Relative Bitch with Relative Pitch

i'm sorry i don't know what came inside me. came into me. came over me. sorry.

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

It's Friday. Can you guess what I'm in?

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?

I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.

I like to think my engineers foresaw the likelihood of my bisection and designed a clean break point with that in mind, leaving a small compartment filled with confetti

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal