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When Batman dies he comes back as a ghost nearly immediately. He soon finds a stable portal to cross through, intending to find Gotham as soon as possible.
What he finds is a teen hero in desperate need of help. He can help.
Ah, Danny now has a hero mentor. This would be better if his main antagonists weren't ghost hunters. Danny is trying to keep Batman in the Realms... It isn't going too well.
It's the escape artist training, Dad Shaping, and unethical use of Logic(tm). Which is a crime against him, Danny, specifically. This dad shaped man is bullying him! With earnest concern and offers to help and support him!
Is clearly terrified for his family and city but REFUSES to "abandon" Danny! D:> Stop being everything Danny's been praying for! This feels like a TRAAAAAP! He's gonna get attached then something BAD WILL HAPPEN!
*awkward BatHug deployed* its going to be Okay, Danny.
Nooooooooo T^T *is imprinting so hard you can see it from space*
Bruce probably starts guarding the inside of the portal. Sets up traps using Fenton tech. Makes sure no ghosts cause trouble during school. Well, for the ones he can stop any way. Danny hasn't had this much rest since he died! Batman is so nice. 10/10. Teaches him stuff, without being creepy!
Consider, the Ghost Baby Off-limits headcanon is at play, so even though this is a veteran Batman, he's seen as a baby. And when he explains why he's guarding the portal? It's seen as a baby being taken care of by a even babier baby.
Imagine Danny's rogues having their meltdown about being beaten by a baby. In front of Bruce. Who is like... How did you not understand that he was freshly dead? Power levels are not always indicative of age people!!
Bruce drops his head thinking for a moment. Ok, understandable. But! Natural portals can do that! You have a time ghost! You could have asked! Phantom isn't even two years dead! Now go say sorry! Says the two month dead ghost. At least he died an adult, and therefore will be respected. More so than still a teen, baby ghost.
Jason gets a call one day from a random number and theres a kid on the other end saying Jasons Dad told him to call.
Obviously Bruce has been dead for a bit so Jason is sus until the kid says one of the batcodes
The whole family is wondering if Bruce is actually dead or if this is more of a lost in time thing again (hes very dead but he does not care. Hes Batman.)
Given that the code is about a new family member needing training? Jason might just laugh himself sick. Look, B is dead, and somehow still adopted. What the fuck B!? He is absolutely tying off loose ends and getting himself to Amity Park. He can't wait to see what the fuck is happening. If he is taking a camera along? Well that's between him and Babs.
Batman of corse returns to Gotham and crime fighting. No one knows batman was/is dead.
Cue the justice league having to summon or fight someone from the GZ/Infinte realms. They take one look at Batman and just start parenting/baby talking/treating him like a child.
And Batman doesn’t do anything about it! His core is humming happily because he is a baby ghost despite being a adult human.
Batman has to have not known this was the magic users plans. Or he would have just called Danny. Which, let's be real? As soon as he knew this was the plan? Danny got a text off his ghost bestie/hero mentor. Promptly dives through the phone and pops up just behind him.
Danny: Why is Lady Pandora here?
Batman: Realms issue came up. As Earth's resident Realms wrangler? I thought it time to introduce you to JLD. As they didn't even explain that it was a Realms issue until they summoned Lady Pandora.
Zatanna: How do you even know about the Infinite Realms?!
Danny: Cause he's Batman. Duh.
Batman: This is Phantom. The hero of Amity Park. He babysits a permanent portal between the Realms and Earth.
Danny: Urgh. Babysits is right. So! Who are we fighting this time!
Zatanna: Batman? Are you sure? The being running around isn't an everyday spirit! The Ancient of Dreams isn't something for a teen to fight!
Danny: Wait! Nocturn got out again!?! Urgh! What's he doing this time?!
Batman: Phantom has previously fought Nocturn, Undergrowth, Fright Knight, Pariah Dark and Plasmius.
Danny: I've fought more than that! But they were the most powerful yeah.
I’m still imagining an eldritch being cooing over The Batman.
Eldritch being: *gasp* A BABY!! Coochie coo! Coochie Coochie coo! Hello little one!! 😍
The Batman, slightly tilting his head back so the eldritch being can gently tickle his chin with their huge fuckin claws: *deadpan* Hello. It is very nice to meet you. I know that I am a very cute baby, but my associates have summoned you for assistance. Please focus.
Love that the League summoned an (probably known to be extremely powerful) eldritch entity for help, only for said entity to do absolutely nothing helpful and this "random" Midwestern teen to show up and upstage them all.
The Ancient would absolutely help once the babies went to battle. Just in case. They would do that thing. You enter the fight as well, just in case. Watch every move. So you can jump in if needed, but let the kids figure it out. If not needed? You can then coo and praise them. If needed to help? You coo and reassure.
Ancient: It’s like watching their first steps once they stop holding your hand. You stay close enough to catch, but really you are just there to be a cheer section.
You know after Diana and Clark at the very least are going to demand answers. Bruce just sighs. And clicks a button on his wrist. The magic users/sensitive in the league all turn to him in shock. What the fuck! Batman! Since when!
Bruce: I died six months ago. As is protocol it wasn't announced. Since many of us return, one way of another. This time I came back as a ghost. Phantom is the protector of Amity Park's permanent portal. I stayed for a while to mentor him. But had him contact my children. They turned up to help. And likely to ensure I was still myself.
Marvel: Uh, question Mr Batman. How did you damper your aura like that?!?
Bruce: Phantom created the device. It users electromagnetic fields manipulation to scramble and hide Ecto signatures.
Zatanna: Wait! The kid?!?! How?!
Bruce: He is incredibly intelligent. And the son of mad scientists. He used their work on reading Ecto signatures to work it out.
Clark: Why did you hide it from us?
Bruce: Why would I mention it? I am still here. Changed yes. But not gone. It would have caused unnecessary distress.
Fsssssffffffx ‘unnecessary distress’. That is so in-character.
On the other hand, you know who would have been in real distress? His kids, for those two months or so between his death and Danny’s phone call.
Bruce died as Batman, from an injury in the field. He was still alive when he was brought back to the Cave and died in the presence of his family. Though he didn’t regain consciousness and they didn’t get to say goodbye, there was no chance for the body to be swapped; there is no doubt that Bruce is dead.
They all get very drunk for a night or two. Even Jarro, who, as a telepath, is basically getting drunk by proxy.
They had a drawn-out knock-down fight over what to do about Bruce. Tim and Damian were in favour of attempting a resurrection (Pit or Apokalips). Dick and Jason and Cass were very much not. They’ve reached a compromise; they are not actively working on it but the body is in frozen storage with a lot of alarms on it.
Jason, who’s doing a lot better these days, took the cowl. Cass will take over eventually, but for the moment Jason is the best at maintaining the illusion of continuity. They have a cover story ready to go for Bruce Wayne’s death.
And then Jason receives the phone call, to his Oracle-secured batphone from an unknown number.
That usually means one of the other Bats on a burner, which usually means trouble, so he answers.
“Um, hi?” Not a voice he recognises, at all. “Is this Jason?”
Young. Male. Midwestern. Asking for Jason on the Batphone. Could be real trouble. “No, this is Mark,” he says. “You’ve got the wrong number.”
“He said you’d say that. Um, Jason? I have a message from your dad.”
Jason gets angry and breaks code. “My dad is dead.”
“I know,” says the voice. “He says, recognition code bee zero one, whisky delta india hotel mike… no, sorry, hotel sierra mike kilo, circumference, um… flange, uh… requirement? Requirement.”
Jason can’t say a word. Can’t breathe. It’s B’s code all right, no coercion, not compromised, and he felt the need to specify no time travel. But what he really can’t get over is the way it sounds like the kid is listening to someone prompting and correcting him, someone who’s standing there with him.
“And he says, contingency four two seven gee and… three one five? Yeah, three one five bee.”
Jason doesn’t know these from the top of his head. He rouses enough to drop Tim a quick text. Tim knows all the contingencies, the little freak.
Jason: contingencies 427g and 315b
Tim: !!!!!!!!!
Jason: what are they?
Tim: holy shit
Tim: moving to group chat
Jason swipes over to the batchat group.
Tim: jason just texted
Tim: b’s come back as a ghost
Tim: and he’s adopted again
“Jason?” says his phone. “Jason? …are you still there?”
