Actually, fuck it. Sit down. I'm gonna tell you the story of Henry.
Fade in. It's a beautiful summer day in Arizona. My parents and siblings are out of the house. I am hanging out enjoying the fact that the house is empty save for my cats and sister.
The peace is suddenly broken by an exclamation from my sister, who had gone out to the yard to enjoy the sunshine. If you know someone long enough, you know what intonation requires your immediate response. This was one of those times.
I quickly get up, not knowing what to expect as I entered what I was soon to discover to be the boss fight of the week, nay, the summer.
This unidentified fucking THING is in our yard.
Now, one thing to know about us is that we are feral homeschoolers at heart. No amount of therapy can save us at this point. We grew up obsessively studying the wildlife of the area. We know immediately that this is NOT a local creature.
A look is exchanged, and we knew what had to be done.
The next twenty minutes were a mad action-packed chase with enough plot twists you'd think you were watching a Netflix film created to be put on in the background.
We took turns outsmarting one another, unclear who was one step ahead. Human vs bird. Teamwork and stamina versus sheer instinct. Both equally dedicated to the chase. Both equally set on the win.
Ladders were involved, nets were involved, trespassing was involved.
We chased him around our yard, the neighbors' yards, the brush, the bushes, the roof of my house. Nothing would stop us but utter defeat. Henry knew this and acted accordingly.
Finally, he was driven into our garage. His fate was sealed as he entered his concrete prison. It was there he was corralled into a rabbit cage, where he was finally captured for good. We had won.
Once the dust had settled, it was established that Henry was a Chukar Partridge, and belonged to our neighbor, whom he escaped from. He was returned and, sorry to say, was likely fed to his hunting dogs. Apologies for foiling your plans for a happy life, but you would've just been coyote bait in the end little man. No rest for the wicked.
Our neighbor was impressed we were able to capture him, as, upon further research, this is what scientists have to say about this particular bird:
It runs and scampers up steep terrain with the agility and speed of a mountain goat, prompting hunters to nickname it the "devil bird" for the brutal chase it gives.
Via Cornell Lab of Ornithology
It was after all was said and done that I truly understood the appeal of sports. I knew what it was to be a persistence predator. I knew what humans had evolved for. I knew if I had the option, I would have not done a single thing differently.
I know the thrill of the chase.
And now I can only spend my days hoping for another chance to reach that high.
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
yousharknotpass
