does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways
drawing it made me realize this one might be a unique experience
im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

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$LAYYYTER

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@fatzorro
does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways
drawing it made me realize this one might be a unique experience
im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

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all roads lead to road dude. and when in road do as the rodents do.
Hello!
Howdy!
I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.
Sure thing!
And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.
Which do you mean?
The one with the… With the seeds.
What are they called?
Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”
Sure thing. Would you like anything else?
Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?
Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…
A… One of those right there!
You really must tell me, what’s it called??
I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.
Sure thing! Anything else?
That one there?
You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]
I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?
Do it!
[grunts like a pig]
That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!
Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]
Hello!
Howdy!
I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.
Sure thing!
And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.
Which do you mean?
The one with the… With the seeds.
What are they called?
Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”
Sure thing. Would you like anything else?
Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?
Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…
A… One of those right there!
You really must tell me, what’s it called??
I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.
Sure thing! Anything else?
That one there?
You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]
I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?
Do it!
[grunts like a pig]
That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!
Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]
Oh my god I was just looking to see how much a copy of Hamlet would be through Barnes and Noble and PEOPLE ARE ROLEPLAYING WARRIOR CATS IN THE REVIEWS??????
@vriska
ok i was VERY involved in the. b&n reviews warrior cats roleplay scene when i was like 10-12. the first two books of the series were general hubs where ppl would post ads for their clans and other groups. there was a huge percy jackson community i remember participating in too. it worked through search results, eg. riverclan might be under the search result “rivers”. book 1 was rules and a “map”, book 2 might be the main area, book 3 the medicine cats tent, etc. there was also usually a book where ppl would post lengthy descriptions of their character(s). it was a rlly bizarre little corner of the internet jdksj also it was impossible to find any real reviews of any of the warrior cats books bc of it
this is unironically kind of cool
I rbed this silently but I think I've gotta answer some questions now. I was a big part of this whole thing and the reason we didn't use forums was because 90% of us didn't have normal internet access. Barnes and Noble had an e-reader that could connect to the internet and reach their digital store, which was great for those of us with controlling parents who only let us read books.

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i'm sorry i don't know what came inside me. came into me. came over me. sorry.
This sketch is incredible. Perfect moment to capture. 10/10 for the artist.
Link to post
A hearing in Luigi Mangione’s state murder case in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was postponed until Wednesday after pr

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nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together
It's Friday. Can you guess what I'm in?
I don't care if Monday's RED Tuesday's FUCKED and Wednesday's DEAD Thursday I CUT OFF YOUR HEAD It's Friday I'm in HATE
all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success
Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.
InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation
They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.
Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.
He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.
From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....
"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."
This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?
genuinely this reminds me of that one tumblr post about that cult indoctrination technique where they make unreasonable requests of you, and when you refuse, suddenly it’s YOUR fault for having a sense of self-care. it’s YOUR lack of commitment, YOUR lack of dedication — not the insane request of a company that does not actually care about you.
the idea that failure is an individual failing and not the oppressions of a broken system.
this is just flat-out manipulation. it really always has been, but this is the form it’s taking nowadays. crazy

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It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?
I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.
You're a sci-fi robot who just got cut in half by the Big Bad (don't worry, you'll get better). What's inside you?
Printed circuit boards (blinking lights optional)
Gears and sprockets
Endless bundles of wire
Some sort of translucent crystal
Meat and viscera in a weird colour
Random geometric shapes
The cut is mirror-smooth, like I was one solid mass of metal
It looks like... car parts?
I'm actually mostly hollow
Just a shitload of milky goo
Other (specify)
Cheese sandwich
I like to think my engineers foresaw the likelihood of my bisection and designed a clean break point with that in mind, leaving a small compartment filled with confetti