random stuff

This is the only time the speed force gets to judge him but seeing all the blunders Clockwork had to fix, they really have no standing lol. Alfred gets to live and spend more time with his charges, but on the weekends he has to be away to tutor Danny who is resistant at first but then likes being around the sassy butler. He also enjoys hearing stories about his charges because they give him ideas for when he has to visit the fruit loop.

Vlad is not happy about Danny making his chandelier fall. He is even more annoyed when Danny tells him to have one of his butlers email him an iou as he hands over a business card. Alfred impressed the need of a business card but it was stories of how Bruce weaponed them against against annoying people that got Danny to make his own, and after using them on Vlad 1 time it has been so worth it.

Bruce just sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose to stop his forming headache. Ever since he and the family found out about the deal the entity Clockwork, a prolong life in exchange to tutor a future Ghost King, and finally meeting said future king most of his kids seemed to find him pretty. Someone, he doesn't remember which of his kids started this, jokingly said that maybe one of them should marry Danny into the family.

Bruce groans when he hears someone pull out one of their weapons and is now threatening the others with it.

Meanwhile

"DANIEL! Get down from the roof!"

Brucie had something like this happening a few years ago with one of his wards.

I thought about just tagging this 'nuff said, but it's not.

I want to say something to all of the women under 50 on this site. Ready? You do not have to be over 50 to start taking up space.

Danny hadn’t intended to go this far into the caves. Caves are dangerous underwater. They are dark, tight, and the currents can drag you deeper than you ever wanted to go. He had just wanted to hide, to escape, so he had gripped onto the edge of a tunnel knowing that only an idiot would get close with the current trying to suck them in. 

It had worked, Skulker had known better and hadn’t thought the welp would be that dumb, and if he had been taken then he was lost. He had left. It would have been fine if Danny hadn’t lost his grip.

Tight tunnels, dark cold water, and the current bashing him against the rocks. The journey had been long. Too long. Danny could no longer tell how far or how deep the currents had dragged him as he pulled himself bruised, battered and bleeding onto the edge of an underground pool to rest. 

He was trapped. The waterways leading out of this section of caves were too small for him to squeeze through. The ones leading in were too perilous to even try fighting the current.

Danny was alone, with nothing but his voice and his soft green bioluminescence to keep him company. So he sang. 

...

The music is what drew Damian to that section of caves. He had been investigating a nearby tunnel when a sound drew his attention. It had been low, mournful, and utterly alien. The language was none he spoke, or had ever heard, but each syllable carried the meaning far more than just tone alone ever could. 

longing, loss, lonely, pain, fear, lonely, lonely.

It was beautiful. Damian immediately suspected a trap, but could not bear to leave whatever the thing was to itself. So he followed the sound.

Sound carries oddly underground. It would have been impossible to follow as far as he did under normal circumstances. If it had not been for his training, and the peculiar quality of the voice, Damian would have been lost, if he would have noticed the noise at all.

The tunnel opened up into a large cave with several pools of water. On the corner of the largest pool, came a soft green light that seemed to be the source of the song. 

It was a person of sorts. Humanoid upper body with the lower half being comprised of a tail, more eel like than fish, with bioluminescent markings going along the length. He, and Damian was hesitant to call it a he, seemed of masculine build if on the lean side. Dick would make a joke about him having a swimmer’s body. A white, hairlike growth seemed to sport from his head, and Damien wondered if it was a type of sensory organ, or perhaps vestigial. Whatever the case, the white was tinged with red and whatever this creature was, he seemed hurt. 

Damian stepped forward, making his steps heard. The creature looked up, its song coming to a halt. Instantly Damian missed the sound. With wide, dark eyes and what appeared to be panic, the creature looked at Damian, and the cave was plunged into darkness

#after writing most of that i have come to a realization#because on one hand romancing the fish person and overcoming communication barriers

#on the other hand earning the trust of an injured creature of legend that's trapped and gradually helping and learning is also what's happening

#plus i just thought it would be cool to utilize siren song as a form of language or communication before basic asl is taught to the fishman

#because something like whalesong would travel better underwater than human languages

#so danny's vocal cords might not even be able to make a lot of the right sounds for english

Bruce flipping a table covered in glass figures: YES! YES. BOYFRIEND! MY BOY HAS A LOVER.

Jason: Bruce this isnt a football game stop-

Dick pull out his phone: TIM GET THE FIREWORKS!

Tim on face time: What for?

Dick: Jay has a Boyfriend! ONE HE WANTS TO INTRODUCE TO THE FAMILY!

Tim: WHAT?! YES. GOD YES! I'LL GET MY GUY FOR THE FIREWORK SHOW READY IN A HOUR

Jason: Tim has spontaneous fireworks shows guy?

Damian: Of course, he does. He's not a barbarian. Why are we celebrating?

Jason: Oh, hey, Dami. Sorry to wake you up from your nap. Bruce and Dick are just being dramatic about meeting my boyfriend.

Damian: You have a paramour?

Jason: Yes I do. What's with the tone?

Damian: I'm just surprised anyone would agree to that type of relationship with you.

Jason: The hell is that supposed to mean!?

