this is infantilization

Mod: Ash, they/them pronouns. My normal account is @4shtronomy.

This account Is based on other this-is accounts, specifically about the infantilization of disabled people.

Schedule is mostly just when I can answer them, and there's supposedly 6 daily, this is because knowing I've answered something but not having it posted gives me stress, so some days/weeks there'll be 6 posts daily, and others nothing because I get very bad flare ups and I want to be able to answer the asks with the best of my ability.

First time doing this, so if I mess up in any way please tell me.

What's this blog?

[PT: What's this blog?]

This blog is focused on spreading awareness about the infantilization of any kind of disabled and mentally ill people. You can submit your own experiences or from others, as long as the privacy of others is respected. Infantilization in other departments is also welcome. Intersectionality is very important, and in a lot of posts it'll be apparent as when I see that anything overlaps I'll also add it there.

Vents are accepted. Depending on my spoons and if I think the ask could benefit from some info/resources/ideas I'll add those. If you don't want it in any way please state it in the ask so I can know, and if you want it and it's part of the reason you sent it also say it (as I don't do it always and I may not do it if it stated).

If you need tone tags, simpler vocabulary, etc please state it and I'll accommodate it as well as I can.

Constructive criticism about anything I've posted here is accepted.

Posts that explain some concepts in depth

[PT: Posts that explain some concepts in depth]

- What's wrong with (dehumanizing) infantilization and what can make infantilization be good/bad. [Link]

Tag system:

[PT: Tag system:]

#this is infantilization [link] for when something is infantilization.

#this is not infantilization [link] for when something is not infantilization and unrelated posts.

#resources [link] reposts that have relevant resources.

#it depends [link] for when I think there's more complexity than just it definetly is, or the Ask is vage so it could be more Than one option.

And specific hashtags for who's being infantilized.

This blog is inspired by accounts like: @thisisparamisia, @this-is-ableism, @this-is-anti-masculinity, @thisis-suicidism, @this-is-anti-homeless, @this-is-exorsexism, @this-is-ageism, @this-is-adultism, @this-is-amato-heteronormativity, @this-is-alterhumisia, @this-is-classism, @this-is-sinophobia-orientalism, @this-is-indigemisia, @thisisantisemitism, @this-is-deformimisia, and similar accounts. (If you don't want to be tagged, let me know and I'll take you out.)

About mod:

[PT: About mod:]

I'm Ash (they/them) and I'm a minor. I'm LSN autistic and for lack of better wording I'm "gifted" and have a high number on the WISC-V (142) which is to say that even if that score is very advitrary, classist, and harmful, I have not experienced almost any infantilization for my autism in that department, but for my age, stimming and social interactions. So I want to make sure that you know that if I ever fuck up about talking about the infantilization of Intellectual/cognitive disabilities, please let me know. As what I know comes from what I've been able to educate myself in, but I've grown in a place where I'm surrounded by a lot of harmful stereotypes and I wouldn't want to spread them.

I have chronic headaches, POTS, and very bad period pain.

I am in school. I won't be able to mod anything for that period of time or when I sleep. I hate seeing notifications so if they aren't very pilled up I'll answer them pretty soon, if I ended up having too many asks I'll have to ration them, but that's not the case for now.

I know personally people with epilepsy, rheumatic arthritis, astigmatism, dyslexia, ADHD, autism, DID, Bipolar, OCD, amnesia, and not much more. Even if I know it because of them I'm not an expert.

I want to reiterate, that my and my friends's disabilities are listed here because I want you all to know what I personally know of, to be able to see the biggest gaps on my knowledge.

It's the same with other emotions. If you hug a toy when you're really sad, even if it helps you, that's wrong and childish. If you yell or hit when you get angry, the response is barely ever "what are some other ways you can express your anger to others" but usually "you're not a toddler."

Version for people who might struggle with the longer writing:

People not like show emotions.

Clap hands or pump air when happy = childish, wrong.

Need hug toy when sad, people tell you stop being childish.

Yell or hit when angry not mean people say "how can we help." Means people say "you not toddler."

I asked them about it a while ago, and they told me that work or hang out at a daycare often or something like that, so apparently they're used to speaking like that. They don't talk that way to anyone else though, which her friend said aswell. They're pretty nice, so I try not to be bothered by it, but it pisses me tf off

This is hard to explain, so I'll try my best. I've had this group of friends since 2 to 3 years ago.

As I used to force myself to mask extremely hard when we first met, they just didn't seem to understand or know me to the extent that they currently do. After a year or being friends with them, one of my friends in the group, Lets call her A.

