"Men DNI" people DNI because I am a man | pÄkehÄ | bi trans man | 18+ | Person of Interest, The Locked Tomb | This blog contains content which may be inappropriate for young people. All are welcome here, but keep in mind that this blog is meant for adults.
Well damn. I was going to be spending less time online anyway, but it would have been nice for them not to ruin online. Feel free to send me an ask or DM for alternate contact details if you know me (mutuals and people I've talked to before included!).
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The realization that a lot of these people who claim to be super informed on feminism and feminist theory probably don't even actually know what white feminism is and think that it's just identifying someone as a feminist who is white is kinda rocking me a bit.
Maybe I'm xkcd 2501, but I feel like if you're gonna claim to know feminist theory, ideology, or practice in any robust sense you kind of have know what white feminism is. It just feels like such a foundational building block to understanding and engaging with modern feminist critique.
I've been thinking about the whole "people who claim to be informed despite clearly displaying that they're nowhere near as informed as they say they are" thing a lot lately (on a variety of topics tbh. it's kinda everywhere). I think it's a few different groups with subtly different mindsets (+ overlap) who do this, some of whom are flat out lying and some of whom genuinely think they're well-informed (when they're not).
ramble alert uhhh it got long whoops. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did
we live in a very dominance-based world that values hierarchy, and arguments are one of the socially accepted avenues to do that through. having the "right"/correct opinions is a form of social capital and status for people. they feel like it gives them authority, hence why online arguments seem to cling to other forms of hierarchy in order to try to establish a sense of authority for themselves (and thereby assert dominance above the other person they're arguing with). I don't think it's fair to say that they're completely disinterested in intellectual debate or education or learning (you can still have multiple motivations lol), but that's certainly not the main focus in a lot of these online discourses (or so it seems).
so I think people will engage with subject matters in a way that makes them feel self-important, or equips them with some sorta authority. academics are still somewhat respected, if for no other reason than accepting that a person who has done a shit ton of reading and learning about a subject probably knows it pretty well (though sometimes people will fight you on this, too). so there's an incentive to kinda....... cosplay doing that work, in order to bolster your own perceived credibility in your arguments. sometimes because people find it boosts their ego to think of themselves as an Intellectual⢠(or at least feel like they are one) by engaging with more advanced topics and theories, and sometimes because they just want to exert control over people and that's an "easy" way to do so.
anyone can lie on the internet. the main people who can really tell if somebody's bullshitting tend to be actual academics themselves, and there are proportionally few in comparison to the amount of people online. and even then, we can still be dead wrong about it. a lot of people can lie very convincingly. the only thing I've found that seems to be more common amongst academics (at least around these here parts of the wild wild internet) is a type of general humility and tolerance for ambiguity/uncertainty (I think there is a humbling that happens in higher ed that not many people are subjected to otherwise lol, and I'm not even trying to romanticize that because it is incredibly lonely and isolating and you rarely have any true support for it or warning beforehand). and ofc that's not a guarantee. there are academics who are reactionary, insecure assholes, too. but yknow. broad overall trends. being forced to advocate for the good aspects of something you disagree with and admit what somebody gets right even if they're wrong in other regards.
so I think there are a lot of people online who do outright lie and claim to have read things that they haven't read (and there's a whole other discussion to be had about how reading it isn't enough by itself, you also need to be able to comprehend what you're reading, and even though they may have read it...). I had that kinda jolted into my awareness a while back when a bunch of people on twitter got mad at me for using the word "privilege" in a way that they disliked, and there were all of these thinkpieces people wrote in my mentions that made it very clear to me that they hadn't read much (if anything) on the concept of privilege, but especially not any of the major baby's first introduction to white privilege 101 type stuff. I don't think any of them had heard of Peggy McIntosh. because the way I used "privilege" was...a very established definition that's used pretty commonly in academic literature, but not necessarily common colloquial discussions. there's been a lot of literature on white privilege especially that talks about how a ton of white privilege isn't solely the additive benefits white people tend to be consciously aware of, but that it's upheld through a vast network of unearned advantages and entitlements that white people are largely unaware they benefit from at all. a ton of white privilege is not simply being given extra stuff, but instead some of it is being exempted from certain types of harm. it's the privilege of being unaware of the struggles other people deal with. there is a blindspot formed there where you are ignorant/blind to what you don't have to deal with.
but, a lot of people who don't engage with that type of literature, get a very different understanding of what the word "privilege" means. in popular culture, you call people privileged for the additive benefits. things you'd have flaunted in your face. things people feel superior about. things like wealth and material possessions and white supremacist rallies. flagrant displays of one's privilege. and you very rarely get exposed to the more nuanced ways privilege is used in basically any academic sphere (which is kinda ironic because that more subtle, unconscious bias etc. aspect seems to be the focal point of a lot of the ways academia discusses privilege; you really can't engage with... nearly any academic lit talking about privilege without at some point learning this definition, it's kinda inescapable honestly).
however, the eye-opening part for me was that a lot of these people who were yelling at me... were those who claimed to be very well-read people. especially when it came to feminism and social justice. especially when it came to the struggles of Black women and intersectionality.
but... they didn't know one of the most common definitions of privilege, as discussed by nearly any piece of literature written about white privilege ever. a definition so commonplace in academic literature that it's realistically only possible for you to somehow be ignorant of this definition... if you didn't actually read any academic literature on privilege at all. so it immediately exposed that these people are liars who likely haven't read any of the theory they claim to have read. that or their reading comprehension is so piss poor that they didn't absorb any of it despite it being spelled out for them. because it was never about intellectual honesty or education or learning or any of these things, it was that they wanted to prop up their supposed knowledge of all of these theories and discussions... as a way to bolster their credibility and shut down anyone who disagreed with them.
a caveat is that I think many of these people have engaged with social media posts about these topics, maybe even for years. and they seem to unironically believe that this is just as educationally productive as reading the texts those posts were based off of. even pre-AI-geddon, people seemed to think this way. I think there are some people who truthfully do believe that they are well-versed on these discourses because they have read a lot of online amateur discussions about it and watched videos about it for a couple of months to years. so not all of them are knowingly lying about having read xyz book or learned xyz theory (even though I think some of them still are knowingly lying and just think they can bullshit well enough that nobody can tell lol... which is why they tend to have an audience + friends filled with people who similarly haven't read any of it and know very little about it, so they can't sniff out that they're full of shit because they too are fairly ignorant on the topic at hand), it's just that they think they don't need to read it because they already know plenty about it from online debates and summaries. and tbh those are probably the most frustrating to deal with because they just do not grasp how big the gap in knowledge actually is.
I've also noticed that a lot of people coming into different topics from a non-academia place seem to really struggle with finding resources for adequate background knowledge, and don't really seem to know how to acquire those for themselves anyhow. so they'll end up finding something interesting and then getting a very one-sided study plan of several articles (typically of varying popularity in the field, some of which are widely refuted and known to be kinda bullshit... but that have a really sensationalized point of interest that plays on the reader's desire to feel like they've uncovered hidden knowledge) that don't actually introduce them to the field in any real way. they just kinda. go down one rabbit hole. and all they know is the rabbit hole. there's no foundation about basic concepts of the field of interest. they can't actually engage in the discourses properly because they don't know anything except for a shit ton about some very narrow focus point. and they become convinced that this means they know all about the field of interest.
I feel mean writing it out in this way, because some of this really isn't these people's fault. it also feels like I'm infantilizing people somewhat or seeing myself as above them somehow. but I don't think I'm better than anyone else; if anything, I recognize this stuff in part because I, too, was once a dumb teenager who thought they knew everything lmao. but on the other hand, there are a lot of reading guides and lists out there that these people have had plenty of access to, and you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. and some of them seem very very obstinate in their desire to remain ignorant (I think some of them are legitimately afraid of being proven wrong, so they avoid reading the actual literature because they don't want to risk the cognitive dissonance that might make them feel a need to change their beliefs).
and even still, they don't need to lie. they don't need to pretend that they've read a bunch of theory when they haven't. but that does mean being able to admit that maybe they don't know everything, and maybe they should listen to people who know more than them, and these types who seem to lie about it are doing it for the status punch of being able to use theory as some sort of thought termination machine to exert their opinions onto everyone else. it's just annoying because like. anyone who knows their shit, knows these people are full of shit and don't actually know what they're talking about. and not all of them have bad thoughts or ideas!! sometimes they bring up good points!! as is natural for any kind of theory based on people's lives and experiences!! you can still observe stuff!!! and write about that!! but oh my god they don't need to larp as an academic when they're not one. they've gotta have some humility, though, and they don't wanna do that. and, probably most obnoxious of all: they outnumber the real ones lol. so they can very easily crowd out actual discussions that are rooted in people who know the actual topic at hand. they can use mob mentality to tell themselves that they're correct, actually. which becomes a self-reinforcing cycle where they are never challenged to wonder if they should read the things they claim to read, because hey everyone is fooled into thinking they have, so clearly they're just that great of an Intellectual⢠that they don't even need to read the real books in order to meaningfully contribute anything. and they get the extra brownie points of being a Good Ally to whatever groups they claim to have read all about! and since everyone else is lying, nobody will call anyone else out on their bullshit, because that could risk revealing their own bullshit.
TLDR; dunning kruger + lying = a lot of the online feminist (and political/social justice oriented) discourse nowadays. a self-made panopticon of incompetent people nodding their heads in agreement to things said by fellow duplicitous incompetent liars, always a little bit anxious.