Jason is, of course, somewhat overwhelmed by this new knowledge. Relief and grief mixing together. because his Dad is back! But.. His Dad is a ghost. Still dead, changed forever. But, has adopted again? So still the same man they all know and love. His newest baby brother sounds so young and unsure. Clearly B's only just found him. Not had enough time to train him properly. He needs a minute, but his new baby (probably a ghost, oh fuck, B's ghost has adopted a dead teen.) brother is still on the line. So he has to push it to the side and get his shot together.
Jason: Yeah, yeah I'm still here. So, B's a ghost huh? How'd you meet him?
Danny: Oh, um, there's a portal? To the Infinite Realms in my city. It's um, it's in my basement? My, my parents built it. I accidentally turned it on. So, so it's my job to keep everyone safe. Batman heard about it. He wanted to get back to Gotham. Um, but he um, he felt I needed help. But, I'm not, not always there. So...
Jason: Its ok kid. Take your time. Sounds like B has his hands full over there. He asking for Justice League backup?
Jason heard the muttering start again. Why wasn't B using the phone? Maybe it was a ghost thing? Something to ask the kid.
Danny: No. Batman wants you to come visit. And help train me? Batman can't leave until we figure out a way for him to have a believable human form. And figure out how to get him enough Ecto to feed off.
I can't help but imagine the sigh the leaves Frostbite when he sees; the Great One, the Batman, the Red Hood and Batman's corpse being brought to him. And when he asks why? Gets told they want to know if Batman can use it as a way to pass as a human. If his old corpse will be able to sustain such.
(Also, side note, but do colour inversion rules work here? Because B? Probably not best pleased if he is bright white.)
Okay, I see your white Batman suit, and raise you he's Eyesearingly Neon Pink. You know the color, the one that seems to dlow in the dark.
And let's say for angst, that no. He cannot use the preserved body BECAUSE it is preserved. The preservatives have filled in enough of the body so it no longer counts as "Bruce" to his ectoplasm
Look, we all know Tim would hear that and cackle gleefully. He gets to use his cloning knowledge for good you say? It'll take a few months for the best to be ready. Just you wait. *gleeful evil laughter*
The reason I was going with white? Was mainly the pun-tential. He's no longer the Dark Knight. But the Light Knight. (Because nite lite).
How about mostly white with eye-searingly pink Bat symbol/belt.
Or maybe a neon green suit with the eye-searingly pink symbol/belt. Which would obviously be irritating for him in the human world. Neon green and pink are very attention grabbing. But then in the realms he would retain his nature and ability to slip into the "shadows". The shadows here more or less just being the ambient environment which Ghost Batman still blends in to.
In a way, it would be like the Universe itself telling Batman, "No, you don't belong to this world any more. Batman belongs to the Infinite Realms now. Go back to the new shadows you fit into." Not that Bruce is going to heed that message.
As for the body, it's at least still good for a dna sample. From there, Tim can work with the Yetis to grow Bruce a ghost compatible, empty human body. Although I don't think it should be quite that simple or easy. There needs to be some kind of counter-balance. A price to pay for the luxury of returning to and passing freely in the human world.
Ecto green with neon pink belt and symbol is perfect. Yeah, the universe can say what it wants. It allowed him to continue his existence. The universe should have known better than to think he wouldn't go home.
Oh absolutely. I'm thinking corpse au shenanigans? If Bruce wants to use his ghost powers he has to drop his body off at the cave. Whoch, let's be real, would cause some serious psychic damage to his family the first few times.
Maybe there's a grace period. That can be extended by putting the body on life support/in suspension. Not at all further traumatizing his kids. Right up till they are numb to it and begin making jokes. Bruce coming back to find them play acting "sad about Dad in a coma". Or his face being covered in doodles.
There’s a grace period where the body will keep breathing on its own, AND of course, sometimes there’s ghost emergencies where he doesn’t have time to get it back to the batcave. So he has to drop it off somewhere and call someone to pick it up.
Which generally leads to Bruce’s body getting “weekend at Bernie’s”-ed by his children.
They get a whole scrapbook’s worth of embarrassing pics they posed him for, a few of which have his ghost in the background smirking. This technically counts as family bonding time right?
Of course, now the rest of the Justice League know about this? He can traumatise them as well! Just, leave his body to stretch out properly and then get back in. In full view of the team. Who are now included in the emergency body pick up plans. They also get to see him in all his green and pink glory. Danny of course is not at all fazed when Batman drops his body. Ever. As far as he is concerned? The body is essentially a coat. This only re-inforces the fact that this is a dead teen. The fact he also has his living form? Doesn't matter here. He's dead enough for that to be nothing important.
Imagine that for his Brucie persona, he says that he has suddenly and spontaneously developed narcolepsy to explain why his body just suddenly ‘faints’ for long periods of time out of nowhere. Bruce just turns invisible before exiting the body so he can be in a hotel, meeting, gala, or car and the body looks like it just goes slack (but is still breathing). So while Bruce is often unconscious during villain attacks he can also do this to respond to SOS messages from the other bats. (does he use this ‘fainting’ to get out of meetings? Oh yes he does.)
(Or even better. He hires a blob to ‘take the wheels’ for a bit whenever he has to go Batman. This shall be Alfred the Blob).
Maybe he offers Deadman the chance. since he is a colleague he can trust. Like, I have a two week mission. where ghost powers would be best. If you could over shadow my corpse and make a few public appearances? Give you a chance to eat something for a change.
Superman held the ghost boy by the back of his suit. He looked young, so he didn’t want to hurt him. Batman walked over and took the ghost boy from him, who promptly calmed down from his fit when he saw him.”This one’s mine.” He said. The ghost shot him a glare, which didn’t faze him one bit as he set him down.”Pout all you want, you agreed to the adoption and I’ve got the papers to prove it.”
Danny changed back into his human form sulking next to Bruce.
"How did you know I wasn't Red anyway?"
Clark laughed a little at the kid now he knew who he was.
" Your heartbeat is too slow. "
Danny growled at the floor. Of course. Damn super hearing!
Bruce looked at his latest son and sighed.
"Phantom, why are you even wearing Red's suit?"
Danny grinned, wicked sharp and laughed a little.
" Agent A says he hasn't slept in 3 days. If he doesn't have his suit, he has to stay home. Also, I replaced all the coffee with decafe. But switched the containers. I gave it all to Agent A. don't worry. You just have to ask him to proper coffee now. "
Bruce just slumped a little as Clark laughed at them. And then Flash turned up. Great. Danny slumped into Tim's typical posture and gave his typical greeting. Hmm. Since when has he been practising that? He looked at Clark who nodded. Looked like they were testing the rest of the league then.
Clark smirked a little and ruffled Danny's hair, who acted exactly as Red would have. Hmm. This should be fun then.
"Hey Flash. Need anything?"
Flash grinned at them and pointed at Danny.
" Yeah! I could use a hand from Red. Have an engineering issue. "
Danny looked up, mimicking Tim's dead state and sighed deeply.
"Fine. What is it? Show me!"
Flash happily went of with Danny in tow as Bruce and Clark sighed.
" one down huh? "
"Not everyone has your senses Kal."
Clark laughed again and shook his head.
" Did you know he was that good at acting? "
Bruce shook his head. Thinking it over there had been hints. But...
"Nothing concrete. Hints of talents. I thought I'd have to train it more. This should be. Informative."
Clark shoved his friend lightly in the shoulder .
"You can say amusing you know. It can be both!"
Bruce just shot him a withering look.
" we should tell Diana. She will know either way. This way she won't be as mad. "
Clark grinned and listened out for her.
" Yeah, she's in the second meeting room. "
When they got there Diana was frowning at something in her hands.
Bruce tapped on the table and raised an eyebrow at her in question. Diana set the tablet aside and looked at them.
"Bruce, Clark. Do either of you want to tell me why Red Robin is not the person in his suit?"
They shared a look and both coughed to hide a grin.
" My latest addition to the family. He confiscated his brothers suit to stop him getting killed due to sleep deprivation. And decided to see what the watch tower was like. And how long he could go without getting caught. "
Clark grinned at Diana as her face morphed from worried to amused.
"He forgot to factor in our sense apparently. I could hear him cursing under his breath. Well... Lack of breath."
Diana rolled her eyes. It was such a typical stunt. She looked at Bruce again and raised an eyebrow.
