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Gustav Klimt, Death and Life, 1915
lord help me because i canāt stop saying āi may have girlbossed too close to the sunā to myself whenever i do literally anything
okay well now I will be too
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Thank you, angel who made this.
YOU GUYS THIS SO BEAUTIFUL I WANT TO CRY THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. IT MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY.
Important post for fuckās sake!
iām thinking tonight about masterpieces. michelangelo looked at the sixtine chapel and saw; nothing to preserve. virgil wanted his aenid burned and forgotten; only to be saved at the behest of an emperor who thought it flattery. kafka instructed his friend to burn everything heād ever written - too personal was it, too unfinished.
they were ignored.
instead, their work was taken and held and published and thrown to be gawked at. instead, an emperor, a pope, a friend, took from within the cavities of them their choices; their art.
tumblr rolls out post+. twitter rolls out tip jars. youtube takes half of what creators earn. on social media, there is a ko-fi or a patreon and a polished face in every bio. i show my poems to my mother and she asks if I will publish them before she says anything else. emily dickinson instructed her sister to burn her poetry.
her sister did not listen.
we are a community, says tumblr, we should give back to creators. my last poem had 50 notes. six of those were reblogs that werenāt mine. i lie in bed at 2am and stare at my bright phone screen and the way netflixās library grows thinner and thinner. the first ad on tumblr that i can reblog is for amazon. amazon takes more than half of what authors earn.
kafkaās friend took barely finished work and hammered it into structure. he is the only reason we know of him.
my father wrote a book and a play when I was barely big enough to reach his knees. when i try to talk to him about writing, he shrugs.
no one wanted to publish it, he says. so i donāt write anymore.
i am filled with poems I have never published, books I havenāt written. There are little snippets of them scattered throughout my life. I link to my ko-fi on my tumblr.
-
asked capitalism of the artist: what is art, if not for consumption? who does art benefit, if it is not consumed? why create at all if you do not market it? who are you, frothing at the mouth about someone publishing someone elseās poems? who are you to hate your magnum opus? what is art, if not in relation to its reception? if no one sees it, how is it art?
said the artist, baring their teeth: itās mine.

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The entire concept of "camp" and its relationship to gay people is hilarious. like yeah gays have just always loved lame shit that sucks
I don't know if you know what camp is
obviously it's lame shit that sucks
Is camp a fandom I should be glad I missed out on?
It's a 'fashion' movement lol. It's about wearing big things that clash with each other, kinda. (Think about drag queens, they're kinda camp, i think)
Loving all these white gays erasing the history of queerness because they think itās edgy.Ā
Drag queens are not ākind of campā - drag queens invented camp. Drag queens are camp. Camp is how gay men (and women! lesbians and wlw can also be camp!) expressed themselves and learned to love themselves in the late 1800s and early 1900s when the crackdowns on homosexuality made those things dangerous.
Camp is meant to be queer, subversive.
āCamp is, or should be, by its very nature, political subversive, and revolutionary.ā
Camp is not your tackyness. Camp is not for you to denegrate. Camp is where the drag balls in Harlem originated, Camp is where gay men learn to love themselves for being completely out of the norms of what traditional heteronormativity wants from them. Camp is where we try on and take off genders like theyāre fashion trends we donāt have time for.
The lack of care that a lot of people have on here for queer history drives me up the fucking wall.
Camp is also about drawing attention to the demanding categories of identity that we are expected to perform, and that we often accept without question. What is high art, and why are some things ātackyā? To whom are they tacky? What do we gain by seeing aesthetics through a gaze other than our own?
Drag specifically is not really about impersonating females, but about impersonating The Femaleā exploring and performing the very height of this stylized, ritualized womanhood. Or, in the case of drag kings, doing the same with stylized ideas of what it is to be A Man. The campness is in the head-on refusal to take as given any definition of what is acceptable.
In some places, "camp" also occupies the semantic place that "femme" does, including its link as the aesthetic opposite to "butch". So it's real great that everyone is like "femme is a lesbian only term" (tell that to the "no fats no femmes" guys on grindr lol) and then also making shit up about the term that comes from mlm to describe the phenomenon. Almost like these people just don't give a shit about mlm or our place in LGBT+ history at all.
