You are perfect just the way you are

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

oh this sucks I need to (remembers to make positive affirmations) perform for you now a completely improvised play. it will have never been done before and it will never happen again. it will be oscar award winning, it will be bafta worthy and it will have a beginning, middle and end. and all I need from you now is a title.

there is so much content about changing your life or becoming and it’s like whatever man you’re missing what’s right in front of you. Imperfection is forever.

Children aged 36-48 report their lives as “better than nothing I guess.”

youve been a bad *remembers youre plural* people

sad feeling to try to mutualbait when the mutual you wanted to bait already finished their tumblr shift for the day

you know you blog like a bitch when I was 10 someone said that

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays