long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

and what if I told you guys that virtually everyone you ever meet will turn out to be really interesting if you give them a chance

some real miserable fucks in the notes I fear

I'm not even saying you have to talk to every single person you meet. and you're certainly not going to LIKE all of them. but every person does have a rich interior life and complex feelings and unique worldview. sorry.

this is truly one of the most tumblr posts i've ever seen. i know chronically online people exist in all corners of the internet but i feel like this is the only place where someone could say something as uncontroversial as "you will find out that people have personalities when you talk to them" and get responses like "oh so you're making the ABLEIST assertion that i should FORCE MYSELF to push past my SOCIAL ANXIETY to talk to BIGOTS????" amazing work, guys

They were cooking with this interpretation actually

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

idk how to explain it but im never truly comfortable with the way people insinuate that all older folks are inherently bigoted. it always feels like it kind of hand-waves away personal responsibility like ohhhh grandpa cant help homophobic, hes old. well ive met plenty of older folks who are normal about gay people. i think grandpa could be better. i think we should hold grandpa to higher standards.

i think we should kill grandpa

lets kill grandpa together

petplay over the internet is so funny you're texting a dog

#critiquing your kink scenario's ludonarrative dissonance

Carly rae needs to do a folk album beyonce needs to do emo rap divorce album adele has always wanted to do reggae just let it happen one time gaga needs to stop doing real estate commercials and divorce her pharma husband slayyyter needs to stay exactly as popular as she is or she’s gonna become charli xcx charli xcx needs to not do a rock album like she says shes going to next and i need to do anything at all

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

spamton was pronounced deceased yesterday after being consumed by a northern pike