I love poodles

Honestly I should just make a new blog and start over and leave this one up as a museum...

I follow way too many people on here and no offense but most of you do not post good nor do you reblog good lol. Which wouldn't be a problem if this site had a mute feature like X the everything app, where I can have a good timeline and not have to hurt peoples feelings, but alas...

Last night I had a dream where I experienced like actual divine presence and awe in the glory of god with an insane vividness and intensity of emotion and when I woke up I was like Damn white wine gives me stupid ass dreams, I hate religion and the concept of god!! funny to think that if I were a different person in a different time that shit probably would have made me go pull a Taiping rebellion or some mormon shit. Yeah whatever man I also experienced full contentment with death and true inner peace in the k-hole but that shit wears off quick I was laughing at smiling friends on the tv minutes after I came to. Love that I'm actually smarter than Paul of Tarsus

Have you all been having a femboy vs transfeminist war this whole time I've been gone

oh goodie I got transported into a Mormon yuri. I'm a first year transfer student to the Nephi Halicarnassus Girls' Academy I'm running late to reformed Egyptian class with toast in my mouth! Oh fuck I bumped into the class president in the hall and now I'm flashing my temple garments as I comedically fall over...... Omg the class president is sharing a dirty soda from Swig with me..... From the same straw, an indirect kiss.... "Baka, you got Crumbl on your face," she says wiping the cookie from my cheek with her finger........

Did you hear they're making a sequel to Driving Miss Daisy called "Pozzing Ray Blanchard"

yo mama so fat instead of "good morning" she says "food morning"

My favorite character in The Pitt is Dr. Whitaker because he's just like you and me... but he's homeless! He's homeless!! As he stands there singing for money, 🎵ladadadee ladadadaaa ladadadee ladadadaaa🎵

Groundhog day is proof that within every white American there is still a bog-dwelling neanderthal that yearns to slather themselves with woad and partake in a little ritualistic animal divination

General, the TSPussyHunters have engaged the enemy's light infantry in skirmish and their incessant rain of arrows from horseback have given us an ideal window of opportunity to break the enemy's left flank. Victory will soon be ours. Your diplomatic overtures toward the TSPussyHunter nomads of the steppes have proven most fruitful indeed...

We loved each other like sisters when we rode the Eurasian steppe together. I held you and dried your tears beneath your father's kurgan and then you left me for the Indus river valley. All I knew to do was ride until I stopped crying. It took me all the way to central Europe and now I've buried the fathers of the Corded Ware Culture in shallow graves and the sons and daughters wear a yoke of Proto Indo-European bronze, but I know all the thralls and head of cattle in the world will never bring you back to me. My love, have you built the great city of Mahenjo-daro? Are you raising her walls higher? Are you bringing in the grain-grass harvest and digging the water-ways deeper and building magnificent crafts of bronze and gold? Will I ever see you again? Are you happy, are you healthy? My wails bring no answer, but we sleep beneath the same moon and stars and you call them by the same name, and the same sky-father horse-god smiles upon us from a world apart.