this is a title

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

why are people outside at the same time as me it’s my turn

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

Joy and whimsy detected! This uptown rat is joyful and whimsical!

SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

Out of my way, bothersome footnote, I'm about to get it

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

Complimenting the trans girl on her collar; finding out she's single; taking her to small claims court for fraud

I'll defend her in court pro bono. "Dress for the job you want", Your Honor.