EVERYONE EXCEPT

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

um actually you can join the army at 16

but you need your mum to write you a permission slip

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

"I asked chatgpt" okay well I asked Tumblr and- wait, one second- there's some new yaoi lore in the space fandom or something- oh my god is that Markiplier?