A Fierce And Unrelenting Joy

okay so I fucking love event planning and decorating and hosting and baking, aka all the elements of a banger birthday party. I am so freaking happy to throw people parties because it means I get to throw a party, then go to a party! yippee!

so my friend's birthday rolled around and I knew she wanted a party because I'd done them for her before, but I wanted to make it extra special because she was turning the big 25. so I did all the regular stuff I am So Excited About: had her roommates let me into her apartment while she was out, put up balloons and homemade garlands and streamers and table decor, made her favorite cake and snack plates and cocktails, ordered catering from a restaurant she loves, got a bunch of our friends to come over to surprise her, wrote her a disgustingly heartfelt card, etc. and then because it was the big quarter century, I was like I gotta do something extra.

now. I do not like clowns. my friend loves clowns. we've gone to the circus together and she's seen me literally close my eyes and hide when the clowns are out in the audience, meanwhile she's screaming and waving at them. so obviously I hired a clown for her birthday. (btw seeing him out of clown costume made me less freaked out because now I knew that the guy under there looks like someone's uncle.)

so she showed up after work totally expecting a party because I'm too paranoid to throw a real surprise party, and obviously loved it. and then I was like btw. there's a clown.

she lost her mind. she was sooo excited. she loved the party and she loved the clown. I was like haha yes I'm getting a good grade in birthday parties and didn't think much of it because frankly I do this a lot, and it's so much fun for me that I don't consider it work. like, I love doing all that for my friends. it's not any kind of sacrifice.

two days later, she texted me that she broke up with her boyfriend.

naturally I was like omg tell me everything I hated that guy let's get coffee. so we did and she told me that for her birthday, her boyfriend of nine months 1) forgot about it and didn't get her anything, 2) got mad at her for not texting him while she was at her party, 3) got mad at her for telling him about the party because it was "passive aggressive", and 4) called her immature and stupid for being excited about a clown at her birthday.

Things only exist if you can see them in indie Sci-Fi puzzle adventure, Object Impermanence. So does this post only exist if you see it too?

The Steam page may also only exist if you see it:

First image: Heretics being publicly tortured during the Spanish Inquisition. Approximately 300,000 Jews, accounting for a quarter of the Jewish population in Spain at the time, were forcibly converted, ethnically cleansed, exiled, brutally tortured or killed. Contrary to their modern comical appearance, Jews do actually tend to expect the Spanish Inquisition. This sort of mass violence against our communities keeps happening, in every generation.

Second Image: The KKK marches in Washington, 1926. This is meant to represent the KKK in general, but having them parade in front of the USA Capitol building was just too apt. Known primarily for their persecution and lynching of Black Americans, the Klan's 20th Century resurgence was actually kick-started by the brutal lynching of Jewish American Leo Frank, following false accusations that he murdered a 13-year-old girl. By 1925, the Klan had 4 million members, more than the total population of Jews in the United States. Jews also faced institutional segregation and persecution in the US during this time, being barred from Whtie banks, colleges, sports teams, neighbourhoods, and social clubs.

Third Image: A photo taken during the Farhud, a massive mob violence against Jews in Iraq during Shavuot 1941. This particular pogrom was spurred on when pro-Nazi Iraqi soldiers overthrew the government and attempted to ally themselves with the Axis powers. Local radio began spewing frequent antisemitic propaganda, accusing Jews of being British loyalists, and the homes and businesses of Jews were marked with red paint. The increase in antisemitic propaganda led to the murder of as many as 200 Jews, with 900 Jewish homes and businesses being destroyed.

Third Image, Kind Of. I used an image of the Farhud in this post because it represented a pronounced uptick in antisemitism based on considering Jews to be "germs" or "colonial loyalists", but I also intended this image to represent the beginning of massive Jewish persecution and pogroms in the Arab World. During the 20th Century, upwards of a million Jews were ethnically cleansed from Muslim-majority nations, from Morocco to Iran. If I added a photo or a description for every one of those incidents, this post would go on much longer than I would even care to read.

Fourth Image: The Nazis. If you've made it this far, you know why they're here. This post is long enough as is.

Fifth Image: Prisoners are led by a gunman into the gulags. The gulags were meant to house any form of "undesirable" in the Soviet Union, but Jews were especially targeted by Stalinist policies. The government painted all Jews as "rootless cosmopolitans", or stateless capitalists who were more loyal to monetary gain or to Zionism than to the communist state. This campaign led nearly all Soviet Jews to be purged from academia, education, and the arts. They were blacklisted and starved, sent to a barren farm in the Jewish Autonomous Oblast, or put in a gulag to endure forced labour under hazardous conditions.

Sixth Image: While the Soviets were attempting to get rid of all their (((capitalists))), the Americans were trying to get rid of all their (((communists))). Senator Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee began blacklisting and imprisoning suspected communist sympathizers. 90% of teachers and actors blacklisted during the Red Scare were Jews, and these policies led to the USA's first-ever federal execution of likely-innocent Jews Ethel and Julius Rosenberg. Surprising nobody, several congressmen in the HUAAC were former members of the KKK.

Seventh Image: The Chinese Cultural Revolution. Mao Zedong's PRC at some times mandated, and at other times conveniently ignored, the brutal slaughter of millions of Chinese educators, artists, and scientists, to ensure that whoever remained would be staunchly loyal to the Communist Party government. There were precious few Jews left in China at this point, and most of them were atheists, anti-Zionists, and publicly committed to the PRC cause. That didn't stop them from being imprisoned for decades and sent to forced labour camps. Their crimes? Merely having Jewish ancestry.

Eighth Image: Protests during the 1968 Polish Political Crisis. Political instability in Poland caused an uptick in student protests, which the Polish government blamed on the Jews, saying we had "masterminded" and "orchestrated" instability in the country. About 13,000 Jewish Holocaust survivors and their children were subsequently ethnically cleansed from Poland under the guise of anti-Zionism (see rootless cosmopolitans, above). You can see the Polish cognates for Zionism and Israel on the bottom of their posters. Beginning with mass anti-Zionist protests, the crises evolved into mob violence, blacklists, and political prosecutions. Jews across Poland were forced to publicly denounce Israel and Zionism, and in many cases, doing so didn't prevent them from being targeted by discrimination.

Ninth Image: Unite the Right Rally in Charlottesville, VA, 2017. Like the Nazis, this is one that most people will instantly recognize and know about.

Tenth Image: Modern anti-Zionist protests. I picked one choice antisemitic poster that has stuck with me, but there are many, many more examples I could have chosen. Today, we see the echoes of the violence we faced before. Like Leo Frank, we are accused of killing children, of blood libel, despite many of us having no hand in those deaths. Like in the Farhud, red paint is used to mark Jewish homes and businesses. Like in Poland, we are accused of masterminding and orchestrating plots to create political instability and benefit ourselves: "The Superbowl is a cover to distract us from Gaza! Spotify Wrapped is a cover to distract us from Gaza!" Like in communist nations, we are all decried as more loyal to Zionism than we are to our diaspora nations and communities. Jews in the public eye are forced to publicly stand against Israel and Zionism to avoid blacklists and boycotts, and yet many of them are still boycotted and blacklisted simply for being Jewish. Violence against Jewish communities is constantly justified under the guise of anti-Zionism.

First image: Heretics being publicly tortured during the Spanish Inquisition. Approximately 300,000 Jews, accounting for a quarter of the Jewish population in Spain at the time, were forcibly converted, ethnically cleansed, exiled, brutally tortured or killed. Contrary to their modern comical appearance, Jews do actually tend to expect the Spanish Inquisition. This sort of mass violence against our communities keeps happening, in every generation.

Second Image: The KKK marches in Washington, 1926. This is meant to represent the KKK in general, but having them parade in front of the USA Capitol building was just too apt. Known primarily for their persecution and lynching of Black Americans, the Klan's 20th Century resurgence was actually kick-started by the brutal lynching of Jewish American Leo Frank, following false accusations that he murdered a 13-year-old girl. By 1925, the Klan had 4 million members, more than the total population of Jews in the United States. Jews also faced institutional segregation and persecution in the US during this time, being barred from Whtie banks, colleges, sports teams, neighbourhoods, and social clubs.

Third Image: A photo taken during the Farhud, a massive mob violence against Jews in Iraq during Shavuot 1941. This particular pogrom was spurred on when pro-Nazi Iraqi soldiers overthrew the government and attempted to ally themselves with the Axis powers. Local radio began spewing frequent antisemitic propaganda, accusing Jews of being British loyalists, and the homes and businesses of Jews were marked with red paint. The increase in antisemitic propaganda led to the murder of as many as 200 Jews, with 900 Jewish homes and businesses being destroyed.