" I take it you two decided to let him have his fun with everyone else then? Ah, and you came to me so I wouldn't ruin the game. Boys honestly. "
Bruce smirked a little.
"It's a good training opportunity for him."
Diana huffed at him and nodded. She couldn't deny it.,
"We may as well watch on the screen then. As this is supposed to be a training opportunity hmm? He is doing quite well actually. Anyone without sensitivity to magic or enhanced sense should be fooled."
In Gotham, Tim was extremely unhappy to find even his secret stashed had been raised of suits leaving him no choice. He couldn't go out without something so either he stayed home and slept or he borrowed a suit from someone else. He could always repurpose someone's old suit but that would take too long especially with the suit and armour upgrades necessary. He's just debating what to do when Jason grabs him and drags him over to Alfred. Tim pouts at being caught.
Meanwhile? Danny is getting updates from the batchat. Tim has finally been out to sleep. And Danny? Has managed to fool everyone who doesn't have super senses so far. Thank fuck for the bat standard 'hm'. If something comes up he doesn't know about? He just used that. It's great!
But! He just got a message from B. Time to end this now Tim is asleep huh? B is absolutely going to use this as an objective lesson of some sort. Ah, that's the meeting now please beep B is going to be brutal.
Batman: Phantom. Come here please.
Danny straightened from Tim's posture and grinned a bit too wide. Watching the rest visibly freak out? So much fun. He let himself hover slightly and floated to B.
Danny: Yup! So. How'd I do?
Batman: Well only Superman and Wonder Woman noticed. So given we have been here for four hours? Quite well.
Flash: Wait! What! Phantom? Who's Phantom?
Danny transformed and crossed his legs. Sitting in mid air. Then waved at Flash.
Danny: I'm B's latest stray! Red was refusing to sleep. So I stole his suits and tech. B let me see how long I could stay in character as Red. Supes and Wonder Woman? Noticed right away cause I'm not human, so I don't have the right vital signs, and I project a slight magical field. Which... I'll have to figure out a way to counter if I ever do recon in future.
Flash: Huh. Holy smokes kid.. You did a great job. How long have you been with them to pull it off so well?
Batman: Two months.
Green Arrow: Two months? And you can already do it so well?!
Danny: Aww. Shucks. Thanks!
Superman:/..... How did you do the voice?
Danny: Oh! I'm a banshee! So vocal magic is easy! Especially minor things like changing how I sound.
Wonder Woman:.... I believed the banshee were female?
Danny: Born ones yes. But I'm half spirit. I became a banshee when I died. And spirits don't HAVE physiological sexes. And gender is only down to self belief. So... I'm only a guy cause I remember being a guy.
Flash: Huh. Wait. Half spirit?
Danny: Yeah. I got killed and revived by a portal. So my physiological make up for all fucked up! I still have a human side. But even then my DNA is so different....
Flash:... So. Did Red actually sleep? Or is he being stubborn about it?
Batman: Agent A bundled him off to bed.
Danny: He threatened the coffee supply. And the energy drinks. And I hid the caffeine pills.
Danny, Tucker and Sam moved to Gotham for college. After, everything, was sorted out and settled down? They wanted to get away from Amity Park. And hey, Gotham have great scholarships!
Right now however? Sam and Danny were watching as Tucker tried, (and failed), to get a boyfriend. Danny had pulled out the camera after the first failed attempt. Tucker was being the worst. Poor Croc.
The video of the second attempt went viral. And neither of them were ever going to let Tucker live this down.
Danny: And here we have attempt four.
Sam: You'd think the man would learn a new approach....
Danny: He thinks Mr Jones needs an aggressive suitor. Something about the guy always being seen as big and scary?
Sam: Ahh. So that's why he's flung himself into his path. Screaming "let me love you".
Dressed up Tucker brings Croc things to liven up his den, low-light low-maintenance plants, warm furs, and spicy incense.
Then he moves on to foods, whole hogs and sheep, beef back, and exotics like moose and ostrich.
After that Tucker tries giving Croc clothing made to withstand his scaled skin and his rough lifestyle, beautifully designed to match Tucker’s Egyptian wooing-wear.
I feel like Croc would finally actually talk with Tucker when Tucker turns all wolfy and “monstrous”, cause now he gets it, Tucker knows what it’s like to be seen as less than human, he knows what it’s like to be called a monster.
And then meets his two best friends. Goth Plant Witch, and Eldritch Ghost Prince. And like, yeah ok. This man has never been normal in his life has he. Also, you two are bastards! There's a damn meme of me fleeing Tucker!!!
Tucker and his besties helping drag Waylon out of crime and getting him set up n a decent job. Mostly so Tucker doesn't have to miss him when he's sent to Arkham? More likely than you think.
Red Hood drops in to interrogate Tucker at his flat. Danny and Sam are there for dinner and just look over. Like, oh hey! Didn't you want to see Waylon's parole furry?? Seems he has a parole crime lord instead!!
Waylon being advice from Roy, who he helped. The core Outlaws all wandering by to check he's not being pressured into anything. Like, we can totes beat him up for you!!
It's ALSO coincidentally? A lot harder to be scared of a meme? Like? Oh that's not Scary Giant Killer Croc(tm). THAT'S "Let Me Love You" guy, you know, they one who ran away from a dude a third his size like a distressed Victorian maiden seeing a mouse? Scrambled up a street light?
There was a funky compilation video.
It's HILARIOUS.
Because of course it was. Waylon has a resting Murder Face and muscles for days. He's being hunted for sport by a tiny string bean tech nerd that HAS to be asthmatic and probably reads tech manuals for fun. Itty bitty twig of a man. And here is this HUGE Meta going "EEK~! Not ROSES! Oh NO, weaponized hugging! He might take me DANCING! Run awaaaaaay!" Like the world's most BAMF looking tsundere.
The memes are brutal and endless. Thirst edits too.
Because honestly? The Reptilian Furries (which I can not spell to save my life right now, but are Scale-ies?) Are all going: "Saaaaaaame. Man has IMPECCABLE Taste." And people are Bonk-ing them with horny jail memes and reminders not to fetishize Metas etc etc.
All while Waylon is just? Look he's not even sure if he IS gay! Or Bi! Or ANYTHING! His dating years were spent being hated and feared. And adult years mostly in jail! Cool you jets just a BIT, my guy! He says, somehow folding himself to hide behind (mostly) behind Roy.
Which is fair.
Tucker can respect that. He ALSO didn't have the best time, dating wise. And he didn't even have obvious Meta powers. Does Waylon still want this nice elk he got him? It's juicy!
And just? Roy standing there? Like "you BETTER not pressure my boy into anything he's not ready for. I'm watch you, punk." Radiating Dad Energy.
Gotham would be SO invested in their weird Meme/redemption love story? Its? SO Gotham. You other cities wouldn't GET it. Jones had a hard life, yeah? Made bad decisions. Is trying to turn his life around and find love. It speaks to them. They've all been there. Heck, they even heard Brucie Wayne reached out!
Wants to hire the big guy! Desk job and everything! And yeah, maybe it's some rich guy publicity stunt, but? They hope he takes it. Hope he MAKES it, man.
Roy just staring down this college kid who is trying to convince one of his people to date them. On the one hand, this IS hilarious. But on the other, Waylon helped turn his life around. He's not letting this guy Fuck him about. No siree. At least the guy is consistent? Keeps bringing out gifts Waylon actually likes. Turned up with a modified phone and laptop that could survive his claws and general strength. Useful shit.
Tucker is trying to be respectful, and too about this. He swears. But he would really like his crush to give him even one chance? Please?
Waylon is all sorts of conflicted. Yeah Tucker is in college. But uh, Waylon is a good 15 years older. And an ex-con. As well as someone with very few career prospects. Add to that the fact he's never really been able to date before? How does he do that? Is he even into guys? Is he even into sex stuff? He's not had enough chances to know...
Oh no... not the "what could a hot young thing like him, see in a washed up old has been like me?" Spoken by a grizzled BAMF! The Gothamite Pharaoh-Kid/Waylon OTP club can only handle SO MUCH! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!
Roy is stood there, arms crossed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Sighs deeply. Pulls out his phone and calls Jason.
Roy: We need help. With Jones. Yeah, yeah.... Did you see the latest video? Yeah well.
