The Homily

*Columbo voice* So you were reading posts on Tumblr? Oh, that's a great website. My wife has an account on there. She showed me one about the color of the sky? Funny stuff. Although there is one thing, sir. How could you have been reading a post when no one on Tumblr has any media literacy?

oh yes, i remember now. i was reading my own post i had just written. i'm a stickler for the details you know. here you can even see the time stamp indicating the moment of posting. clearly i was busy elsewhere when the murder happened now if you'll excuse me, there's a callout post i've been meaning to tend to

That explains it, sir. You know, at the station they always tell me I sweat the little stuff too much. But that must be how you have... what is it, sir? 500 followers? Very impressive. Well, I'll get out of your hair. Wouldn't want to get in the way of social justice. Oh, there is one more thing. There's this tag on the bottom of your post. Is that what you call those? Tags? I wonder where you get a name like that. Anyway, I didn't understand it. It says "queue be continued". I hope I pronounced that right. What does that mean, sir?

heartwarming: transfem named mary sue and transmasc named gary stu have had a beautiful nonbinary baby named donut steel

i am terminally A Sucker for characters who have a towering and generally earned ego about their own ability and absolutely no self-worth about themselves as a person at all. intoxicating combo.

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”

If the text says the curtains are blue you can argue about what that means; but if you’re going to claim they’re actually yellow you’d better have a really good argument.

i know the curtains better than the author. thank you for coming to my ted talk

Fandom has such unresolved mommy/daddy issues about authors. If you apply a little reading comprehension skills to my original post you’ll see I didn’t say anything at all about the author. You guys always make “interpretation” about your beef with the author. You’re all obsessed with the author. This post is just about deciphering what is there in canon. Figuring out what is being communicated by the canon itself with all the words and images and basic formal elements that are there in canon. That’s all it’s about. It really doesn’t matter if the author intentionally put all those things there in a pattern that might support the idea that this one character’s queer. That’s not what this is about. What matters is if you can compellingly argue there’s a pattern of evidence there. Or not. Everyone is conspiring together to make me go insane still adding shit about authorial intent on my post.

Gonna be honest a lot of people deep down view cheating as worse than abuse which is why so many people view downright controlling and manipulative behavior in a relationship as 100% permissible so long as that behavior is centered around either preventing or discovering cheating.