I'm living for @theorangedead 's tag
bestie is just becoming the chiller version of comrade
we have nothing to lose but our chains, bestie
My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:
Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.
I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for beingĀ āsoftā or some crap like that.
My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT
She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar
My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the Kingās college, as a lord!!
My girlfriend and I talk a lot about our different generations of queerness, because she was doing queer activism in the 1990s and I wasnāt.
And sheās supportive of my writing about queerness but also kind of bitter about how quickly her entire generationās history has disappeared into a blandĀ āAIDS was bad, gay marriage solved homophobiaā narrative, and now weāre having to play catch-up to educate young LGBTQ+ people about queer history and queer theory. It gets pretty raw sometimes.
I mean, a large part of the reason TERFs have been good at educating the young and queer people havenāt is, in the 80s and 90s the leading lights of TERFdom got tenured university positions, and the leading lights of queerdom died of AIDS.
āExcuse us,ā she said bitterly the other day, not at me but toĀ me, āfor not laying the groundwork for children we never thought weād have in a future none of us thought weād be alive for.ā
āthe reason TERFs have been good at educating the young and queer people havenāt is, in the 80s and 90s the leading lights of TERFdom got tenured university positions, and the leading lights of queerdom died of AIDS.ā
thank you for giving me a good reason to finish my dissertation and try to make it in the academy
Wait, idk LGBTQ+ history, but they died of AIDS cause, what, hospitals refused to treat them or�
Oh heck yeah.
When an epidemic happens, public health agencies spend millions of dollars trying to understand what happens: Why are people sick or dying? What caused it? Who else is at risk? Government health departments like the Centres for Disease control and private companies both invest hundreds of millions of dollars into preserving public health. This happened in 1977, when military veterans who all attended the same gathering began to get sick with a strange type of pneumonia, with 182 cases and 29 dead, and the CDC traced the illness to a bacterium distributed by the air conditioning system of a hotel they all stayed at, andĀ in 1982, when seven people died of tainted Tylenol, and pharmaceutical companies changed the entire way their products were made and packaged to prevent more deaths.
Meanwhile, the AIDS epidemic took six years to be recognized by the CDC (1975-1981) because at first the only people dying were intravenous drug users, which is to say, heroin addicts; when it wasĀ recognized, President Reaganās government pressured the CDC to spend as little time and money on AIDS as possible, because they literally didnāt think gay lives were important. So yes, hospitals refused to treat them and medical staff treated them as disgusting people who deserved to die, but also, there was very little funding for scientists to understand what this disease was, what caused it, where it came from, how it spread, or how to stop it. The LGBTQ+ community had to organize and fight to get hospitals to treat them, to fund scientific research, to be legally allowed to buy the drugs that kept them alive, and to have access to treatment. An effective treatment for AIDS wasnāt found until 1995.
And itās ongoing; a lot of the difficulty of fighting AIDS in Africa is that itās seen asĀ āthe gay diseaseā (and thanks to European colonialism, even African societies that used to be okay with us were taught to think LGBTQ+ people are bad).Ā Even now that we have medications that can treat or prevent AIDS, theyāre incredibly expensive and hard to get; in 2015, New York businessman Martin Shkreli acquired the exclusive right to make a drug that treats an AIDS-related disease, and raised its price from $13.50 a pill to $750 a pill.Ā
Hereās one history on what it was like to have and fight AIDS, one history on how politicians responded to the epidemic, and if you can get a copy of the documentary How to Survive a Plague,Ā itās a good introduction, because itās about how AIDS patients had to fight for their lives. A lot of these histories are imperfect and incomplete, because privilege played a big part in whose lives and deaths were seen as importantāPoor people, people of colour, trans people, and drug addicts were less likely to be able to afford or access medical care, and more likely to die without being remembered; histories often tend to focus on straight people who got AIDS through no fault of their own, and then white cis gay men who seem moreĀ ārespectableā andĀ ārelatableā.Ā Ā
I mean, people who will talk about how homophobia led to neglect of AIDS stillĀ find ways not to mention that AIDS isnāt just sexually transmitted; itās hugely a disease of drug addicts, because sharing needles is a huge way the disease spreads. But because society always thinks, oh, drug addicts are bad and disgusting people and of course criminals, that often gets neatly dropped from the histories, and itās stillĀ hard to get people to agree to things that keep drug addicts alive, like needle exchanges and supervised injection sites. But if you want my rant about how the war on drugs is bullshit used to control poor people and people of colour, and drugs shouldnāt be criminalized, youāll have to ask for that separately.
