Tormented by the Horrors™ @ladyteldra - Tumblr Blog

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pancakeke

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

pancakeke

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

mangonetics

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

pancakeke

OKAY FINE JESUS

pancakeke

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

teafromthemicrowave

Look whom I found at pride today

marisashorror

is the creature in your drawing "Unexpected Visitor" a dragon? do you have any more drawigns of dragons?? :)

Its actually a T-Rex, but it does kind of have a dragon vibe to it! I do have some actual dragon drawings, Ill see if I can find them!

marisashorror

A few of my past dragon drawings

pjharvey

i'm reading the genius of birds by jennifer ackerman (amazing book) and today i learned that the first ever documented case of a bird making a tool to use as a weapon against another bird was a steller's jay breaking off and sharpening a stick to wield like a lance at a crow that was taking too long at a feeding station the jay also wanted to eat at. the jay tried to stab at the crow but narrowly missed, the crow lunged back, the jay dropped the stick, and the crow picked it up with the sharp end pointing towards the jay and pursued it into the trees

pjharvey

imagine the guy in front of you at mcdonald's is taking too long to order and so you fashion a blade on the spot and hold him at knifepoint. and then he steals your knife and points it back at you while chasing you out of the restaurant. and also the guy is twice your size

persimmonlions

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catchymemes

ruinedchildhood

i-am-a-fish

I made this, please feel free to use

i-am-a-fish

I made this post a couple months ago, and I completely forgot that I made it

today has been one of the worst days of my entire life, and this post somehow made its way back to me, like a mental-health chef boyardee can.

it actually helped me a lot

i-am-a-fish

have some more

boiledegghole

americans love doxxing their home states more than anything. we hear the name of our home state and everything goes black and we wake up 10 minutes later, having reblogged no fewer than 8 posts featuring the name of our home state

princessbonecrimes

h/t to emilyscartoons

foxes-in-love

pjharvey

i'm reading the genius of birds by jennifer ackerman (amazing book) and today i learned that the first ever documented case of a bird making a tool to use as a weapon against another bird was a steller's jay breaking off and sharpening a stick to wield like a lance at a crow that was taking too long at a feeding station the jay also wanted to eat at. the jay tried to stab at the crow but narrowly missed, the crow lunged back, the jay dropped the stick, and the crow picked it up with the sharp end pointing towards the jay and pursued it into the trees

pjharvey

imagine the guy in front of you at mcdonald's is taking too long to order and so you fashion a blade on the spot and hold him at knifepoint. and then he steals your knife and points it back at you while chasing you out of the restaurant. and also the guy is twice your size

persimmonlions

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anexperimentallife

I know I've mentioned this before, but if your crush is autistic (or suspected), you ABSOLUTELY MUST tell them you have a crush on them. And if your way of telling them is inviting them somewhere as a date, you ABSOLUTELY MUST tell them it's supposed to be a date.

The only reason I am married to my wife now is that in 2018 she straight up told me she had a crush on me and wanted to be my girlfriend.

invisible-goats

Seconding. I didn't realise spouse had been flirting with me AFTER A SOLID WEEK OF TALKING ONLINE NON-STOP when they explicitly asked if I wanted to go on a date

bippysaurus-rex

One of my ex’s didn’t realize I had a thing for him after I whipped off my top, revealing a lacy hot pink see through bra and sat on his lap flirting for half an hour. His eyes never went below my nose. I sighed, took that as rejection, and moved off and said “oh, I had such a crush on you.”

He was genuinely shocked. He thought his crush was unrequited and was trying to be a gentleman. I thought half naked lap grinding was an impossible to miss signal.

If you have a neurodivergent baddie you wanna bang your only option is to yell “I CHOOSE YOU PICACHU”

a-crow-dont-know-the-smell-of-co

Remember: this is NOT only if you want to bang

if you want to not have sex but still want to smooch PLEASE clarify that

PLEASE!!!!!!

the-haiku-bot

if you want to not

have sex but still want to smooch

PLEASE clarify that

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

theranilord

Good advice. Reblogging for the haiku bot.

anexperimentallife

I feel honored that one of my posts was chosen by the haiku bot

the-haiku-bot

I feel honored that

one of my posts was chosen

by the haiku bot

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

synthient

The story of Cats is that in the 1930s, the famous poet T.S. Eliot wrote a book of cutesy little cat-themed poems for his godchildren

And then 40 years later, Andrew Lloyd Webber found a lost cat poem that T.S. Eliot had cut from the cat book for being too sad for children, and ALW was like “woahhh. A cat….that’s sad. That’s deep, man. I wanna make a musical out of this”

So the producer assigned to the project was like “okay, I guess you could maybe read these cat poems as a satire of 1930s British society? We could probably do something sort of interesting with that, I’m thinking a cast of about 5 and–”

And ALW was like “no. Forget the satire. Also I want a cast of dozens and the most advanced special effects technology ever seen on stage. I’ve taken out a second mortgage on my house to fund this”

And the producer was like “wh– you– wh– do you even have. a plot”

So ALW got a bunch of actors and writers and artists together and they holed up and did cocaine workshopped for 5 weeks, and at the end of it they emerged and said “the plot is that a bunch of cats are having a dance contest for the right to take a ufo to cat heaven :)”

and then it made 2 billion dollars.

castielcampbell

fageleh

hobbies should not take up this much space. there ought to be a hobby pocket dimension, where I am able to store everything I need in a breadbox that weighs no more than my cat.

sanguinifex

“Kink doesn’t exist in a vacuum” Correct! You should NOT put your penis in one!

mikkeneko

There are many things in the world that you can put your penis in. Once.

spaceshipsandpurpledrank

Fire Nation Soldiers vs Toph

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