幽玄

eating honeycrisp applesauce can ibe honest this shit goes crazy

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

its good when band names are things that are nice to think about. 'imagine dragons' well i am & its awesome. 'owl city' awww cute. 'barenaked ladies' hell yeah

(no beers in) i could really go for a beer right now

(two beers in) mmmm (slaps my belly) i could use another beer right now

(five beers in) (attacking strangers) (frightened animal backed into a corner) (blood stains the cracks in the pavement) (mothers wait for sons who will never come home) (flags rest still at the bottom of their poles) (the birds are silent and the wind does not blow) (there are no clouds in the sky) (there is no more water in the well)

(eight beers and two shots in) the peanuts at the bar are actually really tasty if you get to know them on a personal level

Do yall remember how crazy it was to watch HR episode 2 and have the sex fade out to more sex. I didn’t know we knew how to do that.

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

i in fact do NOT have a pocket full of sunshine, that is a glock

very disappointing when someone says "the bird app" and for one lovely moment I think they are talking about Merlin Bird ID by Cornell Lab, the free app that allows you to identify birds by appearance or sound, make a list of birds you have seen, and explore all the birds native to your region.... and then I realize they are talking about twitter.

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life