they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

oozey mess
cherry valley forever
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

blake kathryn
we're not kids anymore.
The Bowery Presents
d e v o n
occasionally subtle
YOU ARE THE REASON
Today's Document
ojovivo
macklin celebrini has autism

Misplaced Lens Cap
tumblr dot com
RMH
will byers stan first human second
Fai_Ryy
hello vonnie
seen from Brazil
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seen from United States
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seen from Canada

seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia

seen from Bosnia & Herzegovina
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@artylenn
they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

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Saw this twitter post and instantly started looking for pictures of Stratt to use it with
this is funny to me
i’d watch anything with benoit blanc. the next movie could be him solving who ate the last slice of pizza at a dinner party with his watsons and his bf, and i’d rate it five stars and do a four page analysis on how the cheese is symbolic

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Day 30: there are people in this world who are not obsessed with him, if you can believe that
I've reached the point of my obsession where I've started mesuring time with the date the show was released. I wish I was joking. I just saw a youtube video and my first thought was "omg this came out the same year as dbda!" ITS BEEN 6 FUCKING DAYS.
I do this so much with Doctor Who, I'll be like 2016? Who was the Doctor then?
It's actually helped my concept of like the entire 1960-2015 period
hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit
I just finished episode 6 of dead boy detectives and I’m shaking. wtf. Why. Omg.
Firstly I came into this completely blind and had no IDEA it was going to be this queer. WDYM ONE OF THE “MAIN” PLOTS IS ABOUT ONE OF THE MC’S FIGURING OUT HE’S GAY FOR HIS BEST FRIEND WTFFF!!!!!! Istg if they don’t get together I’m gonna scream (Though atp I’m like 80% sure they will but I’m also fully prepared to be let down (Yet again. Looking at you *literally every other show in existence*))
Also the whole thing with Charles’ backstory and his dad and just everything! GAHH. I feel so bad for him.
I feel bad for all of them though. Although it does seem like Crystal has her demon ex out of her head now which is GREAT! I love that!
I will say that Edwin is my favourite still although Niko is a VERY close second. (I may have misspelled/misremembered the names but I hope you know what I mean) I love them as a duo and given the landlord told her to set some other people up I really hope she’s gonna try and set Charles and Edwin up (even though he’s in FREAKING HELL NOW WTF!?!?!)
I have so much to say and I’m so so sleepy so I’m gonna finish my thoughts here. I’m gonna sleep then hopefully finish the series tomorrow and then if they don’t get together I’ll spend the rest of tomorrow crying :)

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It is so funny to me how most people in Dead Boy Detectives are just “let me tell you about my backstory.”
Edwin repeatedly brings up Hell, like he wants to add “so there, nyah” but he’s too proper. Charles says Edwin has told him loads of stories about his time there too.
Tragic “I was once a mighty walrus” Mick.
Esther tells teenage kids currently foiling her plans that she made a deal with a primordial goddess. Also, the snake thing. She doesn’t question how Crystal learned about Esther’s cheating husband—how well known is that story?
Nico tells someone she just met about her dad dying, dropping out of school, not being able to read her mother’s letters.
Crystal doesn’t even remember her past, but she’ll vent about her asshole ex-boyfriend and getting out of a bad relationship with her landlord she’s known for a day.
She’s using the “treat my trauma like a joke so I don’t have to actually deal” method, but Jenny does bring up her alcoholic father.
Aisha the gift shop owner only has a few minutes of screen time but still manages to mention she does acid and paints primordial goddesses.
The three most secretive people are Monty (and you know he’d be chattering about his actual past instead of his made up one if he could), the Cat King, and Charles.
Which is even funnier, because Cat King and Charles are so alike here! They are both saying “look at me, pay attention to me, no not like that.” And they would absolutely hate having that in common.
I really love their shenanEGGans
But why is no one talking about how Sherlock knows exactly where Moriarty's bedroom is less than 24 hours after meeting him? And how Moriarty doesn't seem surprised at all to see him?? Are we supposed to assume that as a scout he has a built in student directory app or???
Bonus: let's casually discuss what we did or did not do last night and I'll (needlessly) change my clothes while you watch James
part 2 of drawing hermits i watch!
Boss tries to fire me for poor performance but I punch the ground and spit out blood and say "No... this isn't how this ends" while my leitmotif plays
Boss fires me for my poorly-composed leitmotif

