stoned comedian ringo

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

why DO kon and cassie know how to lindy hop in yj98 . is there a world where ur average teenage straight couple in the 90s knows how to lindy hop

it was INCREDIBLY TRENDY at the time, actually. there was an entire subcultural swing revival for like eighteen months and people took lindy lessons. i was there.

when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

You can also find a sunset at a gas station

oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE

putting my Buggy cherry blossoms gif in every post about it is a form of rent lowering gunshot

..... i'm calling myself a clown before anybody else can......

putting my Buggy cherry blossoms gif in every post about it is a form of rent lowering gunshot

I've seen this clip many times, but never really appreciated the power of "what was her problem?" Just casually assuming that lesbians come in a wide variety of shapes and being inclusive. As a transbian who is probably still closer to Homer shaped than to my ideal, that's huge!