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@thenightgaunt

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âI love the way you light up when you talk about what you love.â
â Unknown
Mayor Mamdani signed a historic executive order today [01.06.2026]: REPEALING KIDSâ BEDTIMES FOR KNICKS FINALS RUN.
I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.
On April 21st, the left screen moved first.
I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.
At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.
On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.
At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.
Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.
I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.
My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.
The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:
Reviewed.
That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.
Let me show you my flags.
March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.
March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.
April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.
April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.
April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.
That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.
The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.
Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.
Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.
Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.
The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.
I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.
The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.
One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.
One account is a coincidence. But there were six.
Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.
My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.
March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.
The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.
The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."
Then the White House sent the email again.
I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.
I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.
But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.
Zero prosecutions.
As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.
I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.
The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.
In my field, we call this price discovery.
Corruption is the point. Corruption was their goal.
We created a system where people are afraid of prosecuting politicians because "it would look bad". And that has led us to an era where the most corrupt politicians have risen to the top via corruption/bribery/fraud.
Trump should have gone to prison for Jan 6th.
Fuck Merrick Garland.
WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

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currently
Star Trek: The Next Generation - USS Enterprise-D Locations by Rick Sternbach
Can you remember the 90s?
Yes
No
As in, do any of your memories take place during the 90s (yes, a single memory from 1999 counts).
I can remember about half of them. My earliest memory was probably 1995 and they go from there.
The 90s? I remember the 80s! Muahahahahahaha Muahahahahahahahahaha!
Drawing table from the 1930s
Hi I have a question about Pacific Rim. Given that the sparring is just A way to test for drift compatibility and any activity that requires people to collaborate and anticipate each others moves works, including stuff like multi player video games
Can you test for drift compatibility via improv comedy
They are piloting a Jaeger together in my imagination
#hate this. im in the shatterdome trying to coordinate my jaegers in the field fighting for the fate of humanity #and these two chuckleheads over here wonât stop doing bits on the open channel #they keep defeating kaiju with slapstick routines and its INFURIATING
yeah the worst part is it's actually working for them

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Humans are good sometimes actually
ok so this is another long shot but a few years ago there was a twitter post (in japanese i think?) that had measurememts for how to make this book stand thing out of cardboard that you could use to double up books and use up more space on shelves
back then i made a bunch of these but by now i lost the pic and dont know how to find the original post anymore
if it comes down to it i can just take one apart and get the measurements from there but i would be very grateful if anyone happens to have the original post or something similar??
don't mind how long it's been since i made this post, anyway i realized that i don't even need to take one apart to get the measurements when i can literally just unfold it and refold it /FACEPALM
so anyway here is the diagram for anyone else who is interested!!
this requires pretty big carboard pieces, if you have a really big box or something you can make it from one piece, but if you don't, you can also just make each of the pieces individually and then tape them together
and then in the end you put it together like this!!
and then when you make a bunch you can put them all next to each other and stack your books like crazy
EVERYONE START GETTING MORE USE OUT OF YOUR SPACE NOW!!!!
Oh thank you OP this would be an excellent use for the huge amount of spare cardboard currently cluttering my house. Brb making twenty.
ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them đ so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!
Hold on i should've been more specific.
First: THIS RECALL IS NOT STATE SPECIFIC. IT IS NATIONWIDE.
here are the specific products and dates:
FDA page on this:
Target is voluntarily recalling Up & Up Fragrance Free and Up & Up Fresh Cucumber Scented Baby Wipes following customer complaints of produc
If you use baby wipes go check them NOW. A lot of Burkholderia bugs are antibiotic resistant so infections can be really difficult to treat.
The Pride Month notifs are getting a little more direct this year.
hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?
IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!
great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!
hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!
excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth
guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism
great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? â¤ď¸
hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth
hey donât cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?
@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?
