From the very first movie, droids are shown to be fully sapient, capable of choices and desires and likes and dislikes, and also regularly, and uncontroversally enslaved. The most we see re: opposition to this is Luke removing the restraining bolt on R2-D2, which is treated largely as a preference rather than a moral stance.

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

When Russia makes this post illegal

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When the domestic silk moth sends you nudes

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

you were almost turned into a vampire, but before you could be fully turned, the vampire was staked. This left you with a vampire weakness, while still being human.

when u finally see that bitch ass mosquito

Rickrolling is deceptive, but it's among the most harmless forms of deception available

That is a much higher voteshare to Binface than we expected, and much lower to both Reclaim and British Democratic Party, lol.

fantasy book with witches and wizards and magical people but all magic has a price, like

fortune teller: and speak up when asking your question, these are my cards so they share my partially-deafness

there’s a legend in this fantasy land about a powerful enchanter who traded their ovaries for the power to create earthquakes. the grumpy semi-sentient force of nature who negotiates these magic deals had thought it was pretty great one, sure to make the recipient of the deal regret making it soon enough (after all, the point is having to suffer a bit in exchange for magic, because life sucks even in magical fantasy kingdoms)

actually, cheating the Grumpy Semi-Sentient Force of Nature out of the suffering it hopes to inflict with the magic deals is a time honored tradition in Magical Fantasy Kingdom, which is primarily made up of sassy little shits. most of the kingdom’s mythology is made up of trickster figures

every year the Grumpy Semi-Sentient Force of Nature gets visits from tens of jewish witches and wizards solemnly offering to give up eating all foods that come from pigs or eating meat at the same time as dairy in exchange for the powers they want

some social media manager at doordash has been tagging T-Pain (the rapper) thinking that they're tagging some New Zealand soccer player this is funny as fuck