Xeans, The Soft

Five years later, this reads like someone’s dying note in a survival horror game.

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

All of the evil shit walter white did in breaking bad is masterfully foreshadowed in the first episode when we're shown that he's the kind of man who names his son after himself.

Of course he had no qualms about poisoning a child or selling jesse into meth slavery. That's just what men who name their child after themselves are like.

BOY could I go for some affection rn or maybe death

It's great that you're doing a queer interpretation of folklore, but before you do, do you actually know anything at all about folklore?

It's great that you're doing a queer interpretation of folklore, but before you do, do you actually know anything at all about folklore?

It's great that you're doing a queer interpretation of folklore, but before you do, do you actually know anything at all about folklore?

The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch

I love how here on tumblr dot website we regularly cast the greatest curse we can muster on each other by pointing our long creepy fingers and intoning "10,000 notes" in a voice that carries the winds of the mountain with it.

I might have made an error here

#here we have the classic case of tossing apollo's dodgeball in the air and standing directly under it as it comes down (via @qqueenofhades)

I truly enjoy how much Animorphs is like “here are our young heroes, each with a distinctive trope to fill in the group!” And then it makes you watch how the pressure of each person’s role grinds them to dust. And also they have homework.