They died of AIDS because
Hospitals refused to treat them, and when they did get admitted, treated them like dirt so their will-to-live was eroded - refused to let long-term partners visit them, staff acted like they were disgusting nuisances, etc.
Very little funding was put into finding causes or cures - AIDS was consideredĀ āgodās punishmentā for immoral behavior by a whole lot of people.
Once causes were understood (effective treatments were a long ways off), information about those causes werenāt widely shared - because it was aĀ āsex diseaseā (it wasnāt) and because a huge number of the victims were gay or needle-drug users, and the people in charge of disease prevention (or in charge of funding) didnāt care if all of those people just died.
Not until it started hitting straight people and superstar celebrities (e.g. Rock Hudson) did it get treated as A Real Problem - and by that time, it had reached terrifying epidemic conditions.
Picture from 1993:
We lost basically a whole generation of the queer community.
As a current AIDS survivor, this is really important information. I was diagnosed not only HIV positive in 2014, but I had already progressed to an AIDS diagnosis. Knowing how far weāve come with treatment and what the trials and tribulations of those who came before cannot and must not ever be forgotten. Awareness is the number one goal. I often speak to the microbiology students at my university to explain what itās like to live with, how the medications work, side effects, how itās affected my daily life, and just raise general awareness.
Before my diagnosis, I, like many others, was clueless to how far treatment has come. I was still under the belief my diagnosis was a death sentence. Moving forward, even if only one person hears my story, thatās one more person thatās educated and can raise awareness.
I believe itās time for us as a society to start better education of this disease. The vast majority of the people Iāve spoken to are receptive to the knowledge of my status, and Iāve received lots of support from loved ones, friends, and total strangers. Itās time to beat the stigma.
This is slightly off-point, but as for the cost, I wanted to mention that some pharmacies have specialties that let them get special coupons/programs and stuff to save money.
A bottle of Truvada (a month supply commonly used for treating this) is at least $3,000 out of pocket and insurance doesnāt usually take a lot off of that. But the pharmacy I work at is an HIV specialty and we always get te price down to less than $10.
If youāre on HIV meds and theyāre ludicrously expensive, ask your local pharmacy manager if there are any local HIV specialty pharmacies that they know of. They might be able to help.
I think itās important to emphasize that, while the diagnosis is no longer a death sentence, it is also true that people dying of AIDS because of homophobia is not history only.
My brotherās first boyfriend was kicked out/disowned by his parents for being queer, got AIDS, couldnāt afford treatment, and died.Ā He died in 2019, at around 20 years old.
In 2019.
Barely more than a kid.
Of a treatable disease.
Because of homophobia.
Because his parents cared more about not being associated with a queer person than they cared about their sonās literal life.
AIDS is not just history.Ā Neither is homophobia.
Back to history: When AIDS patients held die-ins, they went to hospitals, lay down in front of them, and literally waited to die.
If youāre young & either queer or queer-adjacent, think about the number of people out of the closet you know your own age & think about how many you know your parents age. Theyāre not stamping us out of the mould any quicker these days than in the ā60s, except in lockstep with population growth. I think, growing up, my picture of relative numbers of queer people & straights was unavoidably impacted by the number of empty seats at our table. That might be the case for you too. The number of elders you never got to meet.
Remember this when people talk about how small the LGBTQIA+ population is. That itās āsuch a small percentage of the population to be catered tooā. Remember this and tell them, āthatās because homophobia killed themā.
This picture of the San Francisco Gay Menās Chorus is often included with the āThe men facing the camera/in white are the surviving membersā but it leaves out something extremely important:
By 1996, all of the men facing the camera in the picture were dead.
Every.
Single.
One.
Eric Luse, the photographer, said this in a more recent article :
By 1996 the obituary list was almost 50 names longer than the entire choral roster. All of the positions plus four dozen more, gone. The obituary list continued to grow, too. The cost and availability of any treatments in the mid-late 90s continued to cause more death.
If you were queer in the 80s and 90s, you knew someone who had it and knew people who died from it. Period. I cannot stress the impact this had on the queer community and those of us who were alive at the time, and I know the scope of it is almost unimaginable to younger people today.
By 1996, there were NO surviving original members of the SFGMC. You need to know that when you see this picture.
Dozens of the men turned away from the camera here in this shot were also dead alongside the men in white. It is vital to recognize that.
There is no hope in this picture, it isnāt a display of a lucky few who avoided death. There is no āWell at least some of them survivedā because no, they didnāt, and this time was so fucking bleak and painful itās astonishing that anything got done. Theyād march one week and die the next. Their friends would bury them in the morning and march in the afternoon. This went on for years.
Bigotry and hate and ignorance killed generations of queer people. It speaks to the sheer resilience of the community that from that all but state-sanctioned genocide, we have gained so much ground in the last few decades. Much is owed to the people who refused to stay quiet and who fought even on their deathbeds, so please consider learning about LGBTQ+ history as a way of continuing the fight and showing respect. Many of us coming of age at that time didnāt have that opportunity, and made it a point to learn and get involved as teenagers and young adults because we saw what we were losing.
Sing for two.
My fave part of this post is the repeated usage of the word āqueerā. In a discussion about the hatred of LGBT people and how they were left to die by the government, itās always a great idea to call them all a slur. Can you switch it up a bit and use āfagā next time?
Thereās a really obvious reason why weāre using āqueerā.
When talking about LGBTQ+ history, often we have to be really careful with the language we use, because how we understand things now is not how the people weāre talking about understood themselves at the time. We end up using phrases like, āPeople who we would now understand as gay or lesbianā or āexperiences which modern transgender people often identify withā.
In this case? Itās because thatās the word they used.
(Many of them also used the words āfagā or ādykeā, but āqueerā is more inclusive.)
When I talk about āthe leading lights of queernessā I mean Queer Nation. I mean the people who contributed to Queer Theory. I mean people who deliberately chose to use that word. I mean me and my ex-girlfriend. We exist.
During the AIDS crisis especially, homophobia was so bad that a lot of people didnāt want to be known by any word associated with the gay community: Not gay, not homosexual, not queer, not anything. Epidemiologists had to create the category of āmen who have sex with menā because there was literally no existing term that didnāt carry the weight of a slur. The purpose of using the word āqueerā was for people to say, āLetās stop running from the things society is calling us; letās pick up the weapons theyāve hurled at us and start hurling them back. There is no level of socially acceptable we can be that will make them suddenly decide our lives matter. Weāre here, weāre queer, get used to it.āĀ It meant very specifically embracing and defending their/our marginalized position.
Every word weāve ever been known by has been a slur. We all have our own histories and flinch reactions. I grew up with āgayā and ālezzoā being used really hatefully around me, as well as āqueerā and ādykeā and āfagā, and I have different comfort levels with all those different words.
/shrug emoji You can dislike the word all you like and ask that it not be used for you. But historically and today, a lot of us do use it for ourselves, and we constitute āthe queer communityā or āqueerdomā. Which we donāt think is a bad thing. If you donāt want to join us, fine, but that doesnāt make us stop existing, and any other word you can call us would also be a slur, because our community is predicated on saying, āWe are that thing youāre so afraid of. Get used to it.ā

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I love people with obscure knowledge or useless academic insights. I want to hear your analysis of lighting in Ratatouille. Tell me about the history of soda pop or the references to classical mythology in Macbeth. I want to know about the underlying homoerotic context of that 1930s sci-fi paperback. I think all knowledge is worthwhile knowledge. Explain to me the ecosystems that komodo dragons inhabit. Donāt be afraid to learn for the sake of learning.
