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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
dirt enthusiast

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor
h
Cosmic Funnies
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
YOU ARE THE REASON
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms
Mike Driver
RMH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
d e v o n

if i look back, i am lost

blake kathryn
tumblr dot com

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@vann-haal
collection

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"Punishment works!!!" We're drowning in three to four generations of people so pants-shittingly terrified of ever being wrong that half of everyone has constructed a worldview wherein they never even consider the possibility that they could be wrong and the other half behaves like one wrong move will make anything or anyone explode violently into a million irreperable pieces. I don't think it works guys
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
Advanced maneuvers
Schmovement
You’re completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.

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Ok this is kinda funny but imagine being surrounded by people who sound like this. The French language was a mistake in the first place but combining it with English…. abomination
@033h we’ve been saying
“toc toc toc toc you are now a porcupicicle”
to hear the québécois pronunciation of montreal in its original “muh-ray-aul” and as if it’s one syllable. perfect
“directement above your appartement”
swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad
full shakespearean tragedy but it's entirely focused on how a girl needs to go to bed because she has work in five hours
three hours
This is about the sexiness of The Golden Girls but I really feel the need to remind the world of how fucking progressive this show was.
In the episode 72 hours, we find out Rose may have contracted AIDs during an emergency gallbladder surgery.
Rose: Why me, Blanche? I'm tired of pretending I feel okay so you won't say, 'Take it easy', and I'm tired of you saying 'Take it easy' because you're afraid I'm going to fall apart. Dammit, why is this happening to me? I mean, this isn't supposed to happen to people like me. You must've gone to bed with hundreds of men. All I had was one innocent operation. Blanche: Hey, wait a minute! Are you saying this should be me and not you? Rose: No! No, I'm just saying that I am a good person. Hell, I'm a goody-two-shoes! Blanche: AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose, it is not God punishin' people for their sins!
In Isn't it romantic? we find out Dorothy's childhood best friend is a lesbian who recently lost her partner. She confesses she has feelings for Rose. Rose turns her down but makes it clear that she still wants to be friends even though she doesn't return those feelings.
Sophia: Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs.
Jean: Rose, about last night. I should never have said anything. Rose: You only said what you were feeling. Jean: It's just that this last year has been so difficult for me. Pat was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. And when she died, I just felt so terribly alone. Empty. I thought I could never care for anyone again. Until I met you. I just got very confused. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. Rose: Well, I have to admit that I don't understand these kinds of feelings. But if I did understand, if I were, you know, like you, I'd be very flattered and proud that you thought of me that way.
Ebbtide's Revenge gives us Phil's funeral, and Sophia addressing him wearing women's clothes.
Rose: So what if he was different? It's okay that you loved him. Sophia: I did love him. He was my son, my little boy. But every time I saw him I wondered what I did, what I said, when was the day I did whatever I did to make him the way he was. Angela Petrillo: What he was Sophia, was a good man.
Sister of the Bride, where Blanche's brother Clayton brings his boyfriend to town, because they're planning on getting married.
Blanche: Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know? Sophia: Why did you marry George? Blanche: We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Wanted everybody to know. Sophia: That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?
There are so many episodes I could sit here and quote but this show is still so important. It isn't perfect, there are jokes that definitely don't land that I will not sit here and defend, but in the context of when it was created? This show is a fucking masterpiece and deserves respect for that.
And this was during the Reagan/Bush years.
I think that this show hit as hard as it did because it was during Reagan/Bush
Season 3, "Dorothy's New Friend."
Her cool, cultured, interesting friend starts to show who she really is when she wants to take Dorothy out to a nice place... but no Jews allowed. This was not uncommon IRL. Perfectly acceptable, even.
I never in my life want to hear about Boomers not being "progressive" ever again.
The four leads were not Boomers, they were born in 1922, '23, and '34. That's two GI/Greatests and a Silent. The created was also a Silent, born in 1940. The oldest Boomers were born in 1946 after WW2 and the youngest ones in the early 60s. They are a huge generation but the term "Boomer" refers to the baby boom that happened after WW2.
Generations older than boomers can be progressive too. It's usually not a split along generational lines but along economical and minority ones. And the creator of the series was a Jewish woman. I think her being a Jewish woman has more to do with it than her having grown up in the forties and fifties.
The booktok women are fine!!!

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every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit
XVI. The Tower
come hither, my loyal knight
a little closer
perfect
*baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you*
*clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang*
Man who was a Blackwater Mercenary, 3 times Iraq veteran, who served as a guard at Abu Ghraib, one time Afghanistan veteran, who said he loved it, and got a Nazi tattoo to celebrate it, and was accused a couple months ago of sexual assault and abuse - which the Yankee left were cool with and defended - is also a rapist
I sincerely believe you should go to hell
Graham Platner ran on an anti-zionist, universal public healthcare, no foreign interventions, pro labor union, etc.
Susan Collin is running on a pro Israel platform, voted for the original Iraq war, voted for the anti boycott act (the one against bds), and voted for additional ice funding as well as the big beautiful bill.
Ahh yes, the unrepentant vet that happily took 5 tours in Iraq, including 1 as a Blackwater mercenary, and lobbing mortars in population-dense environment, desecrating bodies, among other patently monstrous acts and directly serving to expand the interest of the US and the Settler state, is definitely an Anti-Zionist, who is against US imperialism and interventionism. Trust the war criminal rapist with the SS totenkopf tattoo on this one.
So you think Susan Collins is better?
The median american voter btw
So you're saying just don't vote?
You make it sound like there's a secret third option that everyone else is too stupid to realize. Good things platner dropped out I guess.
I'm sorry if your beloved Obengruppenführer Platner drops out, maybe next time, the people of Maine can grow a moral conscience and not vouch for a serial killer and a rapist, inshallah
It's worth noting that he also constantly posted online about how much he loved killing, and that he wished that he could go back in time and participate in every single imperialist war and genocide carried out by the US military (including the "indian wars")
The entire US left rallied behind him as some sort of progressive anti-imperialist, but he literally only had one major policy proposal, which is to increase military spending on shipbuilding (because of fear-mongering about the Chinese navy) and veteran benefits

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actually dipper and mabel are both trans girls, dipper just figures it out later.
wendy too. and soos.
but NOT the old guy.
hes grungler stan
the cigarette catgirl anime is going to be an incredible mentally ill transsexual lesbian ecosystem rebalance re: ratio of doggirls to catgirls