Sushi Tushi

I had to turn this off, but it's something that allows Windows and anyone using your device to generate text/images.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

It shows that we are conditioned from a young age to believe that if we don't do what is expected of us, that it is a personal failing, regardless of if those expectations are actually achievable without inflicting harm upon ourselves.

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

Years later you find yourself in the middle of a raging battle. Your allies are precariously balanced between life and death. You are wounded, but can still fight, albeit not as fast or as swift as you would like. On the opposite side of the battle field, you see your friend engaged in combat with the leader of the enemy. It does not seem good. Your friend is trying to get up, but their body is shaking. Their hair is matted and coated with blood. The enemy leader has his sword drawn, ready to strike down and kill your friend. You will not get there in time. Tears well up in your eyes.

Not them.

Not like this.

If only you had just a few minutes.

Shepard and Garrus wedding near where they first met ❤️