So A has an autistic younger brother, I've not told any of them I am autsitic and I don't want to.

Since the span of a year or two ago, A has been making comments about me being autistic despite me not telling her that I am autistic. If I talk about anything remotely close to my special interests, she immediately goes arround baby talking and saying stuff like "Aw.. is that your special interest?" Or just whispering to others about me being hyperfixated and whatever.

I have access to the sensory room at school, she found out, and isn't making it any better. And the fact is, if or when I insist its weird and that I am not autistic (I am, but i don't feel comfortable with them knowing) Others back her up, saying that im in denial and stop pretending im not.

A month or so ago, It was our final day at school. This ment signatures on shirts, parties and so on. I spent the day sitting in a classroom, not saying much and silently drawing. I was near a meltdown and extremely overstimulated.

It was horrible. A started baby talking to me and was like " Aw... are you overstimulated? I think you're overstimulated. Do you need your sensory room?" In the most infant like voice ever. I immediately said a quiet no even though it was extremely hard for me to speak. And one of my other friends next to me jokingly said " Holy autism" with a chuckle.

After the bell rung, it was the next part. I didn't expect blaring music and lights, and I kept asking if we could go or not as I was on the verge of tears. I told A i was going to ask my teacher to leave, and she insisted She come with. And literally told the teacher " Sir, are we allowed to leave? No, I don't want to leave. Its for \\\*insert my name" she said the last part in a baby like tone.

After I got permission, I walked out and went home. I've been thinking about that day consistently, as i was supposed to have fun, I didn't and it took me a few days to recover. But the thing I think most about is how people treated me during it.

My friends have also repeatedly shut me down consistently every time I say anything, including others becides A. They know I need clarity, they themselves brought it up. Yet, they get mad at me when they don't be clear and I get conflused and ask. When I tell them about things I like, they immediately talk about autism. Its just.. not nice. Like if I start rambling about my hyperfixations, A usually goes whispering to others and saying stuff like " Aww... they're(me) so cute. It's (my name)'s special interests." Or shutting me down completely by saying stuff and cutting me off like " Oh my god you're info dumping, awwwww." Which usually makes me uncomfortable.

But I don't know if this is normal or not. Maybe its a normal thing in friendships? I mean.. i don't think it's funny. But maybe its normal..? I've never had consistent long peroid friend group relationships before, so maybe this is normal. Should I cut them off? Or is this normal? Is this infentalisation? Thank you.

This is definetly infantilization.

They seem to do it in good faith, and try to accomodate you, but from the way you described that they act they are incredibly infantilizing of you, if you liked it/were fine with it then nothing. But as you've said that you dislike it then it's bad. You should (if you haven’t) talk to them about this in a serious way, one day ask them to talk or something, if you saying it while it happens hasn't worked, sometimes talking about it one day when it hasn't just happened helps. If you explain to them that it feels infantilizing and you don't like it and how it feels dehumanizing/uncomfortable etc and if they could please stop treating you like that, they should stop.

If they do, then it's your opinion if they take enough accountability/correct themselves good enough to still be friends (Especially considering you don't feel comfortable with them knowing of your diagnosis, because that's also something to consider. Will they never know? Will you tell them some day? That is up to you, but think about it.), or if they don't take enough accountability or ignore you/dismiss you, i personally think the best option is to distance yourself at least a little/stop being friends. But that is still up to you and your circumstances/opinions.

Due to her not taking me to hospitals at all now [since they kindly told my mother to fuck off since I am an adult], I have at least 2 untreated problems and she withheld my ME/CFS diagnosis from me.

Maybe this is not infantilization but it always creeped out my partner and I considering how old I am

i don't wanna explain how i know it is not just normal interest but i swear i do because i can compare it to other experiences. but it makes me really uncomfortable. it makes it hard for me to imagine being in a relationship because i'm always scared people will start treating me like a child because i am visibly autistic.

I was researching AAC apps and devices because I think one may be useful for me, and I noticed that just about every site I looked at said something or other about "AAC resources for children with autism". I am a minor, but I still think it's very infantilizing, probably especially to adults who need AAC too.

I feel like fidget toys are also seen as a kids' thing too and are also often marketed as being for autistic children, but adults can use fidgets too. I think the fact that these things are viewed as "childish" is definitely infantilization.

I am being irrational, not co operating, I am sure their fine, but their being shitty not consulting me and planning with me. All of this could have been avoided two lifetimes ago and one civilized adult conversation. This guy caused me 5 melt downs because he can't be a mature adult with me.

This is infantilization.