A Kingdom Or This

I love this website so much

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

everyone is always asking me “why didn’t you break the cycle” “why did you become the thing you once sought to destroy” “how come you didn’t end this oppressive rule” blah blah blah but nobody asks stuff like “hey how was killing your abuser and finally gaining power back?” nobody asks me “hey how was it watching the thing that once haunted and hunted you vanish before your eyes? was it fun? it looked fun” and it WAS fun btw. if you even care

the humble tank top has done so much for homosexual women

5 great things about having a wound 1) the wound is a memory or how you earned it, if something bad happened you can use this to steel your resolve, if something good happened this serves as a lovely reminder 2) someone might care for your wound, yay! 3) if nobody else cares for your wound, you can have a tender moment with yourself to clean and dress it 4) you can often press on your wound in some manner that will make it hurt just a little bit, this is good! 5) having wounds makes you sexier, obviously

Thunderstorms are nature’s most fuckable events

what they don't tell you is that a well-written fic can get you to ship anything, and i mean ANYTHING. notp? not anymore. you will stay up late thinking about and crying over them for the rest of your life. characters you don't even know from a piece of media you've never engaged with? fuck it, they belong to you now. problematic ship that you loved to hate and now just love to love, that you must never tell your friends about? don't worry, ao3 knows how to keep a secret. like. a well-written fic will have you acting UP and that's a fact baby !!