phantasmal and resplendent

a CRITTER? Carrying a BERRY?? Across a BRAMBLE VINE?????

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

a chainsaw is a lot like a hot glue gun

when you have one in your hands you start to get Ideas about your surroundings

they got married btw

You don’t see anyone talking about being at the combination pizza hut and taco bell anymore

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

An experiment with a clear negative outcome is still a successful experiment.

are u gonna let me sit by ur feet and lean against ur leg or do u hateme

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

I once saw an article put it this way: often "this is problematic" is used to shut down discussion of a thing, by casting a sweeping but vague judgement. But really if used at all it should start a discussion about what the problem is.

not feeling very hundred emoji flame emoji today

well I am so 💯🔥💯🔥

🧯💨

0️⃣🌫0️⃣🌫