Third Image, Kind Of. I used an image of the Farhud in this post because it represented a pronounced uptick in antisemitism based on considering Jews to be "germs" or "colonial loyalists", but I also intended this image to represent the beginning of massive Jewish persecution and pogroms in the Arab World. During the 20th Century, upwards of a million Jews were ethnically cleansed from Muslim-majority nations, from Morocco to Iran. If I added a photo or a description for every one of those incidents, this post would go on much longer than I would even care to read.

Fourth Image: The Nazis. If you've made it this far, you know why they're here. This post is long enough as is.

Fifth Image: Prisoners are led by a gunman into the gulags. The gulags were meant to house any form of "undesirable" in the Soviet Union, but Jews were especially targeted by Stalinist policies. The government painted all Jews as "rootless cosmopolitans", or stateless capitalists who were more loyal to monetary gain or to Zionism than to the communist state. This campaign led nearly all Soviet Jews to be purged from academia, education, and the arts. They were blacklisted and starved, sent to a barren farm in the Jewish Autonomous Oblast, or put in a gulag to endure forced labour under hazardous conditions.

Sixth Image: While the Soviets were attempting to get rid of all their (((capitalists))), the Americans were trying to get rid of all their (((communists))). Senator Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee began blacklisting and imprisoning suspected communist sympathizers. 90% of teachers and actors blacklisted during the Red Scare were Jews, and these policies led to the USA's first-ever federal execution of likely-innocent Jews Ethel and Julius Rosenberg. Surprising nobody, several congressmen in the HUAAC were former members of the KKK.

Seventh Image: The Chinese Cultural Revolution. Mao Zedong's PRC at some times mandated, and at other times conveniently ignored, the brutal slaughter of millions of Chinese educators, artists, and scientists, to ensure that whoever remained would be staunchly loyal to the Communist Party government. There were precious few Jews left in China at this point, and most of them were atheists, anti-Zionists, and publicly committed to the PRC cause. That didn't stop them from being imprisoned for decades and sent to forced labour camps. Their crimes? Merely having Jewish ancestry.

Eighth Image: Protests during the 1968 Polish Political Crisis. Political instability in Poland caused an uptick in student protests, which the Polish government blamed on the Jews, saying we had "masterminded" and "orchestrated" instability in the country. About 13,000 Jewish Holocaust survivors and their children were subsequently ethnically cleansed from Poland under the guise of anti-Zionism (see rootless cosmopolitans, above). You can see the Polish cognates for Zionism and Israel on the bottom of their posters. Beginning with mass anti-Zionist protests, the crises evolved into mob violence, blacklists, and political prosecutions. Jews across Poland were forced to publicly denounce Israel and Zionism, and in many cases, doing so didn't prevent them from being targeted by discrimination.

Ninth Image: Unite the Right Rally in Charlottesville, VA, 2017. Like the Nazis, this is one that most people will instantly recognize and know about.

Tenth Image: Modern anti-Zionist protests. I picked one choice antisemitic poster that has stuck with me, but there are many, many more examples I could have chosen. Today, we see the echoes of the violence we faced before. Like Leo Frank, we are accused of killing children, of blood libel, despite many of us having no hand in those deaths. Like in the Farhud, red paint is used to mark Jewish homes and businesses. Like in Poland, we are accused of masterminding and orchestrating plots to create political instability and benefit ourselves: "The Superbowl is a cover to distract us from Gaza! Spotify Wrapped is a cover to distract us from Gaza!" Like in communist nations, we are all decried as more loyal to Zionism than we are to our diaspora nations and communities. Jews in the public eye are forced to publicly stand against Israel and Zionism to avoid blacklists and boycotts, and yet many of them are still boycotted and blacklisted simply for being Jewish. Violence against Jewish communities is constantly justified under the guise of anti-Zionism.

I will be downloading everything I purchased from Bandcamp and keeping an eye on it.

So, in terrible news, Trump's trying to pull some strings to pass this massive internet censorship bill, featuring all the kinds of internet censorship we're terrified of, including mandatory ID for accessing basically any website, specifically to crush state regulation of AI, because apparently this man will always see the moral bottom of the barrel and start digging.