i wanted to respond to this post with something crude, crass, and subversive likeĀ āwhat people shouldnāt be afraid of learning is that my ass is tremendousā but this post was made really earnestly so I havenāt the heart to trample on its sentiment or crush it under the weight of something like, say, my enormous asscheeks, as that would be very meanspirited, like someone breaking someoneās bones with their gigantic buttocks just to prove that their dump truck of a rear was truly one of a kind in girth and force
why donāt you go ahead and shatter my quivering heart under the sheer mass of your dump truck of an ass babe
what do you think dark academia could look like in Asia, both visually and academically? also, here's a bad pick up line: are you rice? cos you get me up in the morning
Firstly, bad pickup lines are literally my thing so thankyou.
so I can only really speak to south Asia but i hope there something in there for everyone.Ā
sliced fruits and tea while you study
takings rikshaws to class
bleached white uniforms and polished shoes
studying on the roof on a sunny day listening to the street noises
street food with friends
fountain pens and perfect handwriting
late nights studying without coffee
studying through repetition and reading
teachers who point with their middle finger
full bookshelves of textbooks and class readings full annotated
hanging out with local stray cats
as a pretentious Bengali, please allow me to add
richly annotated books of the poems of Tagore
exchanging political ideas with friends over cigarettes
a big book thatās falling apart that you carry anyway
taking breaks from studying to watch old black and white movies by Satyajit Ray
protesting in university campuses
waking up late on a Sunday to the smell of food cooking after a long night of studying
spending afternoons buying second hand books
absorbed in reading on an old tram in Old Calcutta
words can change the world
Hey! Pretentious Pakistani here:
Listening to Noor Jahan on your grandadās radio from the 70ā²s
Reading Faiz Ahmed Faiz while sitting on a charpai thatās on the roofĀ
Drinking Chai in a white cotton shalwar kameezĀ
Secretly smoking at the Quaidās Mazar
Attending a political rally or sit-in
Digging through your great-auntās storage to find a copy of the Pakistan Declaration in perfect condition.
reading Keatās while balancing yourself on your brotherās motorcycle while he weaves through Karachiās traffic, trying to get you to university on time.
āBorrowingā your grandmaās pillazo pants and Granddadās shirt from the 70ā²s and then āborrowingā their Volkswagen beetle
As a super pretentious indian muslim, here is my input:
ā¢going to the anti NRC-CAA rallies and sit ins regularly.
ā¢wandering in the dusty book filled lanes of college street.
ā¢sipping sweet tea, at dawn, while reading the Quran.
ā¢"borrowing" Babaās bottles of ittar.
ā¢reading Tagore, Begum Ruqaiya, the communist manifesto, the Hindus:an alternative history among banned literature.
ā¢sitting in your grand dadās library, every time you visit his place, even if it has not changed one bit in the past 16 years youāve been visiting him.
ā¢sipping bhaad wali chai after your routine morning walks.
ā¢taking the tram to school/university.
ā¢wandering around the national library after sunset( itās supposed to be haunted).
ā¢carrying a copy of the Quran EVERYWHERE.
ā¢discussing politics over cigarettes.
ā¢dressing up in a lehenga at home, just because you felt like it.
@theparistimes
Love this!! As someone who has only experienced academia in the western world, these are so fun to read.
a somewhat pretentious and chaotic indian hindu here (iām new to tumblr, sorry if there are any formatting errors :/)
pulling all-nighters for days and making yourself a cup of āadrak wali chaiā at 2 am.
embracing your dark circles (because you canāt be bothered trying to hide them anyways)
no playlist is ever complete without kishore kumar, mohd rafi, rahat fateh ali khan and lata mangeshkar.Ā ākhoya khoya chaandā at 3 am? yes pls.Ā
opting for stem majors because your parents wanted you to but secretly having aĀ ālove affairā with history, politics and literature.
wearing your motherās saree and finding comfort and warmth within its drapes.
incarnate mehendi designs on your hands.
having read the geeta, mahabharata, ramayana, vedas and the upnishads and analyzing it so many times that now you know it better than your grandma.Ā
philosophizing about the meaning of life, about karma, about religion, about everything.
tagore. everything about tagore.
getting into heated political debates with friends.
knowing at least 2-3 languages before you start primary school.
studying sanskrit. that in itself makes you feel connected to the world of academia. imagine learning a language that was spoken by our ancestors, thousands of years ago. the language of history. amazing.
wearing your dadiās jewelry for the sake of nostalgia
oh and wearing your motherās watch because āsentimentā
speaking of nostalgia and sentiment ā going through old photo albums still saved in your motherās almirah.
