ever since i was a little kid i knew i wanted to be someone who is very sorry

cartoon bully girl shoves me against a wall and goes "awww~ it thinks it's people~" but then i pull her aside and calmly inform her that i'm pretty sure i'm something else wearing the skin of a person and the more i describe it the more horrified and disgusted she becomes until finally she asks what i think i am underneath and i say. i dunno. but its probly something cool, right? and then she calls be a dweeb and shoves me against a wall again and asks me for lunch money. which i respond to with violent sobbing

She started kicking me and hitting me hard because I made her mad and i said "STOP STOP YOU'RE DAMAGING MY VESSEL" and she got really mad and told me to stop saying that and saying i'm a person and i insisted i wasnt and told her she should unzip my clothes and she called me a pervert and hit me more but eventually she did out of sheer curiousity and my body deflated and a small fox squirmed out of the gaps and looked up at her and she was really confused but then she decided the most sound option was to ask the fox for lunch money instead to which i responded with violent sobbing (fox)

Moral Of The Story: The Author Is Actually A Small Fox

Like my grandaddy uses to say ""ugly welds make the world grow round!"!! Haha. That was before he came out of course. Therian. Mom was a separatist, and a shitlib on top. Didn't work out. Then there was the war...

it has always been a dream of mine to relax

i must not go to grad school grad school is the soul-killer grad school is the little-death that brings total obliteration i will face my desire for praise and intellectual stimulation i will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it has gone past i will turn my inner eye to see its path where it has gone there will be nothing

omg I forgot I made this post. so i start grad school in september

i'm trying to save money but oh my god. jesus christ

Spinach is woke now

And for your third wish?

can you lez the fuck in

sweating us so fucking weird, like, if humans did our thermoregulation in a different way and other species we were frequently in contact with did sweating, we would all be like EW THIS IS SO WEIRD

Agreed. It would be 100% better if somehow the excess heat was used to produce small crystals somehow that we would then extrude through special structures in our fingers. This is how I wish human thermoregulation worked.

it's obvious that this would be better in essentially every way, but i worry that i would have emotional difficulty throwing out my crystals. where would i keep them all? in this world, is it socially acceptable to carry around a fanny pack filled with multiple weeks' worth?