once.. wtf do you mean “it’s coming home” she doesn’t even know you omg

I can't believe I only just realized John Waters was in a Simpsons episode lol

He was also in an SVU episode

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

The really weird autistic sweet spot where you just say things you think and people find you super funny

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

ok im really curious do you guys have books you consider your "white whale"? as in books you keep telling yourself oh yeah i really want to read that, but you keep not reading it?

American diet and "healthy living" culture is insane and runs DEEP

who the heck is eating dice, cards, and pool

WHAT is the first one supposed to be? It looks like 'piecing between meals' to me, but that can't be what it says, right?

It does in fact say “piecing between meals” and it refers to snacking

I'm more struck by the fact that the progression set forth here implies that laudanum and cocaine are less concerning that spicing your food.