Weeping Narcissus

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

I don't give an amazing digital fuck

You know that ‘your sixth most recently used emoji predicts this or that’ type of meme? We should try that with music. okay, the sixth song in your ‘on repeat’ playlist predicts the next person you will be friends with or fall in love with. no cheating, let’s go

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

little miss echolalia would like to repeat what u just said

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease

sadly the teaches of peaches is mostly lacunae but hard working scholars have been able to piece together at least two verses, being that "[one can] fuck the pain away" and "[...] like sex on the beaches".

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you