Hangs up and points sternly at Waylon.
Roy: Stay the Fuck there. We are getting stuff put together. And asking those questions. The fan club is gettin creepy. So we gotta sort this!
Jason, Harley, Ivy and Selina arrive. Kori pulling up the back. They have a series of lads mags, for all orientations. Questionnaires. Theoretical scenarios. And food. So much food.
Jason: Right! Let's figure your shit out!!
Harley: This ain't gonna be a comprehensive test mind! But it'll be enough ta give ya an idea!!!
A few hours later Waylon is both drunk and mortified. The group are feeling pretty good about themselves. And Tucker turns up on his door step. Full Pharoh outfit. Gold shimmery make up that makes his eyes pop. The whole package. He's got a new cooker. Danny helped him make it run off ambient ecto. So even if Waylon is on the run? He can still cook.
The rest of them share a grin at the situation. And push Tucker into Waylon's lap 'by accident ' as they leave. Waylon will figure out if he wants Tucker from there. Roy snaps a quick photo and sends it to Tucker's friends. All of them are way too invested. And share info back and forth. Only hiding it from their respective idiot.
Two days later? Roy gets a text saying Tucker never showed back home. Are any of their side willing to brave Waylon's place, and the potential for psychological scarring? Roy drags Jason along. All four of them very much trying to play not it. None of them want to be the one to knock.
Danny:.... We could get one of their shippers to do it?
Sam: Have we, or have we not? Fought God like beings together?
Danny: I still don't wanna see Tucker's bare arse thanks!
Danny ancient and embodiment of space: Sam I can tell the molecules in their bodies to stop bonding and literally take them apart molecule by molecule. I can't wipe the image of Tuks ass from my mind nor banish him from existence to prevent that.
Now that they are together? Waylon is a proper gentleman to his love. Escorts him everywhere properly. Kiss on the hand. Opens doors for him. Pulls out his seat.
Gotham love them. It's so cute! The scary ex-mobster and his tiny twink. So in love, so cute. So Gotham! That, they say, is peak goals!
Danny, being a little shit, grins and refuses to call Tucker anything except 'Mr. Foley-Jones'. For weeks after the wedding. Tuck blushes every time. Gets a dopey, love sick smile. Not that Waylon is any better. But Danny is leaving that to Harper and Todd. They can tease their person, he will tease his.
Duke was having a slow day when he heard the cry of outrage just across the street. He sees the store owner let go of the little kid he had latched onto and pull his hand close to his chest. The kid picked up the box he dropped and turned quickly to sprint away on tiny legs.
“He bit me!” The man screams as he stares angrily after the boy.
Instead of his training to intercept the thief and return the stolen merchandise, Duke follows his gut feeling and just tails the running boy.
From what he can see, the kid it young, maybe six he guessed (he’s not great with ages that young), with black hair and worn clothes. Homeless most likely, or a run away.
The boy slows down and hides in an alley to check to see if anyone is following. Duke takes this time to jump down in front of him.
Blue, blue eyes snap to him and widen in surprise.
“Hey, kid,” Duke greets casually, still crouched to get closer to his height.
The child shift from foot to foot, obviously debating with himself whether to run or not while eyeing him critically. Not easy to trust. Expected.
“Whatcha got there?”
Little hands grip the box of baby formula closer to his chest reflexively and then hides it behind his back. He shoves the water bottle fuller into the pocket of his too large hoodie.
“Nothin’.”
Duke hums.
“I don’t wanna get you in trouble,” he eases. “I just want to help.”
“I don’t need any help,” the boy denies immediately.
“You might not, but what about your baby sibling?”
The boy tenses and his eyes narrow dangerously. So Duke was right.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Why should I tell you?” The boy fires back venomously.
Duke shrugs.
“That’s fair. I’m Signal by the way.” No response, not that he was expecting one. “I do need to know that you guys are staying somewhere safe. You’re a really good brother for looking after your baby…”
The boy frowns. “Sister.”
“Your baby sister and getting her formula, but I’m sure you’d also like to be playing instead of stealing. Am I close?”
“I can help take care of Ellie just fine,” the boy defends hotly.
‘Help’. He’s not the only one.
“You can, but you shouldn’t have to. You’re just a kid too. I wanna help make sure you guys are taken care of. Nothing bad will happen if you show me where you guys are staying,” Duke tried to argue calmly.
He hasn’t had much experience with this kind of situation but he needed to make sure they were in a safe place. Child trafficking had gone down after Red Hood made his displeasure known, but it wasn’t nonexistent.
The kid shifts again.
“They’ll split us up if they throw us in foster care. You can’t call CPS. Promise you won’t.”
He didn’t even hesitate.
“I promise I won’t call CPS.”
The boy thrusts his free hand forward with his pinky out.
“Pinky promise,” he insists.
Duke has to lock down the smile that threatens to creep up on him. Professional. He needed to stay professional.
He wraps his gloved pinky around the tiny finger in front of him and reiterates the promise. Greasy, black hair flops as the boy nods sharply in acceptance.
“Okay.”
Duke does smile a bit then. “Okay, lead the way.”
The kid hesitates for a second before shaking his head and huffing. He leads the vigilante through back alleys for quite awhile before they come up to the back of an abandoned building.
The kid turns back to him with his hand on the edge of a piece of plywood blocking the entrance.
Duke couldn’t tell exactly what the boy was thinking, but he knew he was second guessing. However, with the bright glow this kid was giving off that make Duke think he was a meta of some sort, he couldn’t let him walk away.
The boy continues on like he didn’t even pause, pushing the board aside and slipping through the small crack. Duke follows closely behind as they travel through the place that looks like it used to be a restaurant that had burned down. They walk until they make it to the only room with light, a storage room, and find a red headed girl, older than the boy but still young, holding a baby as she boils something on an old burner.
She looks up and freezes when she sees him.
“Don’t freak out,” the boy interrupts.
“Danny,” she says slowly, her teal eyes zeroing in on her little brother. “Why did you bring one of them here?”
‘Danny’ pulls the water and formula forward sheepishly. Her eyes widen.
“Danny,” she says with disapproval.
“Ellie only has one pack left, Jazz, I had to do something.”
“You didn’t have to steal,” Jazz hisses. “Dan will be back with-“
“Yea, well, he forgot last time, so what were we gonna do then, huh?”
Four names. Four kids living in a burned to hell building that he’s surprised is still standing.
The two kids stare each other down until baby Ellie starts squirming and fussing, reaching for Danny. The boy huffs and takes the baby, looking almost comical with how small they both were.
“I wanted to make sure everyone was okay,” Duke said to alleviate the tension in the too small room. “I just want to help.”
“That’s what people say before they call CPS on us and we have to run again,” she glares harshly, standing from the floor. She didn’t even reach his shoulders.
“And I promised I wouldn’t.”
“He pinky promised,” Danny adds in a hushed tone.
Studying the other kids in the room, Duke can see that Ellie was as bright as Danny, just a different color, and Jazz only had a slight glow.
“How old is Dan?” He asks.
Jazz puckers her lips like she sucked on a lemon.
“Old enough,” is her answer.
“Nobody is in trouble,” he reassures.
Neither of the siblings answer for a minute, Danny nervously looking between the vigilante and his sister, and Jazz staring Duke down with narrowed eyes.
“He’s sixteen,” Danny confesses.
Jazz shoots him a scalding look, to which the boy shrugs off with no guilt, but doesn’t deny it.
The oldest isn’t old enough, which was what he was thinking, but it still put him in a weird position. Should he call Bruce? He should definitely call Bruce.
Jason would be so much better at this than Duke. The Alley kids love and trust Red Hood, but this technically wasn’t Crime Alley.
“I want to help,” he says.
Jazz folds her arms over her chest and he doesn’t blame her for her suspicion.
“How?”
Yea, he’s working on that.
“Who the f*ck are you?”
The snarl comes from behind him and he whirls around to see a teen that greatly resembles the boy. This must be Dan, but holy macaroni, he didn’t even hear him come in.
“That’s Signal,” Danny says, passing Ellie back to Jazz who takes her and steps back from the angry teen.
“Yea, I can see that. Why is he here?” Dan growls.
Danny squares his shoulders and lifts his chin.
“I brought him.”
Dan snaps his glare from Duke to the little boy.
