when you say something awkward and stupid in a social situation that probably no one will remember except you for the rest of time

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todays bird

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@assertivesalamander
when you say something awkward and stupid in a social situation that probably no one will remember except you for the rest of time

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>listening to nin
>hear a new layer to song ive relistened to over and over
>"wow i cant believe i never noticed this before! i wonder what kind of synth he used. its very forboding in a specific way only nin can achieve"
>pause song to write post praising nin
>the synth specifically keeps playing despite the rest of the song being paused
>look outside window
>garbage truck
same energy
la classique
People with the same name who are not the same person
An updated list by someone who clearly isn’t paying attention. Previous realizations include:
Karl and Keith Urban (Karl Urban looks like he could sing country)
Jimmy and Warren Buffet (I just assumed Margaritaville did really well)
Weses Craven and Anderson (what a range on that guy!)
Today I discovered:
Kates Winslet and Hudson (Listening to a Kate Hudson interview today I asked myself, “Isn’t she English?” and had to google her)
And one that I’ve never experienced but I know others have:
HG Wells, Orson Welles, and George Orwell are all different dystopian visionaries.
NEWS ALERT: JOSH GROBAN IS NOT JOSH BROLIN.
how it is apparently
ALDIS HODGE ESSENCE Magazine ✧ March 2026

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yayyyy
Ok like. Imagine life without ads. You wake up, check your messages across a variety of apps, no ads. You get up and put on the tv while you prep your breakfast, no ads. Maybe you drive somewhere and switch on the radio, no ads. Maybe you drive a long distance, yet somehow, not a single billboard on your path. You pick up a newspaper or magazine to pass the time, no advertisements only articles. You turn on your game console, the home screen is just about your games, no ads to buy more. You open a streaming app, you don't pay extra for no ads, there's just no ads ever.
Think about how much of your time is spent looking at ads. "Download ublock" yeah I know, I have. But that doesn't change that the world is covered with endless advertising. Imagine never seeing that again. How much better our lives would be.
sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement
Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.
Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later
Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.
Elementary Sherlock deduces you are Trans and takes you on as a specialist in many obscure and useful disciplines, and also takes you in when you have a falling out with one of your many eccentric and rich paramours. This leads to you becoming an occasional and part-time housekeeper. You are Mrs. Hudson. Yes this is Canon and it aired on TV in like 2007
Jessica Fletcher deduces that you are a frustrated writer who is also trans while she's trying to figure out who at your AI company murdered the billionaire CEO. The billionaire's wife offers Jessica a check for $5 million dollars to prove that it was someone other than her so that she can collect the insurance money.
After tricking the billionaire CEO of a rival AI company into confessing that he's the murderer, Jessica then signs over the check to you so you can quit this terrible, soul sucking job and write that novel that's been in you for several years.
And also afford hormones.
Miss Marple does some snooping, overhears how your relatives and their cronies talk about you, invites you all to tea, knitting up a storm as she's chatting about her second cousin twice removed who changed their name and their whole look after inheriting a large sum and moving away, all quite on the up and up, and how she could get you in contact if you'd like. You leave with an address and a new jumper and your nasty cruel relatives who murdered your parents for the inheritance confess and are taken away.
Shawn Spencer has broken into a locked room in your house, and halfway through you yelling at him, he starts throwing himself around, "hearing spirits" and rubbing Gus's head. he implies that the spirits want you to transition, before stealing a pineapple from your kitchen and refusing to tell the police anything about what he found in the room. a day later your transphobic relative is arrested for a crime unrelated to the one Shawn was hired to investigate.
🎉🤖🎉TEN YEARS OF PACIFIC RIM🎉🦖🎉
so many people ive known have pushed themselves to burnout trying to deny their disabled reality, skipping accommodations, skipping rests etc. and the world convinces them that the solution to their burnout is to push even harder. it’s a huge tragedy. i know social pressures make it tough but i want more disabled people to make things easier for themselves where possible, to opt out of things that harm them when possible, to quit while they’re ahead. be that person today! protect yourself where you can! take micro breaks while doing your hobby. get that shower chair. sit to brush your teeth. lie down in the middle of the day, even if only for 5 mins. these things add up and it’s so worth it.
happy disability pride month! ACCOMMODATE YOURSELF TODAY!

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*watches a horror movie in 2026*
*goes to Tumblr for insightful perspectives*
*sees everyone is just talking about "loser white man" instead of minority main character*
aw man. not again.
stop tagging your heated rivalry bullshit with “game changer” im tryna look at gifsets of anna garcia beating up demi adejuyigbe while josh rueben fucks a sam reich mannequin in a baby carrier.
I haven't renewed my subscription what the fuck could I have possibly missed
You missed anna garcia beating up demi adejuyigbe while josh rueben fucks a sam reich mannequin in a baby carrier.
You may have missed other things too, such as Aabria's pregnancy announcement.
I worry a little bit that people who refuse to learn about ai as a part of their anti ai position are going to be extremely unprepared to understand what’s actually scary about it and already have their digital literacy at risk tbh
not that I am some genius in this regard but if you follow ai developments even slightly you might change the things you are most worried about. do people know the extent to which ai is already eating itself and how meaningless this is making swaths of the internet. do people know that there are plenty of random mid-sized companies today buying their employees’ likenesses to create digital clones and using these to make hundreds of videos. I am so much more worried about labor and surveillance and abuse than people becoming lazy about writing emails. and idk man I sort of like and respect people who are willfully ignorant about it as a way of minimizing its force in their lives and I am in some ways jealous but also when I see posts that basically still boil down to “chatgpt will never fool me” I am like 😭😭😭 for one thing not the only thing to be concerned about, for another thing I am really sorry but I don’t think you’re right
If you're writing anything involving cons, scams, heists, or morally questionable characters who are very good at lying, here are some free resources I've been using for research. Saving you the "why is this in my search history" anxiety.
1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.
2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.
3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.
4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.
5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.
Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.
Reblog to save for later. Your WIP will thank you.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
LMAO OF COURSE THEY HAD TO
washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes