he/him hollander girlie

And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people

Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back

Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him

When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying

I know we said Shane is Miko’s little brother whom she loves very dearly (read: heckles and annoys the shit out of him), but don’t you think Miko deserves a little sister? A girl HAS to have a sister!!

Yuna, who is part of a group of avid bird enthusiasts, learns about another bird who needs a new home. She’s the same species as Miko and her previous owner was also Japanese (this bird speaks Japanese!). There is no one else more perfect to take her then Yuna. So, one of Yuna’s friends from the group obviously had the great idea of mentioning this to her. Now Yuna can’t help but keep thinking about this bird who is all alone and needs a family.

“David! We have to! It’s destiny! Shane just moved out!”

(In this verse this obviously happens when Shane starting his rookie season)

So empty nesters Yuna and David acquire a second bird, Miko’s brand new little bird sister, Keiko.

Shane is not very happy when he ventures home for a long weekend and is swarmed by two birds shrieking his name.

“SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHANE.”

They sound practically demonic. Shane is very much NOT pleased at all. He now has to deal with double the trouble and teasing from his bird sisters.

Bird sisters. BIRD SISTERS. SISTERS. Sisters plural. He could cry.

Keiko has been learning from Miko, so now double the chaos ensues.

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

i love keiko the parrot (in multiple senses lmao) who doesn't know WHY they're screaming this word, but miko started doing it when this strange man walked through the door so sure!! she'll join!!! SHANE! SHANE! SHANE!

shane goes home to visit for the first time after they get keiko, opens the door to a wall of noise, and then just. shuts it.

in actual fucking TEARS cackling about this

shane going through personal relationship war and can't even have the initial, "hey this is ilya. i love him." conversation beCAUSE THESE LOUD ASS BIRDS!! WON'T SHUT!!! THE FUCK UP!!!!

conversation gets derailed and poor ilya is now just. standing there. (because also didn't get a warning about the birds existing because shane didn't think about it when The Everything Else was more pressing, and also he played it off for shane's sake, but i do think he was a little nervous, too, about how this would go.) because now shane has to go over and greet the birds so they'll shut the fuck up and everyone can hear each other, but miko is mad they came to House Where Shane Comes Over Often and shane didn't come over often, so she starts climbing down her perch and extending her lil foot and going "SHANE! step up? up? pretty bird step up?" and shane is trying and failing to negotiate with the fucking bird WHO CAN'T READ A ROOM.

so now he has to be holding miko, and obviously keiko doesn't want to get left out if her sister is going to be hanging out on someone, so she skitters down, too, and pulls a "up? up? step up? SHANE! step up?"

NOT THE KISSY NOISES

ilya so ready to stand by and be supportive or be the bad guy if that made it easier on shane with his parents, but he truly just. does not know what to do about this bird leaning over from shane's shoulder and going, "kiss kiss? muAH!" (keiko is the one who wants kisses because her last owner did it all the time) (ilya, though, doesn't know how to take a bird?? hitting on him???? he's REALLY trying to stay focused and solid for shane, but there is a blue head leaning into his field of vision repeatedly demanding a kiss, and it's REALLY hard to keep his eyes forward past that)

and AAAAAHHHHH! I said in the original miko post that talking to miko like a person was how yuna knew david was the one for her, and I am SCREAMING and in my feelings about it immediately making her more open to ilya here.

first of all they absolutely rate each others nudes, sometimes they send them not even with the intention to send the nudes so someone else, just for the hell of it, just to have the other saying hell yeah brother looking good, just to boost self esteem

second of all while the idea of them 10/10ing each picture is funny and appealing to me, i had a vision in which i saw the most meticulous earnest constructive criticism in order to help the other achieve absolute perfection

-(a dick pic, full light) move your hand down a bit, will make it seem bigger and maybe turn down the light a bit, give it an aura of mystery

-(navel to mid thigh, a giant hickey right where the pubes line starts) damn roz, who did this to you? (ilya says you should see the other guy. marley doesn’t catch on)

-(mirror selfie, full frontal) marley don’t you have a mirror outside of the bathroom? the toilet in the background is a bit of a buzzkill

-(hands down pants, dick fully erect) love the vibe but there is a giant hole in your boxers, maybe change those