random stuff

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

Danny borrowed a copy of Hamlet from Ghost Writer's library, because the Amity Library had all their copies already checked out by other students writing their papers too. Except the copy Danny had grabbed was a rough draft preliminary version of the play, before it was cut and edited to best appeal to the audience at the Globe theater.

It's an unknown version of Hamlet.

I hear you ask, "but Sam is younger than her in this au" and I tell you that Martha Wayne had the genetic trait of looking younger than she actually was, a trait that was in her family for generations.

Thus, we have Sam who resembles Martha Wayne far too much, the philosopher's stone that makes her immortal, and a genetic trait that has Martha looking younger than she actually is and you get misunderstandings.

So, Sam was just minding her business trying to figure out what exactly for her castle to be anywhere that wasn't Amity Park when someone stepped onto her property and, getting a feel for them she realized that they don't seem to be magical in nature.

Also, scratch that, it was more than one person.

So, she decided to give them a... 'warm' welcome.

A group of people who believed in the supernatural decided to get together one day to explore the castle that spawned randomly one day in Gotham for shits and giggles. So there they were, stepping through the fog, barely able to see the ground let alone each other.

They had to solve a puzzle for the door to the castle to open in those conditions, which was weird but it was also the fun kind of weird so they weren't complaining about it. When they opened the door it was very dark, which made them second guess themselves for a second and then they decided to step in anyway.

They live in Gotham what's the chances of this castle being worse than what they go through weekly?

The door slammed shut behind them as soon as the last person stepped inside, leaving them in total darkness for a moment before candles lit themselves up and they saw the inside of the castle in its full glory.

It looked, very, very beautiful.

So beautiful in fact, that they almost missed the woman stood at the top of the stairs. She looked very, very beautiful and was wearing a dress that looked very expensive (think Blue Diamond from Steven Universe but black) with a red gem right in the middle of her chest.

The lady welcomed them into her castle, and suddenly they found their vision going back as the woman's sinister chuckle echoed all around them and they found themselves in separate rooms of the house.

Fun fact, this group of people were also streamers and streaming everything up to the point of Sam's entrance and then her magicking them all in different rooms. They also had a pretty good following, so safe to say the chats were going crazy over what just happened.

So, the various live streamers investigate the castle to find a way to escape before their assumed death, they solve various puzzles both with their own wit and the help of their chat that were magical in nature. The various puzzles and traps were, genuinely, very fun to solve, both for the chat and the streamers doing them.

All the streamers manage to meet up again, and boy are they genuinely thankful for the fact that-so far at least, this doesn't seem to actually be anything life threatening and just seemed to be a grand time all around.

Then they all headed down a hall together, and the chat just went absolutely ballistic when they saw a large portrait of the witch and another man standing together and smiling.

The chat never got a good look at her before the streamers got teleported to different rooms, but that painting?

It changed everything.

Because the woman standing in that picture-as pointed out by a chat member, looked an awful lot like Martha Wayne, and the man standing next to her? Thoms Wayne.

The streamers, obviously, think they've hit the jack pot because their viewer count is just going up and up because of this new information and also think they've hit some sort of scandal because, wasn't Martha Wayne dead?

Eventually, the find themselves sitting at the dining table with said woman who was silently drinking tea with a bunch of food sitting on the table in front of them. The woman smirked as she placed down her cup, asking if they enjoyed the various puzzles she laid out for them.

Everyone agrees, and the chat is exploding for them to ask if she's actually Martha Wayne.

She doesn't answer save for a cheeky smile and then suddenly they were standing outside of her castle and couldn't get back in.

Comment from @percyisawesome

Imagine the streamers coming across other photos and portraits. They stumble across one where Danny and Tucker are … very close. Way closer than just to friends would be. Think, Tucker sitting in Danny’s lap while he’s tinkering with some tech, eyes dripping with adoration.

The conspiracy theories go wild.

“Oh my gawd, Lucius Fox was in a throuple with the Waynes?!”

But is that blood red gem lookin awful symbolic? YEP.

Are there photos people MISSED during the stream? Since it was moving to fast? That only a play back, frame by frame, caught? Like, oh, look! Up right of this shot! That's her and Thomas... dancing literally mid-air.

P.. photoshop?

But then the magic users are coming BACK like "yoooo, I showed this to my grandma! Who's way better then me and who never bothers with technology cause she doesn't like it, and she FREAKED OUT! Started cursing! That place was HELLA HAUNTED? Apparently?" And getting responses like "omg! SAME. My Dad said he'd literally move us to Peru if I even THOUGHT about going near it!"

Like? Wut.

So she messes with them, they don't get to meet with her directly, but they aren't harmed either, a simple misdirection there, a corridor or wall popping up where there originally wasn't one and even a gate.

Sometimes, a few of them get so close to meeting with her directly, but yet so far as well.

So what do the Gotham reporters do? Well they adapt of course! If they can't get a meeting with the maybe ghost/zombie of Martha Wayne, then they'll come up with new ideas to force a meeting!