I just wish they'd stop pretending and we could all move on from it tbh. I'm fine with having discussions with people who aren't academics! just like. have an ounce of humility!! aaaa
the old "all trans people I know are mentally ill to some degree even if I don't believe being trans is itself a mental illness" line is a classic case of torturing you to insanity then torturing you for being insane
hey so trans men are being forcibly detransitioned in prisons in the hopes to preserve their fertility. and the president admitted this but it didnt even start under him its been happening. why arent we talking about this? why isnt this a discussion?
I know I'm trans fem but adding onto this since I'm a felon whose been inside and the issue is actually more fucked than it appears.
Part of why it isn't talked about is because of the method of detransition isn't always so black and white and it gives prisons a way to hide what they're doing. A devious and immoral slight of hand with the beurocracy.
When trans men are OFFERED to be put into the mens section, it's specifically as a threat. It's "Hey, we CAN put you with the other "men" but you know how men are....right? You KNOW how MEN ARE...right?"
There is a threat of rape and exploitation there far above what other inmates experience.
My pod mates were super chill with me being trans. Rules are different and you can't get offended easily, but it was the guards who kept touching me up, it was a guard who stabbed my hand with a pencil and gave me a scar there, and it was a guard who raped me.
So it's not just that trans men are being denied hrt and forcibly detransitioned.
It's that they are being told they have to pick between forced detransition in an environment where it will be AFAB bodied people exploiting them or they stick to their hrt and are in an environment where AMAB bodied people will be exploiting them.
These kinds of threats are big for trans people who are incarcerated. Many prisons and jails avoid it by just putting the person into lock down their entire stay (like me. My cell was 16 hand by 12 hands wide. I could walk my cell wirh 3 large steps. Sucked)
My language is imperfect but I hope my point is coming across that the issue is actually more devious than it comes across
genuinely insane to me that bikinis are the Default swimwear marketed & sold to women. that's nylon underwear. & if you don't want to wear one people treat you like you're childish & insecure & suggest ways to "get over it"
"i feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing what amounts to fast-drying underwear in front of other people, many of them complete strangers" "have you tried gradually acclimating to showing more & more skin? have you tried being more confident? are you ashamed of your body? don't you want to show off your beach bod?" girl what the fuck are you talking about!!!
wearing a bikini is all about confidence & self-love 𼰠but remember to wax all that icky yucky body hair first!!! 𤢠nobody wants to see that đ ââď¸
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I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17âł)Â Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I donât think thatâs a good idea
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they canât show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.Â
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being like âhey this is a good sex toyâ, they instead try to explain why youâd even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually âyour boyfriend/husband sucksâ. or doesnât, I guess.Â
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
one of my favorite things is that when theyâre showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and theyâre ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.Â
[ID: a woman stands in front of a hell landscape cgi. she's talking to someone out of view; "... Not supposed to be here, I'm Hindu, I'm supposed to be reincarnated, I told you this bef-"
She's cut off my a section of Lil Nas X's song Montero, specifically the line "... Me in the the mornin', i'll be on...". As the line plays, she looks to the side down, as if something nearby is falling. The music fades in, gets louder, and fades back out. She pauses after it fades all the way out.
Btw the heat *is* why we see water that's not really there, but mirages aren't exactly hallucinations so much as optical illusions:
It's just the changing density of the air refracting light weirdly, so it looks like there's a reflection of the sky on the ground, which our brains often interpret as a pool of water. It can also happen upwards instead of downwards, especially at sea, when the air is much colder near the surface and a warm front appears above it:
Which, btw, is one possible explanation for ghost ship sightings, so that's fun :)
Without fail, every time a woman is talking about how she does not want to have children and never wants to be pregnant and how medical professionals, romantic interests and family members keep trying to bulldoze her decision and keep expecting her to change her mind because motherhood is something that is expected of all women and it is abhorrent to think a woman could not desire it, a random mother spawns in the comments to be like âWell, actually, you never know! I didnât want children and then I got pregnant and I realized I love being a mama and I have five little babies now! Could happen to you! đĽ°â
Sister, keep that to yourself or make your own goddamn post, you are ignoring that womanâs central concern and belittling her, you donât even think youâre doing it. Formerly childfree women who ended up having children and loving it are like detransitioners in the sense that there is nothing inherently wrong with changing your mind about having children or realizing you were mistaken about your gender identity but immediately weaponizing your indecision to tell people that the barriers to healthcare and the violations of their bodily autonomy and the way society ignores that personâs wishes is actually okay because you were wrong. Some people do know themselves.
Nobody should be leaving it up to chance whether a child gets to grow up in a home where they are truly wanted and where their parents are prepared and committed to having a child.
