–did you think was gonna happen??

President of the City Council here. So, we wanted all of you to know, we've heard your feedback, your concerns, that our recent push for sustainable wind energy might have a deleterious effect on the local avian population. They'll fly into the Turbines, you say. That seems like it'd hurt. And we want you to know, we're listening. We listened. That's why I'm proud to announce the new civic position of County Turbine Sharpener. Each morn the noble Turbine Sharpener will freehand up the main body of the turbine, grindstone in each hand and a third between his teeth, to sharpen the each of the three turbine blades to a razors edge, thus ensuring that any wayward birds will receive a swift and painless death. Although this is of course far better than they deserve

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

writing is so fun when i’m not doing it

how DARE you piss on the corpse!

the etymology of "piano" is so fucking dumb I love it. yeah this is my cool new harpsichord. it has more volume control than a standard harpsichord so we call it a "loudsoft" for short. or a "softloud" if you prefer. but that's still a bit of a mouthful so I've been thinking of just calling it a soft.

my tea bag broke

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

Instead of True Crime, there should be a genre called True Law. everyone researches heinous acts of cruelty that were entirely, perfectly legal & sanctioned by the governments of their countries. Instead of True Crime’s freakish eugenicist obsession with “The Criminal Mind” (as if “criminals” are a biologically different species) —-the True Law podcasters could describe horrific acts of violence committed by police officers & prison guards & soldiers &etc, and breathlessly attempt to understand the twisted mysteries of “The Legal Mind.” It’s necessary, for Equality

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.