Whumpster Fire

For example:

Penny: But do daddies carry babies?

Me: Well, some daddies can decide to carry and have babies. You usually see mommies do that but some daddies can, and that's not really any of our business.

Penny: cause it's their body? And they get to decide?

Husband: yes! Like in our family mommy carried you and I went and got soft pretzels whenever mommy wanted

Penny: oh I love pretzels. And I've decided to be a which mermaid

Hilariously said documentary opens with: "The following film, 'The Miracle of Life" is about the process of human reproduction. Please use discretion when choosing to view the program." Exact words.

This was perhaps not the wisest decision because (a) while I'd love to say it didn't traumatize me, if I did I would be perjuring myself on Tumblr.com: as a result of being exposed to this film at a tender age I had nightmares for years... about being a sperm cell dying from vaginal acidity. Not any of the content that an adult would expect to be a problem to show children, like the footage of actual childbirth. And (b) they had just given their autistic preschooler a treasure trove of Fun Facts about reproductive organs. This is one of the classic blunders, and I don't think me telling my peers about the Seminal Vesicles and the Prostate Gland exactly endeared them to the other parents.

However, what this did NOT do was cause me to get groomed or cause any other cognitohazard bullshit that destroyed my impressionable mind.

Trans and intersex issues weren't really on my parents' radar at the time because it was (year redacted but hint: it was before 9/11) so I can't comment directly on ways of explaining those to children, but the reason I bring this up is to give a sense of perspective of how hard you can fuck up. If you can tell your kids that trans people exist in a way that's less age appropriate than showing The Miracle of Life to a 4yo, then buddy they're going to be fine.

I regret to inform you there are seven, although three can't be found outside laboratories.

is Tel Aviv the only city they’ve ever heard of?

(and also Greek. Like I think if you showed someone who didn't actually know the Greek alphabet but had seen lowercase Greek text before that "g" or "s" and claimed they were lowercase Greek letters you'd have a decent chance of fooling them)

They sleep at night, even in the absence of a light cycle, because that's when the temperature drops. Unlike humans, they don't use blankets. They don't try to preserve heat. They want to cool down faster, because because that's what their body needs shut down and rest! They RELAX in the cold!

Not only that, but their version of breathing is a constant influx of cool air. If they're without that coolant for even a few minutes, they're in serious trouble, and after half an hour, they're dead. Unlike us, they're at constant risk of overheating.

But not while they have a source of cold nearby. Like, for example, a human who lives at a fraction of their temperature.

On the Hail Mary, Grace spends a lot of time pressed against Rocky. Their temperature differences are extreme enough that xenonite can't entirely halt the heat transfer, so it's pleasantly warm. He feels like a cat curling up by the fire. It's relaxing. Of course, he also feels a little bad that he's draping his freezing raincloud of a body all over Rocky, but he figures Rocky puts up with the unpleasant cold okay.

Except: Rocky is chasing the cold just as much as Grace is chasing the heat.