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The Observatory's Monument, and The Story of The Blue Axolotl🌤️🌿
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts
1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass
That car is not messed up enough. Here.
@identifying-cars-in-posts
1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12
I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees
I’ll write a hauiku
as a comment on this post
and hope the bot sees
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
@identifying-horses-in-posts
Pretty horse!
@i-say-ok
ok.
@cat-spotted
CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!
/200K
I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!
the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?
oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby
If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.
@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D
TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN
to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses
I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure
This is a Picrew made by Nuggts @.nuggts on TikTok You can use this Picrew as a profile picture or in a video etc. with credits! Do
Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about
tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart
tag all you moots this is not an option
also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well
@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
ON IT BESTIE!
im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen
NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh and @probablyautism here u go luv
CMON FOLKS
DO IT
here you are!!
@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.
@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here's Aziraphale in disguise:
And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL
@writing-prompt-s
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho
hi jeff (:
I just texted @one-time-i-dreamt
i don't what's more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt 's phone number
I have been summoned many, many times
This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!
The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can't miss my turn with the knife.
Time for the officalverse
@satan-offical @trans-official @sometimes-cis-offical @tiresias-offical @jeff-offical @spotify-offical @beehive-offical @sleep-offical
And any others
This is interesting. Hey, family check this out!!1!
@the-void-offical @shadow-dimension-offical @nothing-offical @nonexistent-offical @nowhere-offical @no-one-offical @deactived-offical @child-offical @never-offical @the-listener-offical @the-yapper-offical
oh? what is this?
I summon the friends: @ferg-offical @immortal-snail-offical
I bless all of thee with this legendary post so it may circulate once more and curse OP in the long term
holy fuck this took so long to read you know what ima add people
@nico-di-angelo-offical @annabethy-wisegirl6-official @luke-castellan-offical @octavian-offical @leo-valdez-offical @number1greekhater @the-haven-au @jasongracesglasses
@polluxandcastor-offical @percy-jackson-offical
please reblog this and read it I laughed my ass of of what ever the fuck I saw and needed to share
omg its reached the officals
IM HELPING!!! HERES PICTURES OF ME IN A PROPELLER HAT WITH A LOLLIPOP!!!!
I LOOK SO SILLY IN THESE, PLEASE INTERACT SO THEY HAVE TO EAT THESE PICTURES TOO!!! [I'm going to at some point make the above recipe and eat it, but probably when I'm back home, which won't be for a few centuries.]
IT DELETED HALF OF MY TAGS!!!!
LOOK!!!!!
BRO.... (gn)
That's a lot of tags.
Also is that flying tiger?
Oh it is? I can see the sign
Can't tell the country tho too blurry of a photo /hj /silly
I’m joining in :D
I shall summon my irl friends for this one
Reblog this hoes
@1tz-j0zt-st4r-n-plut0 @epikperzon @lennonswritingcorner13
wait I probably should of @ ed people lol
No pressure to do anything lol
(this is @skeletal-spire-man-aka-overfit btw)
@deadlyniteshade-29 @spooklia @beigetiger @eb-or-echo @storm-is-wandering @deedeethedevil @phasmid28 @carsycat22 @i-know-too-many-greek-myths @lovestringx @pizza-cake-house @phoenixflamz-78 @notquitehuman51623 @silly-billytillymilly @masterpage221 @sweetcandicorn @eddie-the-rockstar @lightsabersandbluecookies @captain0fcrows @holymolyitssam @confusedfroggirl @gaster-wd @gravykins @randomguy0ntumbir @akagicyrusl0vr96 @godzillas-official @bellabookworm @ch1mmy-error @endlesswatcher @wearecurrentlybankrupt @gia-olir @dabadoowop @perfection-official @n16htshade @mossandfiresmokes @dreamless-cosmos @yourlocalavian @froggygoblingirl @moss-the-goober-offical @rusty-spooooooooon @evyyy77 @the-local-pineapple @shaneyyy-thesilly @lunathetunaaa @axilotlbucket @no-man-may-have-my-soul
its already at 200k calm down you beasts
Can We Hit: 300K?
Yes. Yes we fucking can.
@beansandsausages32 @definiitely-not-ao3-offical @smol-gremlin-child-offical @killer-offical you all have more reach than me.