aggressively aromantic

HI STIFFFFF okok. schizophrenic/schizoaffective mark watney. walk with me. him hallucinating being saved. him having delusions that he's on earth or on the hermes and almost killing himself on accident because of it. severe cataplexy episodes when he's trying to drive or do an eva or work on something in the hab and he just has to lay there and wait for it to be over. lots of stereotypy that causes him to have restart things or accident disrupt or break things. him starting to worry he'll think nasa told him to do something they actually didn't and if he follows the orders he thinks he's gotten he'll die or break something imperative. everything being harder or taking longer because things keep being done wrong or not being done on time or at all. it developing on mars so he doesn't really know what's happening to him. he has ideas and suspicions and theories, but he's not sure. and he's scared to tell earth about it cause he wonders if he does they'll just give up on him. him being terrified all the instructions to take apart the mav aren't real and if he goes through with it he'll die on mars.

him not being sure if he's truly being saved (when he actually is) but trying his best anyways cause he still has hope even if he's "been saved" so many times before, but even once he's back on the hermes and everyone's there with him he still isn't sure. him trying to chat with the rest of the crew but disordered speech getting in the way to the point they can't hold a conversation with him sometimes. and also that same disordered thinking and speech making it hard for the crew to communicate with him when they were saving him. and they're worried but at first they think all the negative symptoms (poverty of speech, lack of energy and motivation, flat speech, lack of pleasure in things that used to be enjoyable, lack of interest in socialising and relationships) are just a result of being alone for so long, and then they start noticing the positive symptoms (hallucinations and delusions). him hallucinating that no one else is on the ship and having delusions he's still back on mars. also having delusions that they're all on their way to mars instead of earth.

him not really being explain to beck what he's experiencing cause he just kind of can't talk with people like that anymore (only made worse by the occasional disordered speech) so beck can only help him so much. in the movie-verse he watches all of the video logs over and sees his catatonia and all the times he's talking and just says complete word salad, or starts saying one thing before stopping mid-way through a sentence only to continue saying something else that's completely unrelated. him seeing videos of mark talking to the crew like they're actually there, or hours of footage when he isn't doing anything, not talking or barely moving when he should be working on something. and him seeing it get worse over time.