“You WHAT?” The shout sounds too large in the small room and Ellie immediately starts crying. “What the hell are you tryin’ to do, you little sh*t?”
“Hey,” Duke says firmly, trying to redirect the anger to himself. “I would have followed him anyway, it’s not his fault.”
It doesn’t work because as soon as the words leave his mouth, he’s rounding on Danny again.
“I told you to stay here,” he points at the small boy who looks equally scared and defiant. “What were you doing out there, idiot?”
“You didn’t get formula last time,” Danny emphasizes the ‘you’ heavily. “So I went out and got some. You’re welcome.”
“You little-“
Duke intercepts the bulky teen when he lunges at Danny trying to grab the front of his shirt. From the way Danny backs up quickly, it’s not the first time.
“Knock it off,” Duke growls at the teen. “He’s a kid.”
“He’s a snot-nosed little brat,” Dan snarls at his brother and then turns his ire onto Duke, pushing the vigilante away with a giant shove. “And I’m guessing you’re gonna turn us over to those corrupt social workers, huh? Well good luck.”
“No,” Duke denies with his hands up. “I don’t want to do that. I promised I wouldn’t.”
“He pinky promised,” Danny insists behind Dan after the teen shifted to stand in front of his siblings.
“Shut up, twerp,” Dan snaps but doesn’t take his eyes off Duke. “Then what do you want, vigilante?”
This situation has escalated.
He lowers his hands to his sides to level with the guy.
“I just want to help,” he states for the umpteenth time calmly.
“Yea? And how you plan to do that?”
Dan has been burned before, Duke could tell. His distrust is valid with what he’s probably experienced in the past, and Duke doesn’t really know how to make the brightly glowing teen calm down and not snap his teeth (fangs? Were those fangs?) at any hand trying to reach out.
“I know a guy,” Duke blurts out. Geez, where was Babs when he needed backup?
“You know a guy,” Dan repeats with healthy doubt.
“He can find you a place to live. A place that isn’t a burnt down pizzeria.”
“You mean a foster home,” Dan glares.
Duke couldn’t really deny that.
“How about I talk to him and maybe we can set up a trial period? How does that sound? He’s got plenty of money and extra rooms to spare. Good food too,” Duke compromises. He hopes it’s enough to sweeten the deal and not set off red flags.
“We have a history with millionaires,” Jazz says with a cautious edge. From the dark look on the boys’ faces he can read it’s not a good kind of history.
“Technically he’s a billionaire,” he couldn’t help but say, “but he’s a good guy. I promise.”
“You’re talking about Bruce Wayne,” the red-head states in realization.
Duke thinks to himself that she would get along great with Barbara and not just because of their similar hair color.
“All I’m asking is that you trust me a little and give him a chance. If it doesn’t work out, he’s found homes for other kids before. He’ll make sure you guys stick together. I know how bad the system is, I get it, just… let me help. Please.”
The others look to Dan, the eldest, to make the decision. He glares hard at Duke, and if he hadn’t stared down actual super villains before, the vigilante might actually be scared.
After several long moments, Jazz speaks up in a hushed tone.
“I think we should try.”
Dan raises his lips in a silent snarl, clearly not liking her opinion, but not outright rejecting it. Danny huddles close to Jazz, gripping her shirt tightly, but looking between Dan’s broad back and Duke only a few feet away hopefully.
“One month,” Dan growls lowly and Duke has to keep the sigh of relief from escaping. “We’ll do this trial period for a month and that’s it. If we want to leave, then we leave and nobody calls the police on us. Got it, Yellowjacket?”
“Got it. I’ll talk to him. Just don’t leave, okay? I’ll come back tomorrow.”
Dan huffs and his eyes shift to the door in silent demand to get the hell out. Duke slowly makes his way over.
“Just don’t take it out on the kid. He was just trying to help,” Duke adds, trying to lessen whatever punishment Dan was going to give Danny after he left.
Dan snarls with, yes those were fangs, “Don’t tell me how to raise my brother.”
Duke lifts his hands to back off and then promptly leaves.
He grapples to the nearest roof and immediately calls Bruce.
“Hey, yea, I’ve got four kids you’re about to take in. You’ve agreed to a month trial because the oldest doesn’t trust the system and they all don’t have a good history with rich people. I’ll have Alfred get their rooms set up, but this is me letting you know. Oh, and one’s a baby so you’ll be paying for all the stuff that comes with that. They’ll be at the manor tomorrow so try to show up. Good talk.”
He left the voicemail as the only method of communication like a true Bat. Next was to actually tell Alfred and hope he doesn’t get the disappointed look, though he doubts he’ll get in trouble for helping out some homeless kids. The biggest obstacle will be Damian, but as long as there is some sort of buffer (i.e. Dick or Duke) it should be fine. Probably.
I vote for Duke and Damian being the favorite siblings, no matter what the others try to pull. Duke found them first and gave them a home, and Damian was the first to greet them into that home with a lovely knife to their chests.
Dan just absorbs them all. Raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Dan: Thanks for the gifts squirt.
Duke just sighed into his hands. Dick has gone to pin Damian to his side to stop him attacking in outrage. Jason. And Steph are laughing. Cass just nods in approval.
Tim: Why didn't we search him for weapons?
Danny of course bounces forwards gleefully.
Danny: You gotta teach me how to do that! You're aim is great!!
Jazz: Do you really need to learn to be even MORE dangerous?
Dan: Tch. The brat needs to learn stealth not weapons!
Bruce is just tired. Already. So very tired.
Alfred: Well. Time for lunch. There will be NO weapons at the table. Am I clear?
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Elle popped a handful of skittles in her mouth as she watched the shit show that Billy had just walked into. Everyone was yelling - at him - about Elle and about him knowing she was just a child and shouting about how could you lie about something like this? and on and on. All he had heard was that she’d been attacked and was in the Watchtower. When he’d seen she was a bit bruised and battered but no where near as bad as he’d been afraid of, he had been so relieved he hadn’t even stopped to think about the fact that she was in human form.
“Dude, there’s literally never going to be a funnier time to tell them.” She advised, grinning as she poured more skittles into her hand. “It’s not like it can get any worse.”
And well.
She wasn’t wrong.
With Justice League members shouting around him and gods shouting from within him, the calm, delighted amusement of his friend was the only touch stone Billy had.
A shout of Shazam and flash of lightning later and the yelling cut off all at once.
“Oh god, there’s two of them.”
-
“Where are you’re parents?” Superman asked with the bone deep horror of a father looking at two unsupervised teenagers caught doing something extremely dangerous.
Elle blinked at him. Shared a look with Billy. Shrugged.
“I never had any.”
“I did, but they’ve been dead for awhile now.”
Green Lantern pinched the bridge of his nose. Flash looked like he was sucking on a lemon. Superman turned and for some reason gave Batman a warning look.
Superman is in the corner doing breathing exercises. Wonder Woman is just gparing out of the window. Flash is switching wildly between feeding the children and berating them. Batman? Is glaring down at Phantom. Who just shrugs in a manner that says "and?" .
Batman: Why are you all living alone. Without any adults?
Phantom: Correction! We love in my lair. The Kings Keep! It has many many beings that are older than any being currently living in Earth! We have adults! Just not living human ones.
Batman: And why do you live there?
Phantom: Cause my parents hate ghosts? So me n Ellie can hardly live with them? Jazz is strongly liminal, so she can't live with them. And Billy was on the streets so we adopted him!
Superman: Why did none of you tell us??
Phantom: Why would we?
Flash: What do you mean Why would we?????? Why would you not?!?!?
Phantom:... Cause we didn't need help. So we didn't bother to ask for any? I'm confused. Why are you being weird? Is this a living thing?
Batman: You need a legal guardian!
Pahntom: Clockwork! He is time! He can do it! Good job done. Problem sorted! Can I take my siblings home now?
Wonder Woman: Clockwork? Please tell me he isn't my Grandfather?
Phantom: Ok! I won't tell you!
Ellie: Somehow.. They seem even more annoyed now?
Billy: Yeah... Big bro! Take us home while they are distracted by Clocky and his possibly Kronos reveal!
I love the idea that Danny is only about a week away from turning 18 and is now desperately (and futilely) trying to avoid Batman until then. Billy and Dani are no help, if they have to go through this then so does he!
