No, one hip don't lie. The other hip don't tell the truth. That's why I'm mediocre at blues dance.

if i look back, i am lost
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@winged-light
No, one hip don't lie. The other hip don't tell the truth. That's why I'm mediocre at blues dance.

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*trying to come up with rules for my new society after successfully leading the revolution* why donât we just repurpose 5e
This is true but I'm gonna be controversial for a second and say that I feel bad for jocks who get hit with The Injuryâ˘ď¸too. The Injuryâ˘ď¸ fucking sucks, man. Having something that everyone praised you for when you were young suddenly betray you and having to grapple with both a sudden loss of ability (whether it's something that can be recovered from or not) and figure out what your future looks like now that the one you had imagined for yourself (whether it was actually realistic or not) feels like it's been snatched away is brutal.
Yeah, like, maybe we shouldn't be shaming/making fun of people for either of these things!
do people even realise how extremely common and normal it is for your sports trajectory to be horrifyingly and permanently changed by injury
like, pros have a whole team of doctors and shit and they still sometimes miss out on an Olympic medal because they're injured during the Olympics... or injured during the competitions that select people for the Olympics... or injured during their training in the run up to those competitions.
Teenage athletes don't have entire teams of doctors and nutritionists and coaches, they have - if they're lucky - a competent high school coach / local club coach and parents who give a shit. If they're unlucky they have, uh, themselves. If they're very lucky they have the coach of the national or regional elite programs, but that person is often looking after a whole team or program, and it may or may not be safe to discuss issues with them because they're also responsible for selection decisions. Or they're abusive, sometimes that happens too.
They can get injured during the important regional competition that would've qualified them for the national competition, or during the national competition that would've sent them international, or during tryouts for the school/university/regional/national team... and they may not get to just try again next year. They might have to go to college. They might be in a sport where they become an "adult" at 16, and go from being the top of the kids' category to the worst of the adults', so if they haven't been scouted by 16 then they're screwed. They might lose a scholarship if they get injured. Their parents might stop supporting their athletics if they don't hit a certain deadline.
I coached esports for a while and you'd think that'd be a sport free of life-ruining injuries, right? Nope - I knew kids who ruined their wrists so badly that they could no longer drink without a straw, lift a pen, or turn door handles. That's not just destroying your prospects as a pro gamer, that's life-changing in so many ways. I knew kids who got an injury at the wrong time, got a reputation as "unreliable" and then no good team would take them - and if you accept a spot on bad teams, you just end up with a lot of losses on your record and then no good team will take you, so you're stuck. I knew a kid who lost her professional career because her family insisted on taking her on vacation at the wrong time.
Being a young athlete is just, kind of fundamentally, an incredibly precarious thing with so so so much potential for heartbreak.
Pros: Wonderful friend. No comment, no nothing. All around, just a great person who has improved your life with their mere existence tremendously
Cons: You can only access them through the headache machine because they live 1 billion lightyears away
Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

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I spent almost an entire work shift drawing this tooth-rotting fluff
featuring the Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks
Okay this is just on another level. I'm not crying IT'S JUST RAINING. ON MY FACE.
why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when thereâs ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw
the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT
Tonight's mood:
(Thank you, Mr. Worf.)
Thinking about what Wolf 359 did to Sisko and Picard

