ME3 Citadel: Party Phase 1: Bar Group (Ambient)
(if Miranda was invited and Joker and EDI are together)
Miranda: But you have no plans after EDI? Someone more... human?
Joker: Uh, no? She's smart, she's funny, and she's into spaceships.
Miranda: You know what you want. I can respect that.
(if Miranda was invited and Joker and EDI are not together)
Joker: So we've thought about it, but a human and synthetic in love? It's just kind of weird.
Miranda: I admit, I was very curious to see what happened, but perhaps you're right.
Joker: Yeah, and if we ever broke up? Well, nobody wants an angry ex equipped with a Thanix cannon.
(if Shepard was not in a relationship with Jacob)
Joker: So, where'd you propose?
Jacob: I want to do it right. Not on some backwater planet with some ring pumped out of a fabricator. My plan is: Shepard gets me and Brynn into the Council chambers, we do a picnic under the cherry blossoms, then comes the question.
Jacob: So Joker set you free, right? Do you ever get hassled for being a real-deal AI?
EDI: I am not programmed to make that kind of qualified judgement. My code is limited to information and simple interaction sequences.
Jacob: Hah! I asked directions from that bot on the way here.
Joker: So do you have infiltration software that lets you fake being drunk?
EDI: Yes, though it is rudimentary. The planned strategy was to avoid social situations where naturalism would come under scrutiny.
EDI: You are seeing it now.
Joker: Man, some Cerberus programmer phoned that one in.
Joker: Hey, when I was cleaning up the CIC, I found about 15,000 credits. Must've been the merc's payroll! EDI, we should figure out a way to slip you into the casino and put those credits to work. We could make millions!
EDI: Or we could turn it over to the Alliance war effort... or orphans.
Joker: You know why Cerberus is going to lose? Demographics. You recruit a guy who's twenty and got no life, he'll work his ass off for the cause. But do you see any old people in Cerberus? Any families? No. There's no future in a terrorist group.
(if Jacob is in the group)
Jacob: And sure, they pay, but you ever bring up vacation time? There was a brick wall.
(if Miranda is also present, otherwise go to "So how about you")
Miranda: That reminds me, I heard you're going to be a father. Congratulations.
Jacob: Yeah, thanks. Be lying if I said I wasn't scared.
Miranda: You'll do great. You're a protector. That goes a long way.
Jacob: So how about you, Joker? How would you turn Cerberus around? [to 1]
(if Miranda is present, but no Jacob)
Miranda: And I'm certain you have a better plan, waiting in the woods. [to 1]
(if neither Miranda or Jacob are present)
EDI: What would you do if you controlled Cerberus?
Joker: I'd make Cerberus popular. Big propaganda campaign, like I was running for president. Fundraising dinners, shaking hands, kissing babes...
Miranda (if present): I think the expression you want is "kissing babies."
EDI (if Miranda isn't present): I believe the expression is "kissing babies."
Joker: I know what I said.
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