I so very much am tired of being alive. Like there's just no hope for me at this point
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@actingwithportals
I so very much am tired of being alive. Like there's just no hope for me at this point

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Why haven't I killed myself yet.
do you think you are the only one to have your profile picture?
Do you think you are the only one to have your profile picture?
Yes
No
one thing that was difficult for me personally to learn is to be okay with things being temporary. if i really liked working with a pen/other finite art supply, i'd avoid ever finishing it out of fear of it being gone. if i really liked a flavor of drink that i'd had, i'd stock up on it just to never lose it, and eventually grow tired of it.
i think this can tend to happen when you're not allowed the time/space to learn how to enjoy things at a healthier pace, when you've had a lot of loss in your life, for whatever reason... but i also think that modern day scarcity marketing preys on this fact knowingly.
i'm sure you've probably heard the 'burn the candle, use the nice dishes' phrase before, but my addition to that would be: if you don't ever use something out of fear of losing it, or you focus all your energy into maintaining it, you'll never learn to love it while it's here. candles lose their smell after not being burnt for 1-2 years, and ink dries.
the time will take it from you anyway, so it's better to learn how to say goodbye to something with grace than to avoid it all together.
anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma's boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are "like that" because they haven't seen their grandma's tits
good job tumblr 👍
there it is!
my comments on that post were (sorry for shamelessly copy-pasting them):
american attitudes about nudity are fucking wild, and the worst part is that because they're american, they just assume that everyone everywhere thinks the same. i will never forget seeing people on a left-leaning, progressive site saying that families bathing together is creepy and gross and clearly a sign that something is wrong with the family, that they'd never seen their siblings or parents naked and would in fact rather die. meanwhile to this day i bathe and go to the sauna with my sister and mother and have been bathing and sauna'ing with various family members - and even strangers! - my whole life. but yes, can confirm, seeing your grandma's tits as a child does you good, and not just because it teaches you that "beauty is fake and temporary", but because it broadens your ideas about what beauty even is in the first place. my sister and i used to spend our summers at our grandma's house by the countryside and frequently bathed and went to sauna with her. we saw not just her breasts but also her flabby skin, her moles and liver spots, her body hair and varicose veins, and we didn't see any of that as weird or ugly because they were a part of our grandma who we loved very much. and when we see those things in other people - ourselves included! - we think "well it wasn't ugly on my grandma's body, so why would it be ugly on anyone else's body?". it makes you much more understanding and "forgiving", if you will, towards the completely normal bodies of strangers as well as your own body.