95 at present, more on the way :)
hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!
hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?
hey donât cry. 7,817 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet autism đ
hey don't cry. 7,836 species of frog in the world, ok?
hey don't cry. 7,864 species of frog in the world, yay!
hey don't cry. 7,935 species of frog in the world, yippeeeeee
HEY DON'T CRY. 8,008 SPECIES OF FROG IN THE WORLD PER AMPHIBIAWEB AND THE 8,000TH FROG WAS DESCRIBED BY TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR. Scherz, ET AL., PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
@lesmandposting I wasn't gonna say it but I'm glad you said it because I was thinking this also

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Gene Wilder, June 11, 1933 â August 29, 2016.
With Carol Kane in a promotional photo for The Worldâs Greatest Lover (1977).
Will the Real Captain Hook Please Stand Up?
An Examination of the Historical Figures Who Inspired One of Literatureâs Most Enduring Villains
Illustration of Captain Hook and Peter Pan by F.D. Bedford featured in the First Edition of the Novel
Recently, I stumbled upon a post that has been going around that made a rather intriguing connection between Peter Panâs Captain Hook and Treasure Islandâs Israel Hands. The author makes the claim that Hook, who was said to be Blackbeardâs bosun and the only man Barbecue feared, may, in fact, be Israel Hands reborn under a new name. Per the original post:
âBarbecueâ is Long John Silver from Treasure Island. Jas. is short for James, but in âCaptain Hook at Eton,â he's also called Jacobus. The biblical figure Jacob was renamed Israel.
Blackbeardâs historical boatswain, and also a character in Treasure Island, was Israel Hands.
Iâm just saying, if I got a hand chopped off and my last name was Hands... I might want to change it.
Itâs a postulation I had never heard put forth and a tantalizing one at that. However, while it is well-known that Barrie greatly respected and exchanged letters with Robert Louis Stevenson, on closer examination, the theory doesnât appear to hold up. Stevensonâs fictional version of Hands is an ill-spoken, uneducated drunkardâa far cry from the elegant Etonian that is James Hook, even if he had somehow managed to survive a gunshot wound (and apparent subsequent drowning) at the end of Stevensonâs narrative. As for the historical Israel Hands, he was not Blackbeardâs bosun at the time of the infamous pirateâs captureâthat title belonged to Garrat Gibbensâbut did play a vital role in Teachâs fleet and was made captain of The Adventure after Blackbeard deposed the former captain, David Herriot, and forced him to join the crew. Little else is known about Hands except that he was permanently disabled by a gunshot wound to the leg (from Blackbeard himself) and as a result, was not present at the final showdown off the coast of North Carolina that cost the infamous pirate his life. Instead, Hands was offered a pardon and probably lived out the remainder of his days as a beggar on the streets of London.
So, if Hands wasnât the primary inspiration for Hook, who else might we consider in our search for the man behind the myth? There has been much speculation over the years by both Barrie scholars and casual fans, and though we will likely never definitively pin down one single historical figure as the inspiration for James Hook, there are several possible contenders. Here, I will examine the five I consider most plausible.
1. Stede Bonnet, âThe Gentleman Pirateâ
If Barrie knew of Blackbeard and Israel Hands, it is likely that he also knew of Stede Bonnet. Most of what we know about Blackbeard, Bonnet, and their contemporaries comes from the 1724 work A General History of the Pyrates by Captain Charles Johnson (likely a pen name).
Stede Bonnet was born to English parents on the island of Barbados and grew up with a pretty standard, normal life for a gentleman of the time, though he did suffer the loss of both parents and a guardian at a fairly young age. He was a wealthy landowner who wore stylish clothes, had a liberal education, and even served as a major in the British army at one point. Life was good. Then, one day, seemingly out of the blue, he decided to turn pirate. Some speculate that he had a sort of mental breakâpossibly related to the loss of a childâwhile others think he just got bored of domestic life with his wife and had what we might call today a âmidlife crisis.â Whatever the case may be, Bonnet ended up purchasing a vessel which he named the Revenge and hiring on a crew. The only problem wasâŚhe knew absolutely nothing about sailing. It didnât take long for the crew to figure this out and become rather discontent with their choice of captain. Bonnet, aware of his limits, decided to partner up with Blackbeard when the opportunity arose, but Blackbeard quickly became frustrated with Bonnetâs ineptitude and more or less ended up holding him hostage on his personal ship and placing one of his own men in charge of the Revenge. Bonnet was treated well on Blackbeardâs ship but didnât do much actual pirating while aboard. According to one Captain Codd who was attacked by Blackbeardâs fleet, Bonnet âwalks about in his morning gown, and then to his books, of which he has a good library on board.â He was prone to bouts of melancholy during this time and was known to have expressed regret at turning pirate. When he was eventually offered a pardon and allowed to work as a legalized privateer, Bonnet changed his own name to Captain Thomas and renamed his ship the Royal James. (Bonnet may have been a Jacobite, as many pirates wereâmore on the Jacobites later.) However, his new attitude about piracy didnât last long and he eventually ended up back in his old ways. Bonnet was eventually captured by the authorities off the coast of North Carolina after a fight in which he had threatened to blow up his entire ship rather than surrenderâŚbut the crew overruled him and raised the white flag. Bonnet was hanged for his crimes in Charleston, South Carolina, in December of 1718.
2. Christopher Newport
Christopher Newport was an English privateer during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I who worked alongside men like Sir Francis Drake during the Anglo-Spanish War. It was said that he led more attacks against the Spanish than any other English privateer. In one battle off the coast of Cuba, Newport lost his right hand and later replaced it with a hook. Newport brought back countless treasures and curiosities from the Caribbean, including a pair of baby crocodiles which he presented to King James I in 1605. A few years later, Newport would go on to captain the Susan Constantâthe largest of the ships owned by the Virginia Companyâand helped establish Jamestown in 1607 along with John Smith and others.
3. Charles IIâs Illegitimate Son or Nephew
In Barrieâs novel, Hook is said to have borne a striking resemblance to Charles II. Add to that the fact that Hook was educated at Eton (a boysâ school often attended by the social elite, including royalty) and that Barrie notes, âto reveal who he truly was would even at this date set the country in a blaze,â and itâs possible to conclude that Hook may have, in fact, been a member of the royal Stuart family. What gives this theory even more credence is the fact that Hook tells the Darlings that if they join his crew, âYou would have to swear, âDown with King George.ââ This is particularly interesting because of the potential double meaning: Hook could be either referring to King George V of the Darlingsâ time period or King George I of the House of Hanover who ruled during the early 1700s (the time of Blackbeard and the height of the Golden Age of Piracy) and took over the throne from the Stuart line due to some Catholic/Protestant controversy. There were multiple Jamesâ in the Stuart line, so hang tight and pay close attention because itâs about to get confusing. There are two relatives of King Charles II, in particular, who I think might make good candidates for Hook.
James Scott, Duke of Monmouth
When Charles II was still a teenager, he and one of his mistresses named Lucy Walter had a son. James was born in the Netherlands in 1649 and closely resembled Barrieâs Hook in both appearance and personality, though his education was a bit spotty compared to that of other noblemen. He was a military officer who was known to be vain and violent-tempered. Once, he ran a man through for a minor insult but his ties to the royal family got him pardoned. Charles had no legitimate children and as his oldest son, James was brought up to believe that he should be the rightful heir to the throne. âBetter for Hook, perhaps, if he had had less ambition.â Better, too, for James Scott if he had been less ambitious. James, a Protestant, led an unsuccessful attempt to take over the throne from his Catholic uncle (also named James) in 1685 and was ultimately beheaded for it. It was a gruesomely memorable affair; the executioner did a botched job, and it took several whacks for Jamesâ head to finally come off.