I love the Batman has an adoption problem but given that Wonder Woman could potentially have familial claim via grandpa Clockwork I’d like to see Bruce and Diana working together to p̶a̶r̶e̶n̶t̶ catch these kids.
They can try. But not one of them will give in. Between all their ghost guardians, Jazz being 20, and Danny just 18? They have a whole bevy of adults! They don't need Batman! They are allowed to be ain't and uncle. But parents? Nope! Never again! Deal with it!
Batman: How are you paying for everything? Surely you need financial help!
Danny: Dude. I'm the Ghost King! I inherited Pariah's treasury. We just take out something worth lots and auction it off. We have plenty cash!
Billy: We make sure it's not magical or ghostly or cursed first!
Ellie: Yup! Pariah was always taking over dimensions and shit. Plus all the cultists. So we have a VERY full treasury. Plus cultists still give offerings.
Danny: I made it very very clear that sacrifices were no longer acceptable. So they resorted to money and expensive things.
I know we all know that toph loves to cuss, but I just realized
She had an extremely sheltered upbringing, then when she snuck out to fight, she went to the Earth Kingdom version of WWE, which, if it’s like real world WWE, is family entertainment, and she never spent time backstage, she came she fought she left
I don’t think Sokka or Katara would know swears either; they grew up in a village consisting of them, Gram Gram, and a bunch of little kids and their moms
I don’t know if the airbenders taught aang swears or not but I know he’s not really the type to swear anyway
Zuko, on the other hand, spent about 3 years of his life as a young angry teenager surrounded by sailors
Danny is on the run, having to abandon Amity park and everyone he knows. Luckily, Sam, Tucker and him made plans for this, Sam put some money aside and set up safe houses, Tucker forged him a new identity and a paper trail and Danny closed down the portal permanently.
So no more Daniel Fenton, Danyal Nightingale was on his way to Gotham with the bare necessities and an untraceable backstory.
The only issue, is the Wayne’s keep mistaking him for their youngest member, Damian. By the time he drilled it into their heads he wasn’t Damian, they still won’t leave him alone, asking all sorts of invasive questions they aren’t even being as subtle as they thing they are.
AU in which Damian had a twin brother named Danyal who died when they were 5. Danny isn’t that twin, but he looks a little too much like Damian for the batfam to believe him and his ecto corrupted his DNA beyond recognition so he can’t even prove it. Add to that he has a paper trail that the bats recognize as forged, a good forgery, but a forgery non the less. Daniel Fenton has been wiped from all digital record, and all paper records thanks to Desiree. It looks like Damian’s record, raised cut off from the world without a paper trail and having to build one up from nothing. To the bats it seems like Danyal death was faked and grew up separated from Damian in another base, but somehow escaped the assassin life given he seems to have forgotten his league training.
Danny would eventually snap and just stare at them.
“What is it you think you know about me? Huh! You are not being subtle so get it out and then Fuck off!”
He glared at them, with his back straight and arms crossed. Looking eerily like Damian when he was angry. The difference was in his eye and posture. He was ready to avoid and evade not attack. His eyes tracking their subtle movements to ensure he wouldn’t be attacked.
Damian breathed out harshly and nodded.
“ I. Had a twin called Danyal. He was killed when we were 5. Or, I thought he was. but… You look just like me. Like him. ”
Danny ran a hand down his face.
“Oh for Fuck sakes. No. I’m not your twin. I had to run away from my parents because they tried to kill me. They have government sponsors. So going to the police would have ended badly. Now would you leave me alone?”
The group all looked to Cass who nodded. So, he at least believed he was telling the truth. But the lack of previous identity was exceptionally hard to manage. There was no way a teen without help could manage that.
Bruce cleared his throat.
“ How can you be sure you weren’t adopted?”
Danny groaned in disbelief.
“You don’t believe me. Or, well, you think you know the truth. And don’t want to believe you’re wrong. You want me to be your Danyal. But! Even if I was. I don’t have those memories. And I don’t have any attachment to you. Why would I care? ”
That took them all back a bit. It was Dick who tried next.
“Would you not want to get to know us?”
Danny just scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“ why would I? You’ve been harassing me for no good reason? Digging into my past? Asking intrusive questions that have nothing to do with any of you? Why would I put myself into a situation where I had to live with that at any point? Now. I’ve indulged your curiosity. Leave. ”
They could see the way his body moved as if readying for a fight to break out. They backed off. Damian the least willing. He stared, and could see Danyal would not be moved. So he left a card with his phone number on the side table.
Danny sighed as they finally left. Fuck him! He was gonna have to move wasn’t he? Shit where else was safe? At least he could use the secured site to talk to Sam and Tucker. They’d have ideas right?
In the cave the family were… Dejected for lack of a better word.
Bruce: He doesn’t believe us.
Dick: And seems… Wary? Of us?
Jason just snorted. And shrugged. He could understand the kid.
“Well yeah. His parents, the ones he knew anyways tried to kill him. I wouldn’t trust anyone either dumbass”
Cass just nodded and pointed to Jason signalling he was right.
Damian was in the corner brooding up a storm. Maybe.. Maybe he was wrong? He, could ring Talia? No, that might put him in danger. Tim was at the computer still trying to find any trace of a previous identity. But could find nothing. He slammed his coffee back and twirled around to speak.
“Ok! So! Few options. One! He is Danyal Al Ghul, but lost all his memories and was adopted by less than stellar adults! ”
He pulled out a board and started to make a list.
“Two! He is somehow a clone that was just raised by those parents for mad science reasons! Or three! He’s telling the truth and just happens to look eerily like Damian!”
Bruce rubbed at his temples trying to get rid of his headache.
“ Even if it is option three we should still help him!”
Jason just booed him, before sitting up a bit.
“Nah. He’s what 16? 17? Ya gotta earn his trust. And you’ve already fucked up by being pushy fucks. If he’s had parents he loved and trusted and they’ve tried to kill him. He ain’t gonna trust another adult. And Damian wants him to be his Danyal. Which this Danyal can sense. So he’s out. Cass he won’t trust cause she sees too much. Dick he blew up at massively. Me? Nope. Tim and Steph are the best bet. And let’s be real, it’s Steph who would work best. But she won’t want to ruin the show. And she’ll respect that he told y'all to Fuck off. So. Tim it is! Duke won’t work cause he can’t lie for shit yet. Bless! ”
Tim grimaced a bit at that outline. Thought it over and then groaned.
“No! No! I refuse! I’m not doing that shit to him. Cause I get the feeling if I did, and the rest of you fucked it up? He’d never trust me again.”
Cass hummed for a second, clearly thinking and then nodded.
Dick slumped a bit in his seat.
“ But! He needs help! ”
Cass snorted and shook her head.
Tim leaned over to give her a high five.
“Yeah about that. He clearly had help setting up. That ID? Been around since before it was in use. It owns houses in several cities? And has money. Like, a decent amount. He can afford college and a gap year kinda money. He does not need help. You want him to. Because then he has to give in. ”
Alfred cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.
“Perhaps. In this case. It would be wiser to leave the young man alone? While I dislike the thought of it. Well. He knows where we are of he needs us. Pushing too far will lead to him running. ”
Tucker Foley finally getting an interview with Wayne Enterprises after months of applications and networking, caffeine abuse and despite the fact that Sam thinks the Wayne’s are sketchy. Only for Tim Drake-Wayne to watch in real time as Tucker’s boyfriend sleep-floats through the background and phases halfway through an exterior wall
and Tucker just sighs like this is a regular Tuesday before sprinting off-screen yelling:
“DANNY YOU ARE LEAVING THE BUILDING AGAIN”
while Tim is sitting there like
👁️👄👁️
because excuse me?????
and it somehow gets worse because Tucker drags Danny back inside by the ankle and Danny is STILL asleep and mumbling “five more minutes” while ACTIVELY HOVERING
Tim: did he just go through the wall
Tucker, immediately: no
Sam, from somewhere off-screen: yes
Tim absolutely mutes himself because he’s laughing too hard and now he’s obsessed because WHAT do you MEAN sleep-floating???
