i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

personal agenda. Personal.

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better

are you really bad at it or are you in "good at it" spaces

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

I’m gonna kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) someone else (remembers murder is bad) on accident (realizes it’s not an accident if I say I’m gonna do it) and I know because I’m from the future (remembers lying is bad) no I’m not (feels guilty) I’m so so sorry (remembers actions speak louder than words) (does a backflip)

drinking wikipedialyte until i have the sum of all human knowledge

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Holy fucik

I always reblog this because it never fails to actually make me snort

according to my german-born/speaking boyfriend: Above the eight fortes in that Fucik piece it says “Nichts fuer Lauwarmduscher” which is “this is not for people who take lukewarm showers”

confirmed, and at the end it says “kein langsamer werden” which roughly translates to “don’t you fucking slow down or else”

I want to know what comes before ‘Instrument husten zu wollen’ which implies that someone wants to cough into the instrument

Winged eyeliner

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

happy first day of pride everyone

Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.

Reblog to shrimp check your mutuals

joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.

And this is a perfect illustration of why it is important for kids to read or variety of things, and why abusers don’t want them to.