a memory which acts

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

official vampire post

i love having friends who can communicate like adults it's so cool

i don't think "at least with real gambling you have a chance to get actual money!" is a fair criticism of gacha games, because that's just not how addiction works and gacha is built to prey on and develop gambling addictions, but it is really funny that we invented a way to bet on horse races that doesn't pay you

Guys … what if we made art of these politicians having gay sex and being trans… you know what if we made art where the whole joke is someone who I don’t like is gay and trans. I’m so progressive they should give me a medal

Guys … what if we drew male politicians in dresses!! Make sure all the ugly gross details of their face and body hair are visible. Because man in dress funny!!! There is nothing wrong with using the idea of a man in a dress to mock and belittle people and associate that with badness and bigotry. Being progressive is so easy!! Anyway #terfsdni #i❤️transwomen I’m such a trans ally !!

To me in 2016: if youre still on this website, fuck you but i understand

girl youre not gonna believe this

the problem with being kind of unashamedly a weird guy is that its still kind of hurtful when people treat you like you’re weird. like yeah man I know you perceive me as very eccentric and an iconoclast but if you’re constantly reacting to me like I’ve grown two heads and said something totally insane every time I open my mouth. I uh. I am not gonna feel especially welcomed in your life. you know.

remember to be scared all day so youre not caught off guard when it happens

OF COURSE this post is a joke. you have to be scared at night too

I hope they choose a new person to be me tomorrow I kinda don’t feel like doing it

A fun but admittedly petty thing I do is when I see a post on social media where someone is saying “God bless Trump!! Pray for Trump!!”and suchlike, I comment, “Amen! Psalm 109:8-17!” And depending on the platform I’ll get likes/hearts/prayer hands emojis etc. but I’ve been doing this for months and so far no one has actually read the verse, I don’t think. Lol.

It's so so so so cool how you can struggle your entire life with basic every day functionality and you're just barely managing to do it because you have no choice and then when you say "hey maybe there's something wrong that's making this harder than it is for everyone else" you get told that can't be the case because you're managing. And by cool I mean I'm going to kill someone

I still won't forget when my wisdom tooth got infected and couldn't sleep bc the pain was so bad and I took like 4 of those those blue gel ibuprofens and I finally fell asleep for a couple hours and kept having dreams about beautiful glowing blue animals that help you and I kept waking up thinking the blue animals will help me and realizing wait what are blue animals they aren't real and immediately falling back asleep thinking about the blue animals again

Let's not cooperate with mama

Always lovely to see how universal the experience of getting a very unwilling and strong minded toddler into the car seat can be.