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@just-a-random-nerd

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My favorite joke in Metalocalypse is how as the show goes on it becomes increasingly obvious they’re naming characters with the sole purpose of torturing Mark Hamill.
It’s been almost two years since I posted this but here’s a list of the official spelling of every character he introduces here:
Dr. Gibbitz
Dr. Amon Skagerakk Fredrickshaven
Dr. Donald Gorthian
Ronald Von Momnaldberg
Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich
Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III
Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink
Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr.
Dr. Chazz Fazzledopenhoffer
Vater Oorlag
Dr. Milminaman-lanilim-swinwamly
Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)
Melmord Fjordslorn
Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter
Dr. Amomolith Chesterfield
Wilmore Unduntingiminen
Dr. Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden
Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson
Dr. Tormindbind Mickmildididindnin
Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV, Jr.
Dr. Borgermu Barret Swingdworth
Dr. Richard Reinhold Rnawighiwowpj
Captain Slufgyflaysid
Dr. Bartholomew Grahsrihajul
Dr. Alsajahb Fifborgiltk
Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll
Dr. Commander Vernmim Chuntspinkton
Like I just love how you can pinpoint “Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden” as the exact moment the joke went from making Mark Hamill say funny but still vaguely name-shaped words to forcing that poor man to pronounce straight up keysmashes out loud.
you can only reblog this if you're not racist
huge coming from the site who is so against black art that 'tumblr users are afraid of rap' has been a meme for the best part of a decade. You know that yall are 4channers with pronouns right?
addendum: you can only reblog this if you're not racist part 2
secret magazine no. 21
Most people won't recognize these, but this was the original zero-g simulation rig used for the mercury astronauts. When people think of zero-g training these days they usually think of those omnidirectional training seats, or perhaps the "vomit comet" (big plane that simulates zero g by flying up and down in big oscillations) but before all that fancy tech, they had to make do with a carefully tuned set of springs that had to be calibrated separately for every astronaut. They would use the air lines to test decision making and cognative function in simulated zero-g by altering the percentage of oxygen in the air mix, causing brain fog, fatigue, confusion, and sometimes even blackouts to make sure astronauts could recover quickly. By the time of the Apollo program, these rigs had been phased out in favor of much better generalized training systems that used the experiences of the mercury astronauts to create far more realistic simulations of working and flying in low gravity environments, and sadly none of the original suits survived to this day, so these photos are all we have of them.
Institutional sexism lead one of the major concerns with zero g to be that the breasts of female astronauts would become floppy and unattractive. This is why the suction pumps attached to the breasts are essential, to counteract and offset this effect.
highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.
me: oh thomas cromwell, we're really in it now. every day i get emails.
the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: i was on committees with the duke of norfolk. and they beheaded me.
me: yep. good point.
me: cromwell. cromwell this post has got too big and famous and people are starting to misunderstand me on it.
the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: oh no! you achieved too much fame and status? and now people are misrepresenting you? should we strip your lands and title? have you been beheaded?
me: YES ALRIGHT FINE

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Shit man, this soldier war is fucked. I just saw a guy kill another guy, with a gun. I gotta get the fuck outta here.
I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)
[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]
Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*
*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*
*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*
[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]
Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*
Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*
Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*
Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*
Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*
Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*
Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*
Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*
[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]
[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]
[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]
Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*
[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]
[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]
Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*
Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*
Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*
Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*
Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*
Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*
Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*
[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]
What is Tumblr?
Tumblr is the opiate of the very, very few.
Really Big Coin Skrekkøgle
This is our Really Big Coin. It is big because it makes other things look small when photographed next to it. Actually, it is a 20:1 replica of the EUR 50-cent, you see it being milled out here. We needed to do quite a bit of sanding, lacquering and smudging to obtain the desired look and some climbing to get into required shooting position (you need to get up real high to take good pictures). The result is a short series of photographs, attempting to visually scale down real-sized objects.
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what the fuck

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Rewatched Goncharov (1973) and did a few studies of my favourite scenes
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
comedians can only dream of writing something this funny
imagine being a bird watching hot ones. you'd be like "wtf is 'hot sauce,' peppers don't do that" bc you don't have the neural receptors that cause a burning sensation if your tissues come in contact with capsaicin; you can stick your whole head in a ghost pepper no problem, so you'd think, wow these bald apes are full of shit they are faking a whole big physiological response to normal food for entertainment. weird. and then you'd be like wait, what are they eating? what are they eating?
bird girl age regression where she just curls up into a ball
bird girl age regression where she falls off a roof
if you’re a certain level of tall as a trans woman people will start acting like they genuinely believe it’s ok to treat you like transmisogynistic futa porn is real life and you’re the futa
this sounds like an exaggeration but literally i will mention that i'm 10cm taller than someone as a joke about how i can reach a taller shelf at the grocery store or something and the immediate response will almost always be "omg you're tall can you step on me" and i'm being fully serious. i hate it. believe it or not those extra 10cm don't make me want to have sex with every person who is shorter than me and also they don't make me a dom or a top.
has anyone considered that maybe this is sexual harassment? has anyone considered that maybe being taller than you doesn't mean i'm going to act like a futa from porn? has anyone considered that the trans woman might have some dysphoria surrounding height or pressure to be sexually dominant?

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Edit: the title for this comic is “Puzzle Rat” this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry it’s just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really
(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”) Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent
the fact that you can't mix viagra and poppers does feel like evidence of some kind of Ancient Roman metaphysics. you have Top Drug and Bottom Drug and mixing the two kills you. it's neat