Damian: I hear you tell Harper once that you would only enjoy the pleasure of flesh and that you would never commit to a relationship. I assumed that meant you would only have brief lovers for debauchery.

Jason: Oh. Yeah I told Roy that but that was before I meet Danny. He's more then a one-night stand.

Damian: Hmm. What does this Daniel-

Jason: His name is Danny

Damian: No. What does this Daniel do for a living?

Jason: He's a brain surgeon

Damian dropping to knees and ripping his shirt from overwhelming glee: YEEEEEESSSS!!!! OH MY GOD, HE'S A BRAIN SURGEON!!! TODD IS BRINGING A BRAIN SURGEON HOME!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR THE BLOODLINE!! FATHER TELL DRAKE TO CALL HIS BOUNCR HOUSE DEALER. WE MUST CELEBRATE TO THE FULLEST!

Jason: This is why I dont bring anyone home. Bruce, you good?

Bruce foaming at the mouth: SON-IN-LAW BRAIN SURGEON.

Jason: Mmh-okay. You're too far gone. I'll have to put you down.

Dick: *Twitching on the ground overwhelmed by happiness*

a leaked series of press shots shows a photo of the two recreating the spiderman pointing meme in the middle of the street and then a photo of Jason booking it while Dick gives chase, and the footage of Jason winning the gold will forever be immortalised in Gotham meme culture simply because Dick is seen in the background of the entire livestream, standing in the front of the viewing area with his arms crossed and fucking glaring into the side of Jason's skull without blinking or looking away for a second.

his first thought is Tim, until he remembers all the shit Bruce put Tim through under the excuse of 'training exercises' during the dark era, and he can't risk that 3-seconds-away-from-becoming-a-villain seventeen year old seeing a drugged up Batman and deciding 'ok my turn'.

his second thought is Jason except no it's not, not a chance, absolutely the fuck not, moving on,

third thought is Dick, but Dick has a childish streak in him and is the one that treats Bruce the most like a partner rather than a guardian figure. that's dangerous. if Dick's in a bemused and bored mood then there's a very good chance Bruce will end up naked on a raft in the middle of Gotham harbour while Dick livestreams from the bridge above.

so the final decision ends up being Damian. still young, yes, but also the most proud of his position as Bruce's son. Alfred comes to the conclusion that Damian wouldn't pull anything too bad because, well, it would reflect badly on his own family line. so he calls Damian out of school and asks him to watch his father for the night, and then he leaves only minorly worried. unfortunately for Alfred, Damian is thirteen years old and currently experimenting with the freedom that comes with not being a public heir to the Demon's Head, because as Jason told him, 'he needs to learn to fuck about without being paranoid about the consequences of his actions'.

and no, i don't mean to hate on ppl with bodies that malnourished, obviously; there are mental hurdles they're trying to overcome or medical issues that are none of your or my business.

i'm saying that i hate that hollywood is, yet again, saying that this body type is what everyone should aim for, and that the "advice" being handed out is "magical weightloss drug" or "starve".

Bruce flipping a table covered in glass figures: YES! YES. BOYFRIEND! MY BOY HAS A LOVER.

Jason: Bruce this isnt a football game stop-

Dick pull out his phone: TIM GET THE FIREWORKS!

Tim on face time: What for?

Dick: Jay has a Boyfriend! ONE HE WANTS TO INTRODUCE TO THE FAMILY!

Tim: WHAT?! YES. GOD YES! I'LL GET MY GUY FOR THE FIREWORK SHOW READY IN A HOUR

Jason: Tim has spontaneous fireworks shows guy?

Damian: Of course, he does. He's not a barbarian. Why are we celebrating?

Jason: Oh, hey, Dami. Sorry to wake you up from your nap. Bruce and Dick are just being dramatic about meeting my boyfriend.

Damian: You have a paramour?

Jason: Yes I do. What's with the tone?

Damian: I'm just surprised anyone would agree to that type of relationship with you.

Jason: The hell is that supposed to mean!?

Damian: I hear you tell Harper once that you would only enjoy the pleasure of flesh and that you would never commit to a relationship. I assumed that meant you would only have brief lovers for debauchery.

Jason: Oh. Yeah I told Roy that but that was before I meet Danny. He's more then a one-night stand.

Damian: Hmm. What does this Daniel-

Jason: His name is Danny

Damian: No. What does this Daniel do for a living?

Jason: He's a brain surgeon

Damian dropping to knees and ripping his shirt from overwhelming glee: YEEEEEESSSS!!!! OH MY GOD, HE'S A BRAIN SURGEON!!! TODD IS BRINGING A BRAIN SURGEON HOME!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR THE BLOODLINE!! FATHER TELL DRAKE TO CALL HIS BOUNCR HOUSE DEALER. WE MUST CELEBRATE TO THE FULLEST!

Jason: This is why I dont bring anyone home. Bruce, you good?

Bruce foaming at the mouth: SON-IN-LAW BRAIN SURGEON.

Jason: Mmh-okay. You're too far gone. I'll have to put you down.

Dick: *Twitching on the ground overwhelmed by happiness*