Like sure, maybe the person COULD change their mind if they had a kid, but the stakes are way too high. Permanent changes to the body and damage to health, long-term change in lifestyle, not to mention the mental health and wellbeing of a whole entire human
When one of my classmates broke my leg in 2nd Grade, there was an entire fiasco and I nearly died but I do remember the guy from radiology storming out to the little curtain area I was in and SLAPPING the X-ray up on the back light and the doctor actually shouting "JE-YAY-SUS! No wonder the kid doesn't have any damn blood!"
i have corneal dystrophy so my corneas will just kind of. tear. for no reason. quite frequently. cause of death: blinked too hard.
so one time i was in the eye hospital (id been there the day before and a junior doc dismissed me entirely as nothing being wrong, sent me off with no treatment, and my optician was Not Having It)
selfsame junior doc eye rolled and, when it was clear i wouldn't be leaving again, begrudgingly called in the consultant who took one glance at one eye, said "oh my god" and sent for a second consultant
who took one look and said "'ive never seen anything like it" and sent for a third
who took a quick look and said "wow. jesus. what a mess" and sent for the fourth etc
(junior doc getting progressively more embarrassed the whole time)
anyway both of my corneas have torn so many times it's apparently just a mess of scar tissue. but if you were wondering what's worse than one doctor exclaiming in surprise with 0 info, its having the entire department do it in succession
after I broke my leg hiking (and walked half a mile or so home on it) I was asked how o RATED MY PAIN 1-10 10 Being worst.
And being very autistic and with maladaptavely high pain threshold I said (reasonig I could walk on it and do things other than beg for a death that wasnt coming) 4.
My radiologist took a look at the x-ray, waved it n my face and said very very firmly "That is not a 4!"
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Google quietly added generative AI capabilities to Google Earth, allowing anyone to generate false images on top of real satellite imagery. It seems pretty rudimentary, but the potential for disinformation is sky-high.
Anyway, did y'all hear that they nuked the White House?
Within the first few hours of its discovery, people on Twitter used this tool to generate an Epstein Island attraction at Disneyland, a mega-prison within Googleâs headquarters, and a sequel to 9/11.
Google has already announced that they will be ârolling backâ this feature because of screenshots like these:
The fact that they want to bring it back with âguardrailsâ is ridiculous. Screenshots like these are not the work of some malign actors, theyâre instant proof that your idea is terrible on its face
I'm at a convention for the game of Go with a friend who is almost 84 years old, and he is constantly being accosted by elementary schoolers who want to play him because every year there is a prize for whoever plays a game with the biggest age difference between players.
People in the tags pointing out that this is a great way to get communities to interact: you are extremely correct. There were a lot of kids at this year's go congress (many of them extremely strong players) and it's very funny to watch them roving in packs looking for old people to challenge. At one point when my friends and I were sitting in one of the side rooms, a trio of elementary schoolers marched in and shouted "IS ANYONE HERE OVER FIFTY?"
Presumably so that they could compete for the Elder Slayer award:
btw if they were writing/filming poi now, they would probably have to acknowledge the current state of ai affairs. but I like to think that it would be like a 5 minute mention. the machine just eats chatgpt for breakfast one day because she's tired of the garbage data that comes out of it. finch buys all of the openais. the agi apocalypse is still on, but with less slop.
I don't know how many poi fans watch it with captions on but there's one episode where bear barks and the captions say "barks in German" and it's like, thanks for trying to be specific, but actually it's well established that bear actually speaks Dutch, not German. fix it.
Once again yelling on my soap box about how you donât GET to love my posts on the beauty and complexity of butch identity and queering masculinity if you donât support trans men and transmasculine people.
Butch identity doesnât just go hand in hand with trans manhood and transmasculinity: they are chosen family, theyâre friends and comrades, lovers and beloved.
If you deny the lived experiences of trans men and transmasculine people you donât get to pretend like you see the beauty in the complexity of butchness.
Fuck you, fuck off, you donât get to claim you love me while you hate my closest kin.
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We don't need martyrs; don't sacrifice yourself, living and being true to yourself is an act of defiance and resistance. Take care of yourselves and each other <3
[image description: a screenshot of a post by wolftearingoffshirt that reads: when you really internalize how central self sacrifice is to the patriarchal female gender role you very quickly begin to realize that the prescription on trans men to prioritize the movement Over their own needs, self expression, and safety (up to and including pressure to keep sexual abuse secret) isn't much of a deconstruction at all /end ID]
âBeing considered a naive young girl who doesnât know whatâs good for her is better than being considered a monster that needs to be killedâ I knew a trans guy who kept getting institutionalised and essentially tortured for expressing his gender identity. I know other trans men who were considered too broken to save so they were honour-killed or locked away in the dark. Can we just admit that neither category affords human beings much grace at all
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