Patron Saint of Struggle

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.

“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”

i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.

“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”

“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”

i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”

A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”

My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.

i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”

“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”

cognitively disabled/impaired people in fandom spaces so lets talk about it

I'm someone with a cognitive impairment. And it is SO difficult to be in a fandom.

There is people who tell Me I can't be a fan of something since I don't (can't) remember everything

and/or because I don't (can't) directly interact with the original media

Ignoring the fact that this idea makes it near impossible to be a casual fan, even if you're able-brained,

this is harmful because these are things I can't do BECAUSE of My cognitive impairment.

I have many things I love but I can't remember much about them because of My cognitive impairment affecting My memory

And I can't directly interact with a media (playing a game, watching a show, so on)

because it gets too confusing for Me or I can't focus on it no matter how much I try

Heck, I can't even remember things about My own hyperfixation that I have had for over a year.

I forget character names or I have to ask about facts multiple times since I just am unable to remember

pro wasp propaganda to

spite my phobia