Their ideas get more and more insane and elaborate as time goes on, each one desperate to be the first one to get a meeting with her.

Eventually, one of the reporters has the brilliant idea of bringing Bruce Wayne with them as well, thinking it would somehow, someway allow them a meeting with Martha, maybe the reporter couldn't be there physically but if Bruce Wayne wears this really nice piece of tech that'll record their conversation for their wonderful watchers, they'll be able to get a scoop!

It worked.

Bruce Wayne managed to get a meeting with her, and Martha Wayne?

Doesn't remember him.

"You seem... familiar." She said, almost as if she can't quite place exactly who Bruce Wayne was, like if meeting him for the first time but yet, at the same time, not.

And no fake could EVER match the exact shade of those eyes.

Yet? She doesn't remember. Looks at him like she's trying to place the name of a near stranger. He's met ghosts. KNOWS that they forget. That the trauma of death can leave holes in their past. But... but it doesn't make it hurt less.

Why is she here? Why a castle? Where is his dad? She would NEVER leave him behind. Did someone BRING her here? Is this even HER castle?

He can barely breathe past the emotional pain, much less think. He's compromised and he knows it. There is one man he knows who can figure out what is HAPPENING. But so help him, if he touchs a hair on her head, Bruce will drown him in the Gotham bay.

He needs a Detective. An Occult Detective.

We'll have to go with Bruce being just Bruce and not showing up as Batman. But imagine if, when Bruce brings John Constantine over to investigate what happened to his mother, why she's in a castle, what happened to his dad and if someone forced her from beyond the grave.

It ends up being that Bruce is behind Sam while Sam holds out a hand with condensed magic at Constantine.

Why is Bruce behind Sam? Because Sam feels like she knows who this man is, even though the name keeps slipping from the tip of her tongue and she doesn't have any memories of him.

Why is she holding Constantine at magic point?

Because of his soul.

His soul is fragmented to hell and back and Sam doesn't even know how he's still living, and she can feel some very, very malevolent forces behind this man.

As soon as he stepped within her castle's grounds? Her magical wards went crazy, the entire castle itself seemed off put even.

This man was dangerous, and she wasn't taking any chances with him.

This is the only time the speed force gets to judge him but seeing all the blunders Clockwork had to fix, they really have no standing lol. Alfred gets to live and spend more time with his charges, but on the weekends he has to be away to tutor Danny who is resistant at first but then likes being around the sassy butler. He also enjoys hearing stories about his charges because they give him ideas for when he has to visit the fruit loop.

Vlad is not happy about Danny making his chandelier fall. He is even more annoyed when Danny tells him to have one of his butlers email him an iou as he hands over a business card. Alfred impressed the need of a business card but it was stories of how Bruce weaponed them against against annoying people that got Danny to make his own, and after using them on Vlad 1 time it has been so worth it.

Bruce just sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose to stop his forming headache. Ever since he and the family found out about the deal the entity Clockwork, a prolong life in exchange to tutor a future Ghost King, and finally meeting said future king most of his kids seemed to find him pretty. Someone, he doesn't remember which of his kids started this, jokingly said that maybe one of them should marry Danny into the family.

Bruce groans when he hears someone pull out one of their weapons and is now threatening the others with it.

Meanwhile

"DANIEL! Get down from the roof!"

Brucie had something like this happening a few years ago with one of his wards.

I thought about just tagging this 'nuff said, but it's not.

I want to say something to all of the women under 50 on this site. Ready? You do not have to be over 50 to start taking up space.

Danny hadn’t intended to go this far into the caves. Caves are dangerous underwater. They are dark, tight, and the currents can drag you deeper than you ever wanted to go. He had just wanted to hide, to escape, so he had gripped onto the edge of a tunnel knowing that only an idiot would get close with the current trying to suck them in. 

It had worked, Skulker had known better and hadn’t thought the welp would be that dumb, and if he had been taken then he was lost. He had left. It would have been fine if Danny hadn’t lost his grip.

Tight tunnels, dark cold water, and the current bashing him against the rocks. The journey had been long. Too long. Danny could no longer tell how far or how deep the currents had dragged him as he pulled himself bruised, battered and bleeding onto the edge of an underground pool to rest. 

He was trapped. The waterways leading out of this section of caves were too small for him to squeeze through. The ones leading in were too perilous to even try fighting the current.

Danny was alone, with nothing but his voice and his soft green bioluminescence to keep him company. So he sang. 

...

The music is what drew Damian to that section of caves. He had been investigating a nearby tunnel when a sound drew his attention. It had been low, mournful, and utterly alien. The language was none he spoke, or had ever heard, but each syllable carried the meaning far more than just tone alone ever could. 

longing, loss, lonely, pain, fear, lonely, lonely.

It was beautiful. Damian immediately suspected a trap, but could not bear to leave whatever the thing was to itself. So he followed the sound.

Sound carries oddly underground. It would have been impossible to follow as far as he did under normal circumstances. If it had not been for his training, and the peculiar quality of the voice, Damian would have been lost, if he would have noticed the noise at all.