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having read some Martha Wells interviews it does really tickle me to imagine that when Murderbot asks for a ride, ART is basically doing that thing where you decide to entertain an obvious scam artist for a bit. Like, "Well, this is most likely a corporate spy, but I guess I am spying back on corporates right now so sure LOL let's see what the humans told it to do to trick me"
And then said 'corporate spy' spends 8 straight hours curled up on a chair watching TV and ART is like, "Oh shit you're like, a real person with no agenda. Let's hang out actually"
You get a DM that just says, "Hi."
The user's blog has no profile picture. No posts.
It has one "liked" post: A big neon text link offering "FREE downloads of your FAVORITE SHOWS!!!"
Your finger hovers over the "report" button.
But then you think to yourself, "You know what? I'm bored enough for this."
yaknow, it occurs to me that rocky didnt realize how tall Grace was until they turned the gravity on.
Rocky: Oh cool, this (alien) has a similar bodyplan to mine. 5 protrusions from a carapace. they seem to favor two for manipulating items and another two to steady themselves, while the last one appears for observation and brain storage. interesting! i bet they walk around on all fours instead of eridians on 3 legs. super neat!
rocky watching Grave balance on two legs walking around the hail mary at a height at least triple his own: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
I appreciate stick rocky because I never have to figure out how his legs work🙂↕️ its vibes and whimsy in this house
Silly doodle idea: any character you wish wearing a traffic cone
rocky new to cone
something i didn’t touch on in my previous post bc it was already long enough—someone asked why ethically made clothing is more expensive than it used to be…
everything is more expensive than it used to be. even disregarding trumps horrific tariffs (which you shouldn’t do), inflation will always make things more expensive and in particular the lasting effects of COVID pricing are still ongoing. everything got more expensive, from food to replacement parts for machinery to cotton to lumber to metals that go into making needles and zippers, and so on and that means making things got more expensive.
the only reason you’re not noticing that rising cost in your fast fashion clothing is because shein clothes are made by people being paid pennies per garment, if they’re paid at all, using materials that contain lead and formaldehyde. labor is almost always your highest cost when making clothing unless you’re working with incredibly costly materials or you’re not paying your workers properly.
a single piece of ethically made clothing represents so many materials and so many types of labor. there’s the plant that had to be grown and harvested and then turned into fibers that could then be woven into fabric. the thread, elastic, and any fixings like zippers or buttons or hooks and eyes all have to be made from materials that are mined or grown or made. pigment has to be mined and processed or synthesized for the garment to be dyed or printed and that fabric has to be sewn by humans. not machines. there are many machines involved, from fabric printers to sewing machines to cotton gins to garment presses and more, all of which have to be human operated and/or maintained/inspected/overseen. and most of which have annoying fiddly bits that need to be replaced over and over and over again. all the facilities involved in making the clothing and clothing materials have to be cleaned and maintained and inspected. nearly every time a material or garment changes locations the terms and prices have to be negotiated.
nearly all of this is human work.
this is the miracle of modernity. there are so many processes that have to happen to get a single shirt in your hands and you’d never know because it seems so simple, so easy. and this is what capitalism doesn’t want you to know because there are so many opportunities to exploit the people who make the things we take for granted.

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Wanted to try my hand at comparing Book Rocky vs Movie Rocky. At first I was much more partial to movie Rocky (having seen it first), but now that I've read the book I think I'm fonder of his design and character in the book more! I thought it would be fun to combine my favorite attributes from both into one design.
And then I had a lot of fun with it and it spiraled into drawing a bunch of random Eridians and a design for Adrian. I just think they are very neat (and very fun to draw)!!
grace trusting rocky's skills so much he goes "you couldn't fix your astrophage collector?" in surprise and triggering rocky's "fail fail fail" spiral VS rocky trying to encourage grace by going "we won't give up. we're brave" and immediately triggering grace's memory of getting forced onto the mission. they just looooooove accidentally triggering each others' PTSD it's their favourite game
skirt
Some speculative eridian biology and technology! This started with me trying to explain Rocky's 2 missing claws in the movie, since he has 5 in the book, and it kinda got away from me lmao.
please lmk what yall think! i'm sure i made some mistakes or designed things in a way that might not be the most efficient, and i'd LOVE to hear your ideas!! i might draw them if they're rlly interesting too.
a PHM mention in the ig comments of my special relativity comic did remind me that Grace had to explain all that to Rocky (who eventually understood but was not happy about it)

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I gotta say I could not care less about the wattpad to AO3 immigration. Like... good. People should try out new archives if the one they usually use is no longer serving them.
"Oh but a handful of them will be weird puritans who don't understand AO3 policies!" So? Weird puritans don't understand AO3's policies every day. They'll falsely report some fics and the moderators will be like "there's nothing wrong with this fic" and life moves on. A small fraction of them will complain about AO3 on tiktok or something and people who are already complaining about AO3 on tiktok will agree with them and everyone else will ignore them. Who cares.
All the "those silly kids from Wattpad fleeing censorship don't understand just how anti-censorship AO3 is; they don't get that we're the cool big brave people! Look I found two ex-wattpad thirteen year olds complaining about AO3, which proves that they're all a bunch of whiny babies trying to change our awesome website!" just reeks of those "boomer can't get plain coffee in coffee shop from GNC barista" comics.
You're making shit up for drama to claim ownership over Already Using The More Permissive Website. Shut up.
im sobbing. ร็อกกี้ที่รัก 😍😍😍🥰🥰💕❤️🏳️🌈
close enough welcome back destiel
drew this