Meanwhile Danny wakes up just long enough to realize he exposed his ghost nonsense to a Wayne and immediately hides his face in Tucker’s shoulder like a cat that knocked over a vase
and Tucker still somehow gets the internship because Tim is like “well this is the most interesting interview I’ve had all month
It also shows that Tucker can deal with Gotham weirdness if he’s already used to dealing with meta shenanigans, gives him an edge over other interns who don’t have any experience with special survival instincts needed to live in Bat territory
Tim watching as the guy he's interviewing is having to reel in the love struck face. Tucker is fighting to focus on something other than his sleepy embarrassed boyfriend and it's hard! Danny is being cute, hiding behind him, face buried in shoulder. Adorable ok!! Tucker is trying to complete anninterview and Danny is not helping!
Tim sees this and is impressed. Tucker not only can deal with the weirdness, he also has mad skills, and can keep his smarts even under pressure. Even when love struck by boyfriend being cute. Tim struggles with that when Bernard is being adorable, so he gets it. Also, the fact they have a girlfriend too? Poly rep can only be a good thing right?
Also, the boyfriend has phasing and flying powers. If he has shape shifting too Tim is calling in J'onn because hidden Martian maybe? Tim has a new playmate for science and a new mystery to poke.
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Danny goes through a random Portal-and meets Ra's al Ghul. Ra's does not make a good impression.
Danny nods along and listens as the dude goes on and on about his plans to basically kill anyone who doesn't agree with him, when the dude says something that makes him.
Pause.
"And the Young Detective-I will have him on my side sooner rather than later. I have the facilities; creating the perfect heir from both of our genomes will be a simple matter."
Hold up.
Hold up hold up hold up fucking FBI open up-
"Young Detective?"
"Ah, he is the younger Detective of the set. Superior skills, really. Actually managed to win against me, and he's only sixteen."
And Danny?
Danny's rather spontaneously decided to completely raze this place to the ground. No reason.
Now, Danny has been listening to him go on. As he's noticed a few things. He seems to think the corrupted Ecto pool is important for one. How would he feel, if say, Danny banished the pool? Let's find out!
It’s definitely not the only thing Danny does, but it is indeed his opener… after his opening line of “I was honestly going to let you off- comparably- lightly before, but obsessing over a sixteen year old? You’ve chosen poorly, and I shall be the consequences. See you soon.” And with the flick of the wrist, he made two portals, one- seemingly- for himself, and one to banish the corrupted ecto pool.
I imagine that he’d stay behind invisibly to observe Ra’s. He’s got time and a target, and all the motive to make this guy miserable. He also needs to figure out how to contact this ‘Young Detective’ about Ra’s plans involving him. The razing to the ground part shall come after he’s sufficiently made this madman suffer and after he’s given the ‘Young Detective’ a chance to do the same as well. Danny really needs to figure out who this ‘Young Detective’ is.
Danny stared at the documents in dismay. He was gonna need the ghost of one of these guys to teach him the language. Urgh, of course they used some weird mash up of different languages and dialects for their cult specific documents. He glared at the papers for a moment longer before dropping back into the Realms. Finding a specific ghost would at least be easier now he was here.
He just had to drop by the Observants office to find the cults files. And then summon one of them. Relatively quick compared to how difficult it was before. And, with Tucker and Technus upgrades? He just had to type in the dimension number and the cults name to search. Bingo! Corrupted Ecto pool and lots of anger? Equals lots of ghosts!
Here we go. This one looks promising. Danny read the file and left. Time to summon the other ghost. He was so glad Ghost Writer taught him how ghosts could share languages. It always have him a major headache. But made life so much easier.
The assassin ghost looked very confused and Danny couldn't help but snicker.
Danny: Fell into your home dimension. Ra's al Ghul is obsessing over a child. I plan to make his life miserable. But, I need to know the language to read the files. Help a ghost out? Oh! What should I call you?
Fox: I chose Fox after my first century here. Ra's murdered me for daring to protect my child. I will help you. If you take me with you? I can aid in his humiliation.
Danny:... Deal! Language please?
Fox nodded and the two ghosts shook hands. Information sharing always took a while. But minimal contact was needed. Even if Ember had tried to convince him kissing was needed. The brat.
The two shared a feral grin and got to work. Fox had given more than just the language. And now? Danny had a helper to find all the secret rooms quicker. This was going to be fantastic!
Danny, ex-LoA Ghost Fox, and an eventual Tim team up to make one Ra’s Al Ghul’s life miserable. Wondrously devious.
No moral lines are really even being crossed. Just a… creative form of justice against someone who’d easily get out of a more traditional form of it. Followed by a prompt elimination of the resources of a threat.
But, until Danny and Fox can figure out who this ‘Young Detective’ is, they’ll have their fun collecting information on the changes since Fox’s time all while fucking with Ra’s Al Ghul’s every move. Literally. One of them monitors him constantly (whenever Danny doesn’t need a guide for something) and fucks around ghost style. He can barely get out of his own room unscathed with this. And he doesn’t have a nearby Lazarus Pit to fix the accumulating damage with.
If Fox is relatively modern, then he’ll especially understand why Danny is doing this. Because… a sixteen year old, who you’ll “combine your genomes” with? Really? Mr. Immortal, Should Be a Decrepit Corpse At This Point, Old Man?
Also, I adore the ghostly knowledge transfer stuff. It’s wonderful.
Tim finds them. Because, look. He knows Ra's had an unhealthy interest in him. And... It's been over a month. And nothing. No creepy letters. No assassination attempts. No kidnapping attempts. No attacks against his family. Just, nothing. And well, the LoA? Are never quiet unless something is wrong. Or someone is plotting.
So, Tim decides to go see what the Fuck is going on. And he was just going to observe. Until he saw what was happening. And, the Lazarus pit? Gone. Assassins? Defeated. Ra's? Covered in bruises and welts. Suffering 24/7 humiliation and pain. And... Tim HAS to know. Who is doing this? He needs to thank them! They are amazing!!!
Danny and Fox? See Red Robin cackling in a tree and are confused. Until he manages to explain why he's here. At which point Danny connects the dots.
Danny: You! You're the 'Young Detective' oh my guy! Yeah, I was not letting him do what he was planning!
Tim:... You did this for me?
Fox: Ra's was planning to create heirs using your blood. With his own.
Danny: Which is so very, very gross! He's ancient! And your 16! No way in the Realms was I letting that happen! So I found Fox, he's the ghost of LoA past. And we got to ruining him!
I love Tim just finding the LoA in a poltergeist haunting state. (Although, with Fox there and getting revenge, it might actually be able to be considered an actual poltergeist haunting)
It’s gotta be satisfying to see people who’ve harassed him for so long get tormented in a way that can’t really be (easily) debated on the ethics of (- no murder and normal methods of justice would be easily escaped, so consistent distraction and resource drain). And getting to see how they do it? Tim’s gotta be getting some ideas, and is likely to be much more willing to present these ideas after finding out about what Ra’s was planning.
Also, the “ghost of LoA past” is a great title honestly. Just comedic in context, and sounds like an inside joke to those who don’t have the context.
Also also, Danny probably didn’t even end up there because of the Lazarus Pits. If we’re being honest, Danny probably had accidentally found himself there with his luck. So, just imagine Tim and Fox’s absolute joy at knowing that Ra’s Al Ghul’s present suffering is all because Danny- with the most “Just Some Guy” energy ever- randomly stumbled in and got treated to a classic villain monologue that got creepier than necessary.
They are having the best time. There are no secrets that can be hidden between the three of them. Danny has vanished the Lazarus pits. They have been rerouting supplies to places that need them. Stealing and redistributing his wealth. all the weapons they had? Damaged badly. No one on any base has slept well in weeks.
Cloning pods? destroyed. Computers? Hard drives stolen and then trashed. Tim is having the time of his life. Ra's looks about ready to cry. This is perfect! And Danny is doing all this for him? *Dramatic swoon* he might be the one! Wait till he tells Jason about this! He'll be so jealous!
As a code-name, Fox, Danny, and Tim could call themselves the PR Crew (Petty Revenge Crew) throughout this entire event. This utter razing of Ra’s’ life work is wonderful, meticulous, untraceable, and unstoppable. They’re having so much fun at the expense of everyone else in that building.
I can also just imagine Tim coming home and genuinely swooning- visibly swooning in front of the other Bats, mind you- over Danny “Just Some Guy Vibes Are a Maxed Stat” Fenton. The only one with any context is Jason, only because Tim is doing a mix of bragging and asking for advice.