Ā white kurtis and pashmina shawls in winter is a mood.
knowing a great deal about architecture, thanks to being surrounded by historical monuments all around.
I donāt if I would fall into the category of dark academia but here I would like to include (Indian girl adding some extra points):
Walking on the old streets (some second hand book market, whoever is from Delhi must be knowing Daryaganj) and looking for cheap and old second hand books. The yellow pages and the peculiar smell š wondering how many people would have read it
Dressing up in kurta or cotton tunics with jeans
Hair in a bun or loose, whatever, you will look nerdy all the time. With jooti or my favourite sneakers .
Chai all the time
Going and visiting old monuments and learning about their history
You can probably hang out alone or with a few people who really enjoy your conversation
Reading mythology books and sankrit @caelesti-x Indeed yes!
Learning about as God and goddesses we have and why we celebrate the particular festival ( I am still not able to understand everything)
Opening the old cartons full of your highschool books and college books as well as extra novels ( I donāt have a separate cupboard for so many old books ofcourse so i keep them in carton on top storage shelf š¬
You cannot run away from tje political talks. If something is happening somewhere, discussio can start anytime, anywhere and with anyone.
In winters, you sit on the terrace in sun, with peanuts and salt, tea and a book! I even study like that during exams.
My bagpack is always heavy like I am carrying two lehninger everytime.
You read tagore, gulzar, kabir and so many other good written works out there.
And read about Indian scientists like CV Raman, Ms swaminathan, SN Bose, Hargobind khorana
Handwritten notes and the fright of spilling water over ink pen written notes.
I guess yes, That is all. But no idea if that is a bit off track answer. I am mixed academia. š¼š
Love this! As a Bengali who grew up in different parts of India, can I add
Learning to read and write English and Hindi before being taught Bengali by your mother
Carrying around Sukumar Rayās Abol Tabol anyway, just to feel closer to the words you couldnāt yet read
Going back to hometown on holidays and realising you speak a weird mix of Bengali, Hindi and English.
Books being an integral part of your upbringing. Perks of having bookish parents and grandparents
Spending afternoons in a room full of people, everyone reading something different, occasionally reading a paragraph aloud for everyone to listen.
Cha. Just so much cha. With adda of course. It may or may not take a political turn. Just kidding, it always takes a political turn.
Studying history and feeling goosebumps when visiting old monuments in Delhi
Inheriting books and saris from your grandparents. Seeing annotations your grandfather made on a book he read when he was your age or draping your grandmotherās sari to your graduation to feel connected to her.
Explaining to your parents you want to study history and not science and getting emotional when they are fully supportive.
Explaining to your other family members that no you donāt want to sit for UPSC just because you studied Humanities
(Forced) music lessons and thus growing up with a love/hate relationship with Tagore until reading his books as an adult and grumpily admitting that yes, heās actually brilliant.
Durga Pujo starts with a string of Pujobarshiki. Waiting a whole year to read what Shirshendu Mukhopadhyay and Nobonita Deb Sen have cooked up for you this year.
Embracing both the tweed jacket and the kashmiri shawl in winters.
Boroline. The magic ointment that heals everything. For the things that boroline doesnāt heal, thereās Tagore.
Summertime (1955) dir. David Lean
Yes I AM cranky because I received NO PROPHETIC DREAMS to help me on my quest.
Roger Ebert just destroying some specific kind of nerd(s).Ā

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Assorted Details Of Street Fashion, In Distinction To Japanās Harujuku District (1996-1999) Scanned By: @zerocoolarchive
This is fromĀ āOld Gays Try Grindrā and iām dying