The tunnel opened up into a large cave with several pools of water. On the corner of the largest pool, came a soft green light that seemed to be the source of the song. 

It was a person of sorts. Humanoid upper body with the lower half being comprised of a tail, more eel like than fish, with bioluminescent markings going along the length. He, and Damian was hesitant to call it a he, seemed of masculine build if on the lean side. Dick would make a joke about him having a swimmer’s body. A white, hairlike growth seemed to sport from his head, and Damien wondered if it was a type of sensory organ, or perhaps vestigial. Whatever the case, the white was tinged with red and whatever this creature was, he seemed hurt. 

Damian stepped forward, making his steps heard. The creature looked up, its song coming to a halt. Instantly Damian missed the sound. With wide, dark eyes and what appeared to be panic, the creature looked at Damian, and the cave was plunged into darkness

#after writing most of that i have come to a realization#because on one hand romancing the fish person and overcoming communication barriers

#on the other hand earning the trust of an injured creature of legend that's trapped and gradually helping and learning is also what's happening

#plus i just thought it would be cool to utilize siren song as a form of language or communication before basic asl is taught to the fishman

#because something like whalesong would travel better underwater than human languages

#so danny's vocal cords might not even be able to make a lot of the right sounds for english

Bruce flipping a table covered in glass figures: YES! YES. BOYFRIEND! MY BOY HAS A LOVER.

Jason: Bruce this isnt a football game stop-

Dick pull out his phone: TIM GET THE FIREWORKS!

Tim on face time: What for?

Dick: Jay has a Boyfriend! ONE HE WANTS TO INTRODUCE TO THE FAMILY!

Tim: WHAT?! YES. GOD YES! I'LL GET MY GUY FOR THE FIREWORK SHOW READY IN A HOUR

Jason: Tim has spontaneous fireworks shows guy?

Damian: Of course, he does. He's not a barbarian. Why are we celebrating?

Jason: Oh, hey, Dami. Sorry to wake you up from your nap. Bruce and Dick are just being dramatic about meeting my boyfriend.

Damian: You have a paramour?

Jason: Yes I do. What's with the tone?

Damian: I'm just surprised anyone would agree to that type of relationship with you.

Jason: The hell is that supposed to mean!?

Damian: I hear you tell Harper once that you would only enjoy the pleasure of flesh and that you would never commit to a relationship. I assumed that meant you would only have brief lovers for debauchery.

Jason: Oh. Yeah I told Roy that but that was before I meet Danny. He's more then a one-night stand.

Damian: Hmm. What does this Daniel-

Jason: His name is Danny

Damian: No. What does this Daniel do for a living?

Jason: He's a brain surgeon

Damian dropping to knees and ripping his shirt from overwhelming glee: YEEEEEESSSS!!!! OH MY GOD, HE'S A BRAIN SURGEON!!! TODD IS BRINGING A BRAIN SURGEON HOME!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR THE BLOODLINE!! FATHER TELL DRAKE TO CALL HIS BOUNCR HOUSE DEALER. WE MUST CELEBRATE TO THE FULLEST!

Jason: This is why I dont bring anyone home. Bruce, you good?

Bruce foaming at the mouth: SON-IN-LAW BRAIN SURGEON.

Jason: Mmh-okay. You're too far gone. I'll have to put you down.

Dick: *Twitching on the ground overwhelmed by happiness*

a leaked series of press shots shows a photo of the two recreating the spiderman pointing meme in the middle of the street and then a photo of Jason booking it while Dick gives chase, and the footage of Jason winning the gold will forever be immortalised in Gotham meme culture simply because Dick is seen in the background of the entire livestream, standing in the front of the viewing area with his arms crossed and fucking glaring into the side of Jason's skull without blinking or looking away for a second.

his first thought is Tim, until he remembers all the shit Bruce put Tim through under the excuse of 'training exercises' during the dark era, and he can't risk that 3-seconds-away-from-becoming-a-villain seventeen year old seeing a drugged up Batman and deciding 'ok my turn'.

his second thought is Jason except no it's not, not a chance, absolutely the fuck not, moving on,

third thought is Dick, but Dick has a childish streak in him and is the one that treats Bruce the most like a partner rather than a guardian figure. that's dangerous. if Dick's in a bemused and bored mood then there's a very good chance Bruce will end up naked on a raft in the middle of Gotham harbour while Dick livestreams from the bridge above.

so the final decision ends up being Damian. still young, yes, but also the most proud of his position as Bruce's son. Alfred comes to the conclusion that Damian wouldn't pull anything too bad because, well, it would reflect badly on his own family line. so he calls Damian out of school and asks him to watch his father for the night, and then he leaves only minorly worried. unfortunately for Alfred, Damian is thirteen years old and currently experimenting with the freedom that comes with not being a public heir to the Demon's Head, because as Jason told him, 'he needs to learn to fuck about without being paranoid about the consequences of his actions'.