James Francis Edward Stuart, âThe Old Pretenderâ
The other James who might make a good candidate for Hook is James Francis Edward Stuart, cousin to James Scott and son of King James II (who had James Scott beheaded) by his second wife. James Stuart, a staunch Catholic, had two Protestant half-sisters, Mary and Anne. Mary, along with her husband, William of Orange, first took the throne from James II. When they both died without producing an heir, Anne was considered the next in line. Anne, too, died childless and when she passed, the throne went to her second cousin and closest Protestant relative, George of the House of Hanover. James Stuart hated George for taking what he felt was rightfully his place as king and was quoted as saying of George, âwe have beheld a foreign family, aliens to our country, distant in blood, and strangers even to our language, ascend the throne.â He led an uprising known as the Jacobite Rebellion in 1715 in an attempt to gain control of the monarchy but was unsuccessful. Ultimately, this James lived out his days in exile in Rome, prone to fits of melancholy and eventually passing away in his 70s from a âlingering illness.â
4. J.M. Barrie
While all authors inevitably put a bit of themselves into their characters, it is unusual for a writer to give a main character his own first name. And James Barrie was, in many ways, like his character James Hook. When Barrie was still a young boy, his older brother David was fatally injured in an ice-skating incident right before his 14th birthday. The boysâ mother was said to have made a comment about how David would remain a little boy forever, nowâalways frozen in her memory at age 13. Barrieâs mother adored David, and his loss hit her extremely hard. She became more or less bedridden from her deep depression, and the only thing Barrie could do that seemed to make her happy was to dress up in his older brotherâs clothes and pretend to be David instead of James. James was not enough, it seemed. Itâs likely Barrie held both some reverential awe and some resentment for this perfect eternal youth of a brother, not unlike Hookâs feelings toward Pan. Much later on in his life, when acting out stories with the Llewelyn-Davies boys that would become the inspiration for Peter Pan, Barrie would occasionally take on the role of the pirate, âCaptain Swarthy,â a sort of precursor to Hook. Barrie even shared in Hookâs disability. Though he still had both hands, Barrie frequently suffered from severe writersâ cramp and had to learn to write with his left hand when his right hand troubled him too much. Indeed, his play Mary Rose was written entirely in his non-dominant hand.
5. Headmaster Wilkinson
This name wonât likely be readily familiar to most people, but Headmaster Wilkinson (sometimes given the derogatory nickname âMilkyâ by his students) is one of the few people we can definitively say influenced Barrie in his creation of Hook. Mr. Wilkinson ran a boysâ preparatory school in Orme Square near Kensington Gardens that George Llewelyn-Davies attended. He was a strict man described as having a long, pointed nose and golden mustache and who didnât seem to care much for children. He often referred to his students as âblithering little fools.â Wilkinson first shows up as Pilkington in Barrieâs precursor to Peter Pan, The Little White Bird.
He may be conceived as one who, baiting his hook with real knickerbockers, fishes all day in the Gardens, which are to him but a pool swarming with small fry.
Abhorred shade! I know not what manner of man thou art in the flesh, sir, but figure thee bearded and blackavised, and of a lean tortuous habit of body, that moves ever with a swish. Every morning, I swear, thou readest avidly the list of male births in thy paper, and then are thy hands rubbed gloatingly the one upon the other. âTis fear of thee and thy gown and thy cane, which are part of thee, that makes the fairies to hide by day; wert thou to linger but once among their haunts between the hours of Lock-out and Open Gates there would be left not one single gentle place in all the Gardens. The little people would flit. How much wiser they than the small boys who swim glamoured to thy crafty hook. Thou devastator of the Gardens, I know thee, Pilkington.
The similarities to Barrieâs later character of Hook are uncanny, particularly when one considers Barrieâs early draft of the play with alternate ending in which Hook survives the initial crocodile attack and returns to England in the guise of a schoolmaster.
Conclusions
J.M. Barrieâs notorious pirate character, Captain James Hook, though likely not based upon one single historical figure, can have his origins traced back to many real men. From actual pirates and privateers to British royalty to J.M. Barrie himself and a haughty schoolmaster he knew, Hook is a complex villain composed of sometimes seemingly disparate parts of complex men. This grounding in reality allows us to peel back the layers of lace and brocade to reveal the very human heart of James Hook.
âââââââ
For more information on some of the historical figures mentioned, I recommend checking out the following books:
A General History of the Pyrates by Captain Charles Johnson
Why We Love Pirates by Rebecca Simon
Pirates of the Southern Coast by Sandra MacLean Clunies and Bruce Roberts
Captain Christopher Newport: Admiral of Virginia by A. Bryant Nichols Jr.
The Royal Stuarts by Allan Massie
J.M. Barrie and the Lost Boys by Andrew Birkin