Assassin's Log

First Suggestion Tim on day 3 no sleep.

Also at what point are each of them contemplating facing Damian’s wrath if they “rehomed” the dang snitching cat.

He then snitches on them by yowling and hiding behind Damian when the boy gets home. Damian rightfully knows his family did something, but no one will tell him what.

Bonus points if he's hiding from something. I'm kinda bored of him running from GIW or his parents. I want a comedy of some ghost trying to catnap danny only to fail hilariously over and over as subplot. Maybe it's vlad, and the bats have to deal with a creepy old guy that this cat absolutely despises. Maybe it's some new ghost cause we definitely need some new blood in this Fandom. I look forward to someone pulling a Wes again ;)

Bruce: y-

Red Hood: I-it's not *my* blood!

Since he's a cat, I guess Cass wouldn't be able to 'read' him well? But...

Catwoman. My knowledge of Catwoman is a bit... conflicting... as some versions of her are Very Cat-like and some are just cat-themed sneaky thief. But imagine Catwoman learning about "Snitches"... by sneaking around Wayne Manor during one of the charity balls.

Danny: Merp?

Selina: Oh, what a handsome little tom with such bright eyes. Now where did Bruce get you?

Danny: RAAAAAAAAOUUUU!

Tim, hiding from the party: SNITCHES, SHUT UP! I'M NOT EVEN HUR- oh.

Selina, eyebrow raised: Your cat is named Snitches?

Bruce: He's rather vocal about certain things.

Tim, mutters: And weirdly smart even for a cat.

Selina: Bruce.

Bruce, hand raised: Kyle.

"Wonder Woman will tell the others that I am being bullied by a kitten. They will all have a good laugh about it. I have allowed this. I trust you understand that this behavior is only tolerated among allies. Batman has an image to uphold to maintain efficacy, which would be undermined should the criminal underworld learn of this."

About an hour after the phone call from Diana, Snitches still was perched on his chest. Bruce sighed (which the cat responded to with a twitch of his ears) and gave the feline a level look.

“I can, and do, appreciate the need to comply with bedrest, but, if I don’t shift position, it’s going to be really uncomfortable for me. Not to mention the risk of developing bedsores.”

Ok, maybe Bruce was overplaying the risk of bedsore, but he really wanted to move just a bit.

Snitches narrowed his eyes a bit, then shifted over the the extreme right on Bruce’s chest…and then set in his claws juuuuust a tiny bit as a warning.

2/3 Also, I kind of find the idea of Danny trying to explain muggle things to Draco kind of funny, because I think Draco *would* try to keep the snide comments to himself a bit because he really wants Danny to like him, but he just. Does Not Understand what Danny’s talking about when he starts talking about NASA/videogames/whatever. I think Danny could be the cause of some serious family friction too, especially if Lucius hates/is awkward and Narcissa adores/is sad around Danny.

3/3 I think Danny may have a spat or two with Draco, but he would try to encourage and bring the best out of him because he knows how to maintain a healthy familial bond and Draco… doesn’t. Draco is a people-pleaser when it comes to family honestly, so being torn between wanting to please his father and wanting to keep Danny in his life could lead to some serious self-reflection. Add in that his folks are in Voldemort’s inner circle, and you’ve got a recipe for some serious self-conflict.

(re this ficlet)

Ooh, I like it, Anon! It offers great contrast between the two brothers that way. And, well, Danny explaining muggle things to Draco would be hilarious, because there would be this instinctual insistence that wizards are better than muggles balanced with the fact that Draco has to admit some muggle inventions/accomplishments are worth his admiration and respect. Upon finding out how much Danny likes space, Draco can teach him some of the common constellations in the wizarding world, because even if he doesn’t understand most of what Danny’s talking about when he talks about space, Draco does understand that much.

Ah, self-conflict. Delicious. *grins* But, yes, Danny would definitely be the one trying to smooth things over and essentially help to teach Draco how to be a better person without realizing that’s what he’s doing.

danny is that. it’s why the malfoys disowned him, though narcissa was devestated when her husband got rid of one of their babies in the night. it’s why she is the way she is with draco.

danny’s phantom side is unrelated. when he meets his birth family and weird things happen around him, the malfoy parents assume they were just wrong and danny actually is a wizard. draco is the only one who finds out the truth.

also, avada kedavra doesn’t work on danny! nobody can figure out why. is he another boy who lived? harry tries to figure it out and draco, trying to help danny protect his secret, comes up with increasingly ridiculous lies that make danny think “wow. we really are related”

I really only mentioned magic potentially explaining the existence of Phantom because I can see Danny considering the idea, thinking that might be why he survived the accident. I mean. Maybe that’s a reason for all this weirdness, right? But since Vlad exists, Danny would know that can’t be the case after he thought about it (since he would not put it past Vlad to use magic to split up his parents if he had access to it).

I pity the poor witch/wizard who attempts to avada kedavra Danny, though. Just thinking about potential scenarios and subsequent cover-up attempts is hilarious.

The school ghosts would also likely know, but they wouldn’t tell; it’s not their place to interfere with matters of the living. 

Oh, could you imagine the tension if Voldemort ever met Danny while he was with the Malfoys. Or if they knew he was coming with his Death Eaters and Draco and Narcissa are frantically trying to hide Danny and ends up shoving him into a room adjacent to where they talk and then Danny essentially gets a front row seat to the entire meeting and gets a real eye-opener about the ideas that his birth-parents support (they are very hush-hush about the circumstances of Danny’s abandonment), and understanding the very tedious position that Draco is in, being the “Dark Chosen One”. That would be such a mind-blowing and devastating moment for Danny, and I think it would really give him some conflict because fuck his parents but he doesn’t want to abandon Draco in such a difficult position (remember Draco’s breakdown in HBP?). 

