...then perish.

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

what the FUCK is going on right now. what is going on

this post is so funny because it has over 10k notes and no context but all you have to do is look at the time stamp to know exactly what the context is

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

Like to charge and reblog to cast Chinese scientists destroying the Insulin industry

Here’s a link with more details! They got an insulin dependent patient medication free in just 11 weeks using a cell transplant! It’s still very early and needs a lot more testing to see if they can replicate the results, but having success in a human is very promising!

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

my big complaint about tomodachi life living the dream is that my mii can only date one person at a time. this is an outrage. how am i supposed to choose between murder man #1, murder man #2, murder man #3, murder vampire man, tired old murder man who is facing the horrors of his own consequences, and markiplier

not photogenic but i probably look sooo good as a distant memory