(Jason never thought he’d be in this position, but he’s taking advantage of this. A supernatural being who may or may not be royalty stumbling upon Ra’s talking about Tim creepily before deciding to just devastate Ra’s’ entire life work? And then just hanging out, leaving that rest of the family with no context? And Tim actually swooning? Yeah, most entertaining shit he’s seen, of course he’s gonna give Tim advice. And if some might be more… novel-esque in nature? That’s no one’s business but his.)
Jason gets women up by a phone call from Tim. Tim needs him to know what's happening. Right! The! Fuck! Now! He needs to talk about this or he will explode. Jason? Is incredibly amused. But also envious. Yeah he has Roy and Kori. But damn! Someone is really destroying Ra's just for you? Why won't anyone do that to the clown for him!
Danny of course will. If he gets tols. But he's a little busy driving this one asshole insane right now? Also, he put people in those pools? Oh boy. He's gonna need to find them all and give them blob ghosts. To clean out the ick. Also! Red! You wanna help me out speakers in all the rooms to play different, equally annoying/creepy sounds at different volumes?
Also! I found another stash of gold, who needs funding? Any war torn areas that need medical aid? We can help! Fox? Is having a great time. Did he always picture his vengeance being brutal and bloody? Yes. Does he regret not doing that in favour of prolonged psychological damage? No! This? Is fantastic!
Jason getting updates and listening to the drama and swooning. Damn Timmy, ask the boy out already! He's clearly perfect for you. Chaotic dramatic shots that you are. Also, if you see Talia? Send her my 'love'.
Talia? Does not appreciate the entire LoA suffering for the sins of her Father. But she can appreciate the sheer petty, vengeance driven actions. Red Robin is indeed a worthy foe. And his new allies are just as bad. She is going to cut her losses. Take what she has. With her loyal followers and leave. She does not want to suffer as her Father is.
Also! Probably going to tell Batman what his son is doing. And how her Father should no longer be a threat. You trained your third son well beloved.
not adding to the story so I'm just writing in italics as opposed to. Uh. putting three paragraphs in the tags.
Just letting y'all know, I'm picturing Fox as wearing like an old league outfit, color-swapped maybe not to white-white but like a very pale blue-gray, that's then customized a little bit. Like, he's been around for a while. Maybe a bright blue belt, maybe an orange scarf, maybe he took up knitting/crocheting/embroidery and has some random fox-themed items (a satchel with a fox on it, little ears on his hood, etc., etc).
I also tried to look up foxes for this to figure out which would be native to Nanda Parbat - ish areas (quick wiki search says it's supposed to be in the Hindu Kush mountain range which uh, as a mountain range, exists from Afghanistan to Central/South Asia so uh. Doesn't really narrow it down and then I realized that Fox could also be looking at non-native foxes so mep.
However! I did entertain myself by searching for foxes and finding the Tibetan (sand) fox and the Corsac fox. The uh, first of those looks like someone tried to squish a wolf to be the size of a fox and the second always looks either high or highly concerned in the pictures I was able to find. Love 'em.
(Anyways, result of that search is that red foxes, despite their very distinctive coloring meaning that they show up in so many drawings, aren't actually a common coloring for foxes in general. Like, ghostly guy can also fall in love with their red coats and little black boots, but sandy-colored or gray-ish foxes are going to be more common.)
Oh! But him having sand fox colouring goes so well with him being a dead assassin! like, camouflage bitches! Find me in the desert if you can fucko!
Which of course is being gleefully misused to Fuck with the LoA. Where the fuck did he go! He was right there! Now? Only sand! Fuck! What do you mean he vanished again! Poke the sand piles! He has to be in one of them!
Danny: Yay, my new family likes me! We should celebrate!
(later)
Joker: *eye twitching* how dare this little WAYNE BAIT TWINK foil my plans, while being funnier than me, and pOST IT TO YOUTUBE. to the tune of 🤬 YACKETY SAX.
*Danny and Tim high-five in the background. Tim is still recording*
Danny: I love your mad camera skills! The one with Joker tripping over his flamethrower trombone was just perfect - you caught the instant he set his own pants on fire! 😂
Tim: I'm gonna frame it and give it to Jay, he'll love it 😈
Jason gets given it on his birthday and laughs so hard he pulls a muscle. Roy and Kori are NOT sympathetic. They do get it though. They really do. In fact...
Kori: I will play sexy nurse,
Roy: Correction! WE will play sexy nurse! IF!!
Kori: You lend us your brother-in-law. We only need him for a few days!
Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???
If you are unfamiliar with Tofu, please read this post or watch this playlist about the snake who hates Markiplier.
tl;dr- under the Markiplier gif.
From the videos you can see she tries to figure out what is upsetting Tofu, and found that it's not just streamers, or just his voice, or the stream. This specific snake very much does not like Markiplier, and appears to recognize him visually and from his voice.
He does not like Markiplier specifically which is demonstrated by him squaring up with Mark, striking, and tail buzzing at him. He recognizes Mark specifically as a scary threat.
Animals have been shown to recognize human faces, and Tofu's reaction to Markiplier's face (and only his face as shown by the printout) is strong evidence that he recognizes Mark's face and differentiates him from other faces. With crows, they've been shown to hold grudges and have that grudge extend to other crows.
So Tofu has a negative association with Mark, and specifically Mark. The question is why? My theory is: perceived threat after a perceived dangerous situation. Some have theorized Tofu was mistreated by someone who looked like Mark- if they were while in his keeper's care she'd know. If it was his breeder, he'd more likely be afraid of all humans and need to first get over this negative perception (basing this on how Sakura reacted with massive trauma that took years for her to overcome, and to this day she's still jumpy. A breeder doesn't socialize their snakes so they'd only know humans to be abusive before being adopted, and his current keeper would very much notice that terrified trauma behavior to herself.)
One thing important to know about snakes is they are not only capable of learning from each other, but are protective of each other. I've seen this with my girls interacting with each other (yes snakes have friends and remember their family), learning from watching the other and copying her actions, as well as behavior I've observed on the Rattlecam with wild snakes. Adult snakes teach younger snakes, as well as are protective of them- even if they aren't their own babies. A female was shown on the rattlecam watching over a group of slitherlings that were obviously not her offspring as she was heavily pregnant. IIRC that same female ushered babies to safety after a hawk attack before worrying about her own safety. I've seen it in person as well with my girls, who have shielded each other from perceived danger, and scoria also squared up to something scary in the hall as though she were protecting me. And when it left she immediately went back to being relaxed and cuddly and happy. Snakes have friends that are snakes. It's an outdated belief snakes cannot bond with their keepers, as many do and seek them out for attention. These observations of snake behavior are part of what play into my theory basis.
So what could Mark himself have done? If you watch streamers you'll know Markiplier is known for playing jumpscare games with his FNAF let's plays being some of his most well known. Tofu's owner knows Markiplier, and is actively watching Markiplier with Tofu. More than likely she regularly watches Mark, has watched jumpscare videos, and had Tofu around while doing this.
It's a reasonable assumption. And if Tofu's keeper reacts to Mark's jump scare videos by flinching, looking frightened, or making frightened sounds, it's quite likely Tofu's sees Markiplier is involved every time... and blames Mark. Seeing his keeper get startled, Tofu doesn't understand it's a fun video or that humans enjoy being jumpscared (honestly I don't think I could explain it to him either) so he's learning from his human that Markiplier is a scary threat.
And from Tofu's point of view? He's right! Markiplier is a regular threat that not only (probably) scared his human, but regularly appears to stare him down and even went after him in his own home! And when his keeper scolds him? It's likely the same misunderstanding that dogs have when their owners yell at them to be quiet- they think the human has joined in! Clearly his keeper is joining him in being upset at Mark!
So in Tofu's mind? Mark is a diabolical threat to his family's safety that he must defend them against, and they are united with their keeper in their efforts to drive away that scary scary guy. You are very brave Tofu, and we are all very proud of you.
GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'."
A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face
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Red Robin watching from the rafters waiting for the rest to be in position to attack:
"So, the hostage has managed to derail the murder plan. Downside is that he's teaching Joker knife monopoly."
Batman "Repeat please?"
Red Robin "You heard me B. Knife monopoly. Least the victim has enough smarts to stall for time."
((That is not the case, Joker just doesn't register as a threat the same way a ghost would to Danny. He can survive anything a human can do unless they have ecto weapons. Which Joker does not.))
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