I can certainly see the Malfoys trying to downplay Danny’s presence as much as possible, and not parading him in front of anyone important would be part of that. They would spell the room to keep out eavesdroppers, though–but chances are good they aren’t warding against ghosts, and Danny’s curious, so he can pull what’s becoming one of his infamous escape attempts. This is, of course, before he becomes infamous for a very different sort of escape–which, as you said, likely comes about after Danny, being furious about what’s he’s overheard, has some very pointed conversations in places he didn’t realize had ears (despite Draco trying to shush him).

2/3 Also, I kind of find the idea of Danny trying to explain muggle things to Draco kind of funny, because I think Draco *would* try to keep the snide comments to himself a bit because he really wants Danny to like him, but he just. Does Not Understand what Danny’s talking about when he starts talking about NASA/videogames/whatever. I think Danny could be the cause of some serious family friction too, especially if Lucius hates/is awkward and Narcissa adores/is sad around Danny.

3/3 I think Danny may have a spat or two with Draco, but he would try to encourage and bring the best out of him because he knows how to maintain a healthy familial bond and Draco… doesn’t. Draco is a people-pleaser when it comes to family honestly, so being torn between wanting to please his father and wanting to keep Danny in his life could lead to some serious self-reflection. Add in that his folks are in Voldemort’s inner circle, and you’ve got a recipe for some serious self-conflict.

(re this ficlet)

Ooh, I like it, Anon! It offers great contrast between the two brothers that way. And, well, Danny explaining muggle things to Draco would be hilarious, because there would be this instinctual insistence that wizards are better than muggles balanced with the fact that Draco has to admit some muggle inventions/accomplishments are worth his admiration and respect. Upon finding out how much Danny likes space, Draco can teach him some of the common constellations in the wizarding world, because even if he doesn’t understand most of what Danny’s talking about when he talks about space, Draco does understand that much.

Ah, self-conflict. Delicious. *grins* But, yes, Danny would definitely be the one trying to smooth things over and essentially help to teach Draco how to be a better person without realizing that’s what he’s doing.

danny is that. it’s why the malfoys disowned him, though narcissa was devestated when her husband got rid of one of their babies in the night. it’s why she is the way she is with draco.

danny’s phantom side is unrelated. when he meets his birth family and weird things happen around him, the malfoy parents assume they were just wrong and danny actually is a wizard. draco is the only one who finds out the truth.

also, avada kedavra doesn’t work on danny! nobody can figure out why. is he another boy who lived? harry tries to figure it out and draco, trying to help danny protect his secret, comes up with increasingly ridiculous lies that make danny think “wow. we really are related”

I really only mentioned magic potentially explaining the existence of Phantom because I can see Danny considering the idea, thinking that might be why he survived the accident. I mean. Maybe that’s a reason for all this weirdness, right? But since Vlad exists, Danny would know that can’t be the case after he thought about it (since he would not put it past Vlad to use magic to split up his parents if he had access to it).

I pity the poor witch/wizard who attempts to avada kedavra Danny, though. Just thinking about potential scenarios and subsequent cover-up attempts is hilarious.

The school ghosts would also likely know, but they wouldn’t tell; it’s not their place to interfere with matters of the living. 

Oh, could you imagine the tension if Voldemort ever met Danny while he was with the Malfoys. Or if they knew he was coming with his Death Eaters and Draco and Narcissa are frantically trying to hide Danny and ends up shoving him into a room adjacent to where they talk and then Danny essentially gets a front row seat to the entire meeting and gets a real eye-opener about the ideas that his birth-parents support (they are very hush-hush about the circumstances of Danny’s abandonment), and understanding the very tedious position that Draco is in, being the “Dark Chosen One”. That would be such a mind-blowing and devastating moment for Danny, and I think it would really give him some conflict because fuck his parents but he doesn’t want to abandon Draco in such a difficult position (remember Draco’s breakdown in HBP?). 

I can certainly see the Malfoys trying to downplay Danny’s presence as much as possible, and not parading him in front of anyone important would be part of that. They would spell the room to keep out eavesdroppers, though–but chances are good they aren’t warding against ghosts, and Danny’s curious, so he can pull what’s becoming one of his infamous escape attempts. This is, of course, before he becomes infamous for a very different sort of escape–which, as you said, likely comes about after Danny, being furious about what’s he’s overheard, has some very pointed conversations in places he didn’t realize had ears (despite Draco trying to shush him).

Lie down, and look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs of yours and remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting. Don’t worry.”

Texts From Superheroes

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

From the medieval perspective, those four fairies were all exactly alike - the blue or pink ones would’ve cursed the baby just the same if they hadn’t been invited.

But yeah, sign me up for the AU where they did invite Maleficent and she not only gives Aurora an awesome present but becomes a mentor and they end up ruling all the land with an iron fist.

You mean like this?

Converted a few of my cursed children:

The porn ban was genuinely an incredible loss. Many of my friends are sex workers that I met through Tumblr. It destroyed dozens of wonderful niche communities that still haven't recovered and likely never will.

reALLY?  *REALLY???*  That is not remotely a current or mainstream school of thought.  I mean, fuck, if you go to JSTOR and search for “Patroclus” your third result is an article called “Achilles and Patroclus in Love” from 1978.

Fire burn and cowboy bootin'

Eye of newt and spicy beans,

Toe of frog and denim jeans,

Whiskey, grits, n' demon spittle

tossed into my iron griddle

With the tannin' of our hides,

is it cool if i use this for something in the future? like a spell or something??