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#idk what this means or if i do this but ig i'll just hold my phone with my pinky stuck out from now on??Â
Good question, also no that wonât help.
shitty MS Paint 3 minutes doodle, nto entirely accurate: When you have your pinky hooked on the âbottomâ edge of the phone for the extra security so it doesnât slide out of your hand that easily, youâre wreaking damage on your hand, since the pinky is extremely askew from itâs resting position. You might have noticed that when you hold your phone like that for long time it begins to hurt, like when you are gripping a pen too tightly for example.
Green lines - the fingers are going their natural way. Red line - the pinky is way off, thatâs bad.
Me: Oh, good thing I never-
Me, looking down at hand: By talos this can't be happening
thereâs nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic
I really like this website because somebody will be like âthereâs nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlickerâ and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.
whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight
The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated
Okay but as a Brit who moved to America, burger and big drink are good. Fantastic stuff. Burgers are the old reliable when nothing else on the menu can be made to fit your dietary needs, cause they're so modular, you just say "gluten free bun please" or "skip the onions please" or "and without the tomato please" and it works. And I need big drink. It's my emotional support diet soda and I will sip it until the horrors stop
I will have my big drink without any ice though, America will never convert me to liking brainfreeze
the more i talk to extended family the more i learn that it was EXTREMELY obvious to all the adults around me as a child that something had gone horribly wrong and i needed professional help, but i guess there's some sort of prime directive thing where you can suggest to the kid's parents that the kid might need help but you can never ever ever let on to the kid that you can tell something is wrong. you just have to hold on to that until the kid becomes an adult who's able to say "so i think i experienced a lot of trauma when i was very little" and then you can say "yes, i know. i didn't know what happened but it was completely unmissable that something had." okay. thank you. that's very validating. but why did you leave me to suffer and keep feeling like there was no other explanation than that i was broken and going insane. would it really have been so bad to sit me down and go "i see you. i can't help much, but i can tell something happened and you're in a lot of pain. you deserve help and support. you're not going insane." or something. i don't know. my internal experience was mostly that i had suddenly become a bad child who couldn't seem to get anything right and was always being yelled at. maybe it would have helped if someone had said something.
i love how you're saying 90% like it's a real statistic! it really makes this reply read like you have any idea what you're talking about.
a lot of adults seem to think that parents should control as close as possible to 100% of the information available to their children, including and sometimes especially the information pertaining to their children. i'm not sure i've ever seen this work out well. i've seen a lot of adults really fucked up by the realization that some really important information had been kept from them when they were children. no one's told me about experiencing long term consequences from having been given information about themselves when they were children.
if all information has to go through the parents, you're putting a lot of trust in the parents' willingness and ability to make good decisions about their children. but some parents are not good parents. some parents abuse their children. some parents neglect their children. some parents will hear "your child needs professional help" and they will smile and nod and then continue trying to punish their child into being fixed.
if we must always defer to the parents, there are so many children who are going to fall through those cracks. i know people who never or almost never saw a doctor as a child because their parents couldn't be bothered to take them! do you think that parents like that are any more likely to care about the health of their kids' minds than they do the health of their kids' bodies?
did you know people used to think babies couldn't feel pain? did you know that it used to be common knowledge that children couldn't be traumatized, because obviously they'd just bounce back as soon as they were out of the traumatic situation? we have decided as a society to abandon children to the whims of their parents, unless those parents are minorities or, rarely, physically endangering their children. we as a society are operating under the collective wisdom that the parents know best. and we as a society are wrong.
i don't care what parents think. we need to start considering what is actually best for children.
yeah, so, as a parent, i 100% agree with you on this. if people think i am fucking things up for my kid, and they don't think i'm obviously going to take suggestions well, they should probably tell the kid.
i have told many kids that their parents were fucking up and it has worked really fucking well at getting kids into better situations, and just... giving them some reason to believe something other than that it's their fault for being bad and deserving it, really.
As a kid I was so so so desperate for someone to notice i was suffering and tell me that my situation was fucked up, that they saw me, they couldn't help but they knew. Just one adult coming up to me and telling me that would have been such an incredible blessing to little me. I was far too afraid to reach out, and the fact that so many adults just seemed not to notice what was happening made me feel like no one would care. Maybe I was blowing it out of proportion, maybe I was bad.
So, yeah, I fully support this. The situation with the eating disorder cousin is clearly a different situation, if its true the parents were trying thier best to help. But. Even in that situation touching base with the kid and seeing how THEY feel about their parents help is absolutely a good idea. The parents help could absolutely be making the situation worse and it's good to ask the kid how they feel about it.
Also, no, kids in bad situations have learned they cannot go to their parents, that's dangerous, so absolutely not 90%, most won't.

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at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like âwow humans are fucking wildâ and took it
Humanityâs first contact with Vulcans was some guy going âIâm down to fuck.â
Vulcansâ first contact with Humans was an emphatic âSure.â
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
âsirâŚtheseâŚthese humansâŚthey greet each other byâŚâ *glances around before furtively whispering* âby clasping handsâŚâ
*prolonged silence* âoh myâŚâ
âsirâŚsir how will we make first contact with them? surely weâŚwe cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??â
*several pensive moments later*Â âcontact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, heâll put his hands on anythingâ
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: ââŚ.my day has come.â
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Yâall just be makinâ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: hereâs a screencap of Solkar doing the âmy body is readyâ pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochraneâs hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are âdistant xenophobesâ or âhorny on main for humanityâ. Also apparently this guy is Spockâs great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkarâs descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so Iâm not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkarâs descendants and humans, but Iâm also notâŚ.notâŚ.saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes CockraneâsâIâm sorry, Cochraneâsâhand⌠The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual⌠It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkarâs part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
Thatâs why heâs so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar canât believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him canât believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkarâs pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochraneâs firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, âTAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.â
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: donât tell me how to do my jobÂ
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.