you trying to figure out my blogs lore? Good luck

Why did I queue this for February 29 2024

happy 12th birthday none pizza with left beef

Happy 13th birthday none pizza with left beef

Happy 14th Birthday none pizza with left beef

this is your only day to reblog this for a year

i missed my chance last year so this has been in my queue for 364 days

Hrh

Eg

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

Special Event: All Horses' Birthday (Northern Hemisphere only)

Every summer this post starts getting notes again lol

tomorrow

Always reblog NSYNC the day before May

Queueing this for next year

Scheduled for 11:59pm, April 30th, 2021. Future me, I hope the quarantine ended quickly and safely so you can actually enjoy May this time.

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

Hell yeah earth day

Happy earth day 2022

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

happy 4/20

This plays out like a Wattpad fic

my thoughts exactly 

FUCKING HELL IT’S BACK FROM LAST YEAR

This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. It’s almost two years old. It’s beautiful.

listen up ya’ll this post is 6 years old now and you’re still reblogging it. every month. once a month, my notifications blow up for this one video, but only until the 16th. then the notes on this vid completely stop. it’s so eerily spot on and impressive how you just all collectively know what to do. if I’m not online, people irl still remind me that it’s the 15th. thank you for six surreal years of me wondering if I completely fucking lost it. here’s to the 15th

it’s time

ITS NOT TIME ITS FUCKING MARCH I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS

it’s time

I have a feeling someone had this queued for an entire year just so they could post this in march

I T S T I M E

ITS TIME

IT’S MARCH YOU ANIMALS

IT’S LITERALLY MARCH 8TH 2017 THE FUCK IS THIS DOING ON MY DASH

it’s time.

Time

INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY

>??>?>??

CREPPY

It’s MARCH!!!

MARCH 2020 BOISSSS

Chaos is my middle name

March 2021 here we go

it’s spoopy time! :D considering putting my halloween decor back up just for the meme lmao

It’s time!!!!!!!!

ITS TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

you liTTLE FUCKERS ITS MARCH

It’s Darkleblub.

ITS MARCH

Ok but that first tag, Elrond is literally a flat earther in canon

As an asthmatic, this was critical advice. It can also be helpful to splash cold water on the back of your neck or forehead, which helps distract you from the panic. 

If you are having issues with what it feels like breathing in a mask, practice in a calm environment where you feel relaxed, and if you can’t get it to be ok, try different masks.

Acknowledging that people’s feelings are real and offering realistic nonjudgmental options to alleviate those feelings instead of dismissing them, lecturing them and assuming bad faith? Apparently that’s still a possible way we can act. Who knew.  

I can’t do cloth masks for this reason, but the disposable paper masks are just fine for me. No panicking, I feel like I can breathe just fine, so my wife gets all the cloth masks and I use paper ones. I have no idea why the cloth masks cause me to panic and nearly hyperventilate, but I’m glad we realized it pretty early on. 

The fact that they’re still tight about this after all these years is so funny to me like they must think about it every single day

"Harassing someone non-stop for months, including graphic sexual harassment and disturbing baseless accusations of child abuse, is funny as long as I think the victim is annoying!" -a lot of people, apparently

the world needs more women with facial and body hair. its so so important we especially need more women with facial hair

this is so unbelievably especially true about trans women btw. if ur a trans woman with facial hair and body hair im cheering so fucking loud thank u for ur service ur stunning ur gorgeous ur amazing

Worth it.

I’m sorry I might sound like a madwoman for going on a rant about this but man, it’s… I don’t know how to express it but just the thought of some person, 120 years ago, taking a photo of their cat, which back then wasn’t easy - they didn’t have phones with cameras, each photo required a lot of time and dedication, so not only the person “wasted” a whole photo on their cat, they also did their fricking best to save this photo and carefully put it into an envelope to preserve it so that people in the future will know that there was this cat and it looked like this and it’s owner thought the cat looked lovely that day so much that they decided to take a photo of it and then they loved the photo so much that they went out of their way to preserve it for future generations like “hello people from the future! this is what my cat loos like!” because they loved their cat so much they wanted people from the future to know about it is… crazy to me… and here we are, 120 years later, long after the cat and it’s owners passed away, looking at an old photo of a cat and gushing about it. The cat died so long ago and wouldn’t even know it existed if not for the owner that loved their cat so much that they decided this photo was worth preserving and put it into a time capsule. and seeing now how people dedicate whole blogs to their cats and take countless pictures of them just to show to other people really hits because you realize that in the end, people from today aren’t that much different from people that were 120 years ago. We all just love our cats and want people to look at them.

I bet this woman was imagining the photo may be seen by like… a family some day. But no. It survived till the age of the internet. It has now transcended the original media. It is now being seen by far more eyes in far more places than the media she chose would normally allow. I hope the